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I thought to kick this year off with a bang I would post about the thing we all love best. Sex.
Cmon!, you love it, I love it, as parents we don’t get nearly enough of it so here are some handy tips to help you get more.
The use of the Parental sex aids listed below is purely a recommendation, these may not work for everybody but I have found all of them incredibly useful from time to time. Hopefully you will to.
Parental Sex Aid Number 5 - Vaseline
I love this stuff. Rub some of this on your knob and there is no way those kids are getting through the door. Their little hands slip and slide all over that door knob and you can get at least 15mins before they start to cry out “mummy, are you ok? Why are you yelling like that?”
Parental Sex Aid Number 4 - Watermelon
I don’t know about your kids but give mine a piece of watermelon, you’re good for at least 12.5mins.
Parental Sex Aid Number 3 - Finding Nemo
As much as I hate the idea of the TV being a babysitter, sometimes you have to make that sacrifice for the greater good of getting a little Nookie. I am forever indebted to the makers of Finding Nemo however hearing Bruce the shark yell out “Just a bite” when you're diving for pearls can be kinky, weird and funny all at the same time.
Parental Sex Aid Number 2 - Play Dough
This stuff is even better than watermelon! Give the kiddly-winks some of this stuff and you can have un-interrupted monster mashing for a good half an hour.
The Number One Parental Sex Aid for 2007- Grandparents
Drop off the little ones at the moldy oldies and you’re in for a whole glorious night of “how’s your grandfather” wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean?
Well these are my top 5 parental sex aids for 2007. Now that you know about them, hopefully you can go forth and use them as much as I do to get it aaawwwwwnnnn.
from http://www.dadcentric.com/2007/01/the_top_5_paren.html