Falling Before Her Eyes - Chapter 4
Title: Falling Before Her Eyes - Chapter 4
Author: jentle55
Word Count: 5,887
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some Parts are Not Canon! You are warned....
Summary: Based closely on the movie (but not really this chapter), read the story of Megamind and Roxanne's romance through his changing interpretations of Roxanne's hair.
Disclaimer: Dreamworks owns everything.
Start from the Beginning
Last Chapter
RING. Click.
“....”
“..Hello?”
“... Ollo?”
“Oh, Hi Bernard! It’s Roxanne! Sorry, I thought the line was dead when you didn’t say anything.”
“Roxanne! Oh, I’m happy to hear from you!”
“Haha, you sound like you didn’t think I would call.”
“Ye- er no. No, it’s not that. Well it is- I mean. Hmm.”
“...Are you ok? You sound nervous?”
“Who ME?! HAHAHAHA No. Not nervous at all. I’m great. FANTASTIC! ....How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. So I’m calling because I was wondering what you were doing for lunch?”
“....Lunch?”
“You know, that meal between breakfast and dinner? You’re silly!”
“Yes. I am quite silly. The silliest, even. Um, I’m not doing anything for lunch. Why? What are you doing?”
“I figured we could meet up. I’m actually thinking about playing hooky for the afternoon.”
“Hooky?”
“Yea, I know, it’s naughty of me. But I’m just so excited about our plans! I mean, I really want to pick your brain about Megamind.”
“You’re excited about our plans?”
“Of course! So how about we get together for something to eat. Ever been to that little bistro on Main and 2nd? Trattoria’s?”
“...No.”
“Really? Huh. Most people have been there. It’s pretty well known in the city.”
“I don’t get out much.”
“Ah, well then let me be your guide to Metro City! I’ll show you all the best hot spots.”
“Hot.... spots?”
“Sure! We can explore them all together. It’ll be exciting. I’ll show you everything I know. It pays to be friends with a professional like me.”
“Hot spots do sound very exciting...”
“Are you ok Bernard? You sound a little winded.”
“OH! Sorry! I was... Speed-walking again.”
“Ah, you and your speed-walking. Well, speed-walk your way to Trattoria’s for 12:30? My treat.”
“Yes, Ok! 12:30.”
“Ok, see you soon Bernard!”
“See you soon Roxanne.”
Click.
Sigh.
“Sir...? What was that?”
Megamind jumped three feet out of his chair where he’d dreamily been slumped, a guttural shout of nonsense syllables escaping his lips. He whipped around to see Minion towering over him, hands on his metal hips, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Megamind clutched the small flip-up cell phone protectively to his chest.
“NOTHING! It was nothing,” he replied back shakily, his heart pounding in the cage of his chest and he tried to regain composure. How did such a giant robot sneak up on him so quickly?
“Was that Miss Ritchi?”
“...Maybe.”
“Sir, I never asked before... but where did you get that cell phone?”
“Nowhere!”
“It must have come from somewhere, sir.”
“It’s none of your business, Minion! I’m the Evil Overlord of Metrocity! I’m allowed to have things too, you know. Like this cell phone. It’s mine.” He gripped it a bit more tightly, curling his fists around its silver casing, attempting to fix the towering Minion with a death glare. “I stole it,” he added for good measure to remind the fish he was evil. This fact was true in essence, since he had taken the phone from this Bernard character. He’d also stolen his glasses, and his identity, and had the man de-hydrated somewhere in the lair.
“... Well, alright sir. You are the boss. I’m just... wondering how you having lunch with Miss Ritchi will work out.”
“You were listening in on my VERY private, VERY important phone call!” Megamind accused, pointing a finger at Minion’s head, so the fish had to go cross eyed to view the digit.
“It’s hard not to, sir. It’s not like we get phone calls very often.”
“I got the phone call. Not WE. Me. My phone, remember?” Megamind corrected the fish while waggling the phone in front of his tank. The fish tracked it with his eyes, narrowing them and pressing his face against the glass as if to try and analyze the piece of technology. Worried he might find something out, Megamind snatched the thing back and shoved it into his belt as he quickly pushed himself up from his chair to stalk away into the rest of the evil lair. He could hear Minion’s heavy metal footsteps following him.
“Sir, I was just wondering about how you’ll appear before her. Are you using a disguise?”
“Are you using a disguise?” Megamind stopped in mid stride and imitated Minion in a high, nasally voice, bending at the knees and flapping his hands at either side of his head like extra mouths in mockery. He then turned quickly to frown at his companion. “Of course I’m using a disguise! Do you think she would eat lunch with me like this?” he asked, gesturing to himself, clad as he was in the tight, form fitting black suit, the blue outlined lightning bolt travelling down his chest to outline his thighs. A studded belt wrapped around his thin hips, while bicep high gloves, and spiked shin guards added an extra menacing touch.
“No sir,” Minion replied without hesitation. Megamind gave him a flat glare. “I mean... maybe?”
Megamind snarled in frustration and turned around with another flourish of his cape, going back to stalking through the large expanse of the warehouse, his thick soled boots clomping as he went. Minion followed.
“Look, sir. I’m just wondering about Hal Stewart, and all. I mean, don’t we need to go and train him? He’s not ready to be your arch nemesis until we give him the proper instruction, like you planned,” the fish added with a flutter of his fins, motioning to the ideas that turned and moved in the stale breeze above them. Hanging from hundreds of red strings of yarn, the evil mastermind had turned the ceiling into a mosaic of paper, post-it notes, pictures and schematics. Chalkboards, whiteboards, and drafting tables were lined with equations and hastily drawn sketches, and Megamind glanced around himself at the organized chaos his mind created to map out his ideas. He walked forward to view the clouds of ideas held up by bulldog clips, tape, wooden laundry pins, paper clips and simple holes punched through the paper for the string to be tied through. He paused to set his hand briefly on a mannequin body that stood off to the side, draped in white, red and shimmering orange-gold fabric, a flame design sketched onto a post-it and hastily tacked to the collarbone of the cotton body-stand.
Hal Stewart. The new Metro Man. The way to bring back Megamind’s sense of purpose. It had gone so well yesterday. The shot that had fired out from the Infusor Gun had struck the unwitting camera man, and within hours, the powers manifested themselves. He turned from the over-weight red-haired man into a muscled, flying superhero right before their eyes. And Megamind couldn’t have asked for a better subject. Maybe someone a little more intelligent would have been a plus, but his dimwittedness served a purpose too. One clever disguise, and one fantastic accent (if Megamind said so himself), and Hal was eager to believe that he had a Space Dad as he called it, willing to teach him the ways of Super Hero-dom. And Megamind was perfect for the job.
After all, he knew everything about Metro Man. He knew what it would take to become a superhero. Who better to train the new protector of Metro City than the one who was always fighting to take it over? But the boy needed a lot of work. Weeks, even, of preparation. Megamind could wait. He was patient. Most of the time.
All of this was carefully mapped out in the hanging bits of paper above his large head. But try as he might, looking from one scrap to the other, from one board to the other, he couldn’t find any mention of Roxanne Ritchi in all of this. And that meant, neither could Minion. He could see why the alien fish was wary about the lunch date (his heart pattered at the phrase). Why was he going on this excursion to eat lunch with Roxanne? Sure, he had used the disguise of Bernard out of desperation for the past two times. But now, couldn’t he just let Bernard disappear off the face of the Earth? Never answer the phone that nestled against his hip, reminding him with its weight. She’d wonder where the man was, but it wasn’t like anything bad could happen. Bernard would magically go away, and Roxanne would be alone at that restaurant, staring around herself while she sat at an empty table, until a soft sigh escaped her lips and her eyes became downcast.
No. If everything was to go according to plan, she needed to be happy. It all made perfect sense. The new her, meaning the sad one that didn’t bother to touch her hair, was very bad at reporting. She was depressing, dismal, and teary eyed on camera. Just as he had once found her hair-touching tic a distraction, so was this morose Roxanne. The old Roxanne, the perfect one, touched her hair and smiled and was snarky and fiery into the camera. She was entertaining, full of life, and brimming with confidence. That Roxanne had briefly risen to life again, as if from the ashes, and had hugged him just yesterday. Hugged HIM. She had said he inspired her.
Therefore, if he wanted to have his battle with Hal Stewart (and the superhero he was to become) to be broadcast in a thrilling, epic way, then he needed the old Roxanne back. He needed her to be ready with her microphone and camera, reporting on the fantastic battle between Megamind and the new superhero. And right now, the only thing fanning the flames of her personality was him, as Bernard, going to lunch with her. If he continued to go to lunch with her, and inspire her, and take her phone calls, and be available for her every waking hour of the day, she would steadily rise back up to where she’d once been; feisty and perfect. So, ipso facto, he had a duty to date the hell out of her.
“Everything will go according to plan,” he said with a slowly growing grin, staring up at the pieces of paper, grabbing one and tugging it down in his fingers. “We will train this Hal Stewart to be just like Metro Man. Don’t concern yourself with any thoughts otherwise.”
“Yes sir,” Minion replied, blinking his brown eyes at his master, though his expression looked a little distrusting.
“As for Roxanne Ritchi, it is all part of my larger plan,” he went on, without looking at his companion as he quickly threw the paper to the ground and instead rushed to vault perfectly over a stool by performing the splits, thin gangly legs flying out to either side before landing back on his feet again in front a stack of papers leaning against the wall. With gusto, he began to tear through the pile, causing it to fall over and spill with a slap of paper and newsprint against concrete. His arms pin-wheeled, hurling pages and whole newspapers, books and magazines over his shoulders and the fish ducked down in his tank as one flapped suddenly against his glass dome. Minion carefully side stepped another batch of newsprint while peeling the pages off of his ‘face’, glancing down at it with some concern.
“Really sir.” Minion did not sound convinced in the least.
“Of course it is! Why else would I disguise myself to eat lunch with her?” Megamind continued, giving a shout of victory as he raised a newspaper high in the air above his head. He madly began to leaf through it, tearing pages off in his excitement.
“I don’t know sir.”
“Exactly! You don’t know because you’re the minion. I’m the one with the big ideas.” Finally finding the page he wanted, he ripped it out with a satisfying sound, and then carefully folded it, tongue sticking out between his teeth with all the concentration he could muster. Holding his handy work out at arm’s length, he beamed with pride, before rushing over once again to where he had pulled down the scrap of paper from his idea collage that dangled above their heads.
Minion stared blankly as he watched his master then put this news paper clipping into the spot the original piece had been. Standing back, Megamind sighed as if in relief, crossing his arms over his chest with a smug expression. Minion just screwed up his face in a look of consternated confusion.
“Everything will be perfect,” the evil genius purred with contentment, as they both stared at the clipping, a shot of Roxanne Ritchi holding a microphone out at arm’s length toward Metro Man, who was holding Megamind in his left hand by the back of his cape. But the page had been folded, so that Metro Man was gone from the image, and Megamind and Roxanne’s images were lined up, her microphone aiming at him instead.
“... If you say so sir.”
“I do!” he replied back with vehemence and then turned sharply on his heel to march with great purpose, oblivious to the feel of Minion’s stare on his back.
He hardly gave the fish a second thought, as a short time later he had more important things to ponder. Such as whether or not his disguise generator was still working. Standing outside of the restaurant that Roxanne had chosen, Megamind twitched visibly, glaring as Bernard at everyone that passed by. His posture was as rigid as the building he had his back pressed against, his eyes wide and partially fearful as they darted to follow the movement of a woman and a stroller that rolled past him. He held his breath each time someone passed and watched them with shifting eyes as if expecting they would whip around and scream that a blue alien was standing outside of a popular bistro in downtown Metro City. But no one did, because the disguise generator showed them a lanky brunette male with glasses, whom they took as being just another regular citizen.
The city seemed to have slowly peeked its head out from whatever it had been hiding under since he took over. People were finally beginning to mill around in the streets again, as he hadn’t shown much of his face to threaten anyone since his first weeks of toying around and causing mayhem. They were lulled into a sense of false security due to his lack of public appearances since then, although a good amount of the businesses centered around the City Hall were still closed, his own graffiti marring their windows and awnings. But this part of the metropolis was further from the City Hall, and he hadn’t gotten around to destroying this area. So people seemed a bit braver, and were carrying on with their lives as best they could. He could still hear snippets of conversation about the Banks being closed, about the law enforcement being useless in stopping the growing crime in lower income areas, and overall complaints since his reign began, from passersby. But he tried to ignore their words and focus on waiting.
His arms were stiff against his sides, finger tips drumming against his thighs nervously. He worried his lower lip under his teeth and hastily gave a quick look down to his watch, always careful not to touch the thing in case his fingers slipped on the dial and he de-activated the disguise generator on accident. She was six minutes late.
He’d arrived quite early, he knew, but he hated tardiness. He could be fairly patient in waiting for someone, if the need arose. Sometimes Metro Man took some extra time (or HAD taken some extra time, when he’d been alive) to get to wherever Megamind was causing destruction due to other hero obligations. And Megamind took it all in stride like a true professional. But he himself was never late. He tried not to keep people waiting. It was just rude. Not that Roxanne was being rude. He was sure she had a good reason to be late. Maybe she couldn’t play ‘hooky’ and had to work longer. But she’d call if that was the case. He pulled out the phone and eyed the little indicator of power resources in the top corner. The little battery shaped symbol seemed full. He had ‘all his bars’, as he’d learned after doing extensive research on cell phones, their operation, and proper etiquette (He was also well versed in emoticons and actually looked forward to when he could show his new prowess off to Roxanne. He was gonna impress the hell out of her with his smiley faces). This meant he had full signal in the city core and should be able to receive a call without problem.
Maybe her phone was dead.
Maybe SHE was dead.
His throat went dry and he shoved the phone back into Bernard’s pants pocket with a shaking hand. Maybe there was some other evil villain out there that had captured her and there was no Metro Man to save her. Another villain might not take the care that he had always shown for her safety. He felt a bit sick at imagining her tied up by someone other than himself; of someone putting a bag over her head with the intention of doing more than just scaring her.
“Bernard!” a voice suddenly shook him out of his gruesome thought process and instinctively he dropped into a battle ready stance, hand jolting to his right hip where his De-Gun holster was normally bouncing against his thigh. As Bernard, there was no gun there, and he simply ended up aiming an imaginary gun at Roxanne while she blinked, looking down at his hand that clutched air, with one eyebrow raised curiously.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said, drawing out the sentence unsurely while giving him a sceptical look. He hurriedly stood normal, trying to hide the gun-pointing gesture by carrying on the movement and forcing his hand up to run through his hair awkwardly. Hair felt weird against his fingers, even if it was holographic. Just knowing he was appearing like he was touching the strands made him shiver.
“Ah! Roxanne! Hi. Sorry! I mean, no problem. Right?” He was acting like an idiot and could hardly stop the bubble of words that erupted from his lips, his heart beating frantically in his chest. She graced him with a tiny half smile that made her eyes crinkle around the edges.
“Been waiting long?” she asked.
“Ye-NO. Not at all. How are you?”
“Tired,” she admitted in a rare show of weakness, her facial expression falling so he saw the fatigue around her face, and up close now, he struggled to reign in his reaction to her appearance. Her makeup was lazy at best, not her usual calibre, and though her coat was buttoned up and he couldn’t tell what she was wearing, her more casual sneakers let him know it wasn’t a proper reporter outfit. And it didn’t look like she’d done anything to her hair that morning, as there was even a small portion near the crown of her head that curled unnaturally to the rest. But she was already making her way toward the door to the restaurant, so Megamind dashed to grab the door for her, holding it open while she passed and he could lean in to investigate the odd swirl of hair at the back of her hair. Very curious. He had to urge to try and put it the way it should be and he frowned.
“Tired? Why are you tired?” he asked after he quickly pulled a chair out for her once they were shown to a table, and after he’d glared pointedly at the smarmy looking waiter who’d attempted to say something about her being the famous Roxanne Ritchi. The man hurried off with the phrase still on his lips, sending Bernard a wary glance after the death stare he’d been giving. Megamind switched his expression back to concern when looking at Roxanne.
“Ah, just a long day. Haven’t slept well. You know how it goes,” she replied in an offhand way, raising her menu to peruse the selection of food. Megamind didn’t even touch the menu in front of him, not even really taking in the cafe atmosphere around them, although he was aware of the hiss of a coffee machine, the chatter of flowing conversation, and the clink of silverware on plates.
“Why didn’t you sleep?” he asked, tilting his head. He often didn’t sleep, but that was different. He had so many ideas running through his head that he wasn’t allowed to sleep until they were transferred to paper. But what about her?
“How can I sleep Bernard? When the entire city is ruled by HIM,” she snapped now, her mouth turning down into a frown, and finally Megamind had a mind to look at the choices on the menu in front of him, heat rising in his collar.
“Oh.”
“I mean, now he’s just disappeared! He’s not even caring what happens to the city! People are suffering,” she offered with sadness in her voice before an exhausted sigh escaped her lips that seemed pale without any colour on them. Oh why was she so dishevelled! It made things so hard to concentrate on when his mind kept making observations and comparisons to how she used to be. He had no real working knowledge of fixing up make-up or hair, its purpose, or how she did it. All he knew was the effect of when she didn’t; her emotions were racing across her face without any buffer for him. It was like a tidal wave of feelings crashing against him, and there was no dam or levee to help ease the flow.
“It’s like he’s toying with us. He destroys part of the city, shuts down all of the major services like banks and sanitation, and the police, and the local government! Crime is worse than ever with Metro Man gone anyways, but now we don’t even have emergency services. And he even took all the paintings from the gallery and ransacked the museums! What purpose could that even serve for him? Priceless pieces of art are all gone because of his selfish desire to cause havoc!” She slammed her fists against the table, making their silverware jump and clatter. Heads turned to view her, and Megamind tried to make a soothing motion with his hands, nervously looking at the others that were staring at them.
“N-now, just calm down,” he tried softly, and she heaved a sigh, oblivious to the onlookers.
“And all I do, all day long, is research and write and read about all he’s doing so I can report it to the city. I can’t escape it when I’m at work, and I can’t escape it when I’m at home. I’m always reminded about how awful things are now that Metro Man is gone,” she half whispered and Megamind had to busy himself with lining up his cutlery and plate exactly as they should be, so he didn’t have to look at her face while she spoke. He cleared his throat after a long moment.
“Yes... it is worse with him gone,” he offered quietly, smoothing the table cloth in front of him gently, sighing as well and letting his shoulders sag. “I don’t think Megamind realized... how different things would be once Metro Man was gone.”
“He never really thinks things through, does he?” Roxanne said with an unhappy smile, and she then gave a dry laugh, raking her hands through her hair so it looked worse than it had before. Still with fingers tangled in her tresses, she leaned that arm’s elbow on the table and gazed at him with a tilted head.
“I’m not being a very good lunch date, am I?”
“No! No it’s fine. If you’re upset, it’s good to talk. Minio- I mean, my... friend told me that.”
“Your friend may be right, but it’s not very polite of me.”
“It’s OK Roxanne,” he said with a hopeful smile on his face. “I like hearing you talk.” There was a tenderness in his voice he didn’t quite recognize himself.
“Thanks Bernard. It’s nice to have someone to vent to. Especially when I know we can do something about all of this.”
Megamind’s tenderness disappeared, replaced with caution, narrowing his eyes a fraction and opening his mouth to respond, but soon the waiter came back (giving Roxanne a good amount of room this time) and took their orders. He simply ordered the exact same as her for simplicity’s sake and to get the waiter to leave quicker.
“What can we do about all of this?” he finally was able to ask once they had water. Roxanne took a fortifying sip of the icy liquid and smirked a little bit.
“Well, with your knowledge of Megamind, we can start to do some investigating. If I know Megamind, and after being kidnapped by him so many times I think I know him fairly well, he’s got to be planning something BIG to terrorize the city with.”
“Really?” Megamind choked on the water he’d been drinking, coughing into his hand mightily. He wasn’t sure which was more disturbing; that Roxanne thought she knew him, or that she was expecting him to terrorize the city in some grand way, when he had no real plans to do anything of the sort at the moment.
“Yes! I mean, he’s practically gone into hiding. He always does that before he unleashes something big! So you and I need to start nosing around to find out what it is, and STOP it!”
“Wow. That sounds... difficult,” he grumbled, sweating in his seat and he adjusted the collar of the turtleneck anxiously, to let more air reach his heated skin.
“Maybe a little bit... We’ll have to really put some man hours into this I imagine. We’ll have to spend a lot of time together so we can discuss things. Do you think that will be ok? I know the renovations on the Museum must make you really busy.”
“Museum?” he asked blankly, his mind still too caught on the whole ‘spend a lot of time together’ part of her statement to recognize that as Bernard, he was supposed to be the curator of the Metro Man Museum. Shaking his head violently as if to jumble his thoughts back the way they should be, he scratched his chin thoughtfully. It felt odd having no line of hair there, but the motion gave him time to think and arrange his thoughts properly.
“Oh yes, the Museum. Well, after having the walls and... ceiling... removed... I have some free time actually. A lot. A lot of free time. So I can meet you whenever you like. Any time.” He said that maybe a little too quickly, too hopefully, and he feared she might catch the excitement in his voice. And his earnest commitment to the fact that if she called him at any time of day or night, he’d be out the door before she’d finished the sentence. But she seemed to find the comment acceptable and her eyes lit up with something akin to happiness.
“Really?” she said, seeming happy about this, and little butterflies came to life in his stomach. Their food arrived and he didn’t even look down at it, as he was so focussed on her pleased expression. “That’s great!”
“Yes, it is.”
“So,” she began, first reaching and smoothing her hair down at the back of her hair, effectively taming the curling section he had seen earlier. A smile bloomed on his face madly.
Raising her fork and knife to begin to eat, she progressively became more animated as she started to talk.
“I think we should begin by doing research. I know there’s a bunch of really good books at the library about Megamind that we can use. I’ve already read them all, but it can’t hurt to review, right?”
“Hmm,” he replied with a noncommittal noise, too busy smiling to himself and watching her eat to say anything more, but her excitement was great enough to barely even need his input. And his excitement was too great for him to be able to form intelligent words.
First of all, she’d fixed her hair, which was one step away from a bang-flick, and that made him want to sigh dreamily and stare at her like a love-sick teenager. Secondly, she’d read books on him. Pride swelled in his chest and he felt red creeping up his neck and ears with joy at her interest in him. He conveniently chose to ignore the fact she read the books as part of her job and for the intent of bringing him to justice versus genuine interest in him as a person. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.
She continued to talk and eat and eat and talk, her colour returning and her eyes brightening. He was right - this plan would work. If he continued to be around her and inspire her, she’d return to the way she was. She’d already fixed her hair at least a little bit within half an hour of his company. This would work. And it only required a slight sacrifice of time on his behalf. One he was happy to make.
And for the next several weeks, he made that sacrifice again and again. Quite willingly. And the results were almost instantaneous.
“But before I could tell him he had misaligned the wires, my assistant turned it on,” he was saying at their next meeting at the local library, leaning forward over the table expectantly. Roxanne sat on the other side, gripping her sides with one arm, while her free hand was slapped across her mouth, trying in vain to stifle the fit of giggles that was erupting out of her lips. “So he turns on the machine, and temporarily disrupts power to the entire Eastern grid, and we end up missing the show anyways!” he grinned as he finished his story, and Roxanne doubled over, snorting with laughter, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Her laughter was so contagious, he found himself laughing loudly as well, despite the ‘hushing’ noises the librarian had been giving them for the past hour.
“Oh that was such a funny story! And brilliantly told, by the way,” he giggled into his fist, referring to his own narrative about when Minion and himself had attempted to develop a video recording system that could go back in time to record a show that had already begun, as Minion had been simpering about missing some new drama he was enjoying on cable. Something about a Creek and a fellow named Crawson? Naturally, when he retold the story, he changed some facts, particularly with calling Minion a research assistant and that he, Bernard, had studied the sciences at a rather prestigious University Research Lab that Megamind had once stolen from. She seemed to buy the idea, and it made it much easier for him to tell her stories about his life without giving away too much.
“Ok! Now you tell one!” he said eagerly, shifting in his chair to lean very close, excited. She was still giggling though, eyes shimmering in the low light of the lamp at their table. A small smile curved her lips. Oh how she had improved in the short time since he’d instigated his Fix Roxanne plan. She smiled more, had put more care into her appearance, and her hair was beginning to retain its old shine again. He’d done extensive research on follicles since their day at the restaurant, and was now aware of their unique structure and what sort of care needed to go into it looking the way hers used to. It answered all his questions about why her hair had looked so dull while she was upset.
The downside to him reading up on her tresses was that he read about the fact that stress could make hair fall out. This had sent him into a tailspin of fear and anxiety. What if she became so anxious about him taking over the city, and about Metro Man’s death that her hair began to simply fall off her head in giant clumps?! He’d stayed awake for three straight days with these thoughts haunting him, staring into the darkness of the late night. He stifled a shudder at the thought and concentrated on her improvements as of late. She was by no means back to normal, but she was getting there. He’d know he made progress when she’d touch her hair again, like she had at the restaurant. That was his next marker of success.
“Bernard, I had no idea you were so funny,” she said at last, once her melodic laughter had settled. The sound made him feel warm and calm.
“And I’ve never heard you laugh before,” he confessed, and when she shyly gazed down, his heart settled into his throat. As if in slow motion, she looked up at him through the veil of her bangs, and her fingers reached up to brush them to the side.
“It’s been a while,” she said softly, and he swore that his entire body melted into the floor as relief flooded his system.
“Yea. It has,” he smiled dreamily, more referring to her involuntary tic than to her laughter, although that was a plus too. But as he buried his nose into the book about him (which was mostly wrong), he dared to peek over the top of the large volume, just to see her again, to make sure he wasn’t dreaming that she had touched her hair. Had she already reached the success marker in his experiment? So quickly too?
Reading studiously, her bangs tickled her brow again and up came her fingers, swiping the strands back and tucking a few of the longer ones behind her ear. He sighed audibly and she looked up.
“What was that?”
“NOTHING.” He thrust his whole face into the book, far too close to be actually reading any words, but it hid his growing blush at being caught. Not like he needed to read the books. It was all pretence to get her to get better, so that she could report at her best. But it made her happy to think they were working together on finding out what he, as in Megamind, had planned. And a happy Roxanne was a good reporting Roxanne.
How shocked would she be when she found out that this big plan she thought he was hatching was nothing really. Well, not anything she was expecting at least. She’d probably be more shocked to figure out who he really was beneath Bernard’s amiable face. But she’d never find out. That was the point of lying. Megamind was sure of that.
He had already set into motion the majority of his plans, and this was just another step in the greater design. And Roxanne would play her part, as she always had. And when Hal was trained, and the battle suit was built, she would be ready to report. And then, Bernard would disappear. And he’d carry on his life. Everything would be perfect.
Next Chapter
Author: jentle55
Word Count: 5,887
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some Parts are Not Canon! You are warned....
Summary: Based closely on the movie (but not really this chapter), read the story of Megamind and Roxanne's romance through his changing interpretations of Roxanne's hair.
Disclaimer: Dreamworks owns everything.
Start from the Beginning
Last Chapter
RING. Click.
“....”
“..Hello?”
“... Ollo?”
“Oh, Hi Bernard! It’s Roxanne! Sorry, I thought the line was dead when you didn’t say anything.”
“Roxanne! Oh, I’m happy to hear from you!”
“Haha, you sound like you didn’t think I would call.”
“Ye- er no. No, it’s not that. Well it is- I mean. Hmm.”
“...Are you ok? You sound nervous?”
“Who ME?! HAHAHAHA No. Not nervous at all. I’m great. FANTASTIC! ....How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. So I’m calling because I was wondering what you were doing for lunch?”
“....Lunch?”
“You know, that meal between breakfast and dinner? You’re silly!”
“Yes. I am quite silly. The silliest, even. Um, I’m not doing anything for lunch. Why? What are you doing?”
“I figured we could meet up. I’m actually thinking about playing hooky for the afternoon.”
“Hooky?”
“Yea, I know, it’s naughty of me. But I’m just so excited about our plans! I mean, I really want to pick your brain about Megamind.”
“You’re excited about our plans?”
“Of course! So how about we get together for something to eat. Ever been to that little bistro on Main and 2nd? Trattoria’s?”
“...No.”
“Really? Huh. Most people have been there. It’s pretty well known in the city.”
“I don’t get out much.”
“Ah, well then let me be your guide to Metro City! I’ll show you all the best hot spots.”
“Hot.... spots?”
“Sure! We can explore them all together. It’ll be exciting. I’ll show you everything I know. It pays to be friends with a professional like me.”
“Hot spots do sound very exciting...”
“Are you ok Bernard? You sound a little winded.”
“OH! Sorry! I was... Speed-walking again.”
“Ah, you and your speed-walking. Well, speed-walk your way to Trattoria’s for 12:30? My treat.”
“Yes, Ok! 12:30.”
“Ok, see you soon Bernard!”
“See you soon Roxanne.”
Click.
Sigh.
“Sir...? What was that?”
Megamind jumped three feet out of his chair where he’d dreamily been slumped, a guttural shout of nonsense syllables escaping his lips. He whipped around to see Minion towering over him, hands on his metal hips, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Megamind clutched the small flip-up cell phone protectively to his chest.
“NOTHING! It was nothing,” he replied back shakily, his heart pounding in the cage of his chest and he tried to regain composure. How did such a giant robot sneak up on him so quickly?
“Was that Miss Ritchi?”
“...Maybe.”
“Sir, I never asked before... but where did you get that cell phone?”
“Nowhere!”
“It must have come from somewhere, sir.”
“It’s none of your business, Minion! I’m the Evil Overlord of Metrocity! I’m allowed to have things too, you know. Like this cell phone. It’s mine.” He gripped it a bit more tightly, curling his fists around its silver casing, attempting to fix the towering Minion with a death glare. “I stole it,” he added for good measure to remind the fish he was evil. This fact was true in essence, since he had taken the phone from this Bernard character. He’d also stolen his glasses, and his identity, and had the man de-hydrated somewhere in the lair.
“... Well, alright sir. You are the boss. I’m just... wondering how you having lunch with Miss Ritchi will work out.”
“You were listening in on my VERY private, VERY important phone call!” Megamind accused, pointing a finger at Minion’s head, so the fish had to go cross eyed to view the digit.
“It’s hard not to, sir. It’s not like we get phone calls very often.”
“I got the phone call. Not WE. Me. My phone, remember?” Megamind corrected the fish while waggling the phone in front of his tank. The fish tracked it with his eyes, narrowing them and pressing his face against the glass as if to try and analyze the piece of technology. Worried he might find something out, Megamind snatched the thing back and shoved it into his belt as he quickly pushed himself up from his chair to stalk away into the rest of the evil lair. He could hear Minion’s heavy metal footsteps following him.
“Sir, I was just wondering about how you’ll appear before her. Are you using a disguise?”
“Are you using a disguise?” Megamind stopped in mid stride and imitated Minion in a high, nasally voice, bending at the knees and flapping his hands at either side of his head like extra mouths in mockery. He then turned quickly to frown at his companion. “Of course I’m using a disguise! Do you think she would eat lunch with me like this?” he asked, gesturing to himself, clad as he was in the tight, form fitting black suit, the blue outlined lightning bolt travelling down his chest to outline his thighs. A studded belt wrapped around his thin hips, while bicep high gloves, and spiked shin guards added an extra menacing touch.
“No sir,” Minion replied without hesitation. Megamind gave him a flat glare. “I mean... maybe?”
Megamind snarled in frustration and turned around with another flourish of his cape, going back to stalking through the large expanse of the warehouse, his thick soled boots clomping as he went. Minion followed.
“Look, sir. I’m just wondering about Hal Stewart, and all. I mean, don’t we need to go and train him? He’s not ready to be your arch nemesis until we give him the proper instruction, like you planned,” the fish added with a flutter of his fins, motioning to the ideas that turned and moved in the stale breeze above them. Hanging from hundreds of red strings of yarn, the evil mastermind had turned the ceiling into a mosaic of paper, post-it notes, pictures and schematics. Chalkboards, whiteboards, and drafting tables were lined with equations and hastily drawn sketches, and Megamind glanced around himself at the organized chaos his mind created to map out his ideas. He walked forward to view the clouds of ideas held up by bulldog clips, tape, wooden laundry pins, paper clips and simple holes punched through the paper for the string to be tied through. He paused to set his hand briefly on a mannequin body that stood off to the side, draped in white, red and shimmering orange-gold fabric, a flame design sketched onto a post-it and hastily tacked to the collarbone of the cotton body-stand.
Hal Stewart. The new Metro Man. The way to bring back Megamind’s sense of purpose. It had gone so well yesterday. The shot that had fired out from the Infusor Gun had struck the unwitting camera man, and within hours, the powers manifested themselves. He turned from the over-weight red-haired man into a muscled, flying superhero right before their eyes. And Megamind couldn’t have asked for a better subject. Maybe someone a little more intelligent would have been a plus, but his dimwittedness served a purpose too. One clever disguise, and one fantastic accent (if Megamind said so himself), and Hal was eager to believe that he had a Space Dad as he called it, willing to teach him the ways of Super Hero-dom. And Megamind was perfect for the job.
After all, he knew everything about Metro Man. He knew what it would take to become a superhero. Who better to train the new protector of Metro City than the one who was always fighting to take it over? But the boy needed a lot of work. Weeks, even, of preparation. Megamind could wait. He was patient. Most of the time.
All of this was carefully mapped out in the hanging bits of paper above his large head. But try as he might, looking from one scrap to the other, from one board to the other, he couldn’t find any mention of Roxanne Ritchi in all of this. And that meant, neither could Minion. He could see why the alien fish was wary about the lunch date (his heart pattered at the phrase). Why was he going on this excursion to eat lunch with Roxanne? Sure, he had used the disguise of Bernard out of desperation for the past two times. But now, couldn’t he just let Bernard disappear off the face of the Earth? Never answer the phone that nestled against his hip, reminding him with its weight. She’d wonder where the man was, but it wasn’t like anything bad could happen. Bernard would magically go away, and Roxanne would be alone at that restaurant, staring around herself while she sat at an empty table, until a soft sigh escaped her lips and her eyes became downcast.
No. If everything was to go according to plan, she needed to be happy. It all made perfect sense. The new her, meaning the sad one that didn’t bother to touch her hair, was very bad at reporting. She was depressing, dismal, and teary eyed on camera. Just as he had once found her hair-touching tic a distraction, so was this morose Roxanne. The old Roxanne, the perfect one, touched her hair and smiled and was snarky and fiery into the camera. She was entertaining, full of life, and brimming with confidence. That Roxanne had briefly risen to life again, as if from the ashes, and had hugged him just yesterday. Hugged HIM. She had said he inspired her.
Therefore, if he wanted to have his battle with Hal Stewart (and the superhero he was to become) to be broadcast in a thrilling, epic way, then he needed the old Roxanne back. He needed her to be ready with her microphone and camera, reporting on the fantastic battle between Megamind and the new superhero. And right now, the only thing fanning the flames of her personality was him, as Bernard, going to lunch with her. If he continued to go to lunch with her, and inspire her, and take her phone calls, and be available for her every waking hour of the day, she would steadily rise back up to where she’d once been; feisty and perfect. So, ipso facto, he had a duty to date the hell out of her.
“Everything will go according to plan,” he said with a slowly growing grin, staring up at the pieces of paper, grabbing one and tugging it down in his fingers. “We will train this Hal Stewart to be just like Metro Man. Don’t concern yourself with any thoughts otherwise.”
“Yes sir,” Minion replied, blinking his brown eyes at his master, though his expression looked a little distrusting.
“As for Roxanne Ritchi, it is all part of my larger plan,” he went on, without looking at his companion as he quickly threw the paper to the ground and instead rushed to vault perfectly over a stool by performing the splits, thin gangly legs flying out to either side before landing back on his feet again in front a stack of papers leaning against the wall. With gusto, he began to tear through the pile, causing it to fall over and spill with a slap of paper and newsprint against concrete. His arms pin-wheeled, hurling pages and whole newspapers, books and magazines over his shoulders and the fish ducked down in his tank as one flapped suddenly against his glass dome. Minion carefully side stepped another batch of newsprint while peeling the pages off of his ‘face’, glancing down at it with some concern.
“Really sir.” Minion did not sound convinced in the least.
“Of course it is! Why else would I disguise myself to eat lunch with her?” Megamind continued, giving a shout of victory as he raised a newspaper high in the air above his head. He madly began to leaf through it, tearing pages off in his excitement.
“I don’t know sir.”
“Exactly! You don’t know because you’re the minion. I’m the one with the big ideas.” Finally finding the page he wanted, he ripped it out with a satisfying sound, and then carefully folded it, tongue sticking out between his teeth with all the concentration he could muster. Holding his handy work out at arm’s length, he beamed with pride, before rushing over once again to where he had pulled down the scrap of paper from his idea collage that dangled above their heads.
Minion stared blankly as he watched his master then put this news paper clipping into the spot the original piece had been. Standing back, Megamind sighed as if in relief, crossing his arms over his chest with a smug expression. Minion just screwed up his face in a look of consternated confusion.
“Everything will be perfect,” the evil genius purred with contentment, as they both stared at the clipping, a shot of Roxanne Ritchi holding a microphone out at arm’s length toward Metro Man, who was holding Megamind in his left hand by the back of his cape. But the page had been folded, so that Metro Man was gone from the image, and Megamind and Roxanne’s images were lined up, her microphone aiming at him instead.
“... If you say so sir.”
“I do!” he replied back with vehemence and then turned sharply on his heel to march with great purpose, oblivious to the feel of Minion’s stare on his back.
He hardly gave the fish a second thought, as a short time later he had more important things to ponder. Such as whether or not his disguise generator was still working. Standing outside of the restaurant that Roxanne had chosen, Megamind twitched visibly, glaring as Bernard at everyone that passed by. His posture was as rigid as the building he had his back pressed against, his eyes wide and partially fearful as they darted to follow the movement of a woman and a stroller that rolled past him. He held his breath each time someone passed and watched them with shifting eyes as if expecting they would whip around and scream that a blue alien was standing outside of a popular bistro in downtown Metro City. But no one did, because the disguise generator showed them a lanky brunette male with glasses, whom they took as being just another regular citizen.
The city seemed to have slowly peeked its head out from whatever it had been hiding under since he took over. People were finally beginning to mill around in the streets again, as he hadn’t shown much of his face to threaten anyone since his first weeks of toying around and causing mayhem. They were lulled into a sense of false security due to his lack of public appearances since then, although a good amount of the businesses centered around the City Hall were still closed, his own graffiti marring their windows and awnings. But this part of the metropolis was further from the City Hall, and he hadn’t gotten around to destroying this area. So people seemed a bit braver, and were carrying on with their lives as best they could. He could still hear snippets of conversation about the Banks being closed, about the law enforcement being useless in stopping the growing crime in lower income areas, and overall complaints since his reign began, from passersby. But he tried to ignore their words and focus on waiting.
His arms were stiff against his sides, finger tips drumming against his thighs nervously. He worried his lower lip under his teeth and hastily gave a quick look down to his watch, always careful not to touch the thing in case his fingers slipped on the dial and he de-activated the disguise generator on accident. She was six minutes late.
He’d arrived quite early, he knew, but he hated tardiness. He could be fairly patient in waiting for someone, if the need arose. Sometimes Metro Man took some extra time (or HAD taken some extra time, when he’d been alive) to get to wherever Megamind was causing destruction due to other hero obligations. And Megamind took it all in stride like a true professional. But he himself was never late. He tried not to keep people waiting. It was just rude. Not that Roxanne was being rude. He was sure she had a good reason to be late. Maybe she couldn’t play ‘hooky’ and had to work longer. But she’d call if that was the case. He pulled out the phone and eyed the little indicator of power resources in the top corner. The little battery shaped symbol seemed full. He had ‘all his bars’, as he’d learned after doing extensive research on cell phones, their operation, and proper etiquette (He was also well versed in emoticons and actually looked forward to when he could show his new prowess off to Roxanne. He was gonna impress the hell out of her with his smiley faces). This meant he had full signal in the city core and should be able to receive a call without problem.
Maybe her phone was dead.
Maybe SHE was dead.
His throat went dry and he shoved the phone back into Bernard’s pants pocket with a shaking hand. Maybe there was some other evil villain out there that had captured her and there was no Metro Man to save her. Another villain might not take the care that he had always shown for her safety. He felt a bit sick at imagining her tied up by someone other than himself; of someone putting a bag over her head with the intention of doing more than just scaring her.
“Bernard!” a voice suddenly shook him out of his gruesome thought process and instinctively he dropped into a battle ready stance, hand jolting to his right hip where his De-Gun holster was normally bouncing against his thigh. As Bernard, there was no gun there, and he simply ended up aiming an imaginary gun at Roxanne while she blinked, looking down at his hand that clutched air, with one eyebrow raised curiously.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said, drawing out the sentence unsurely while giving him a sceptical look. He hurriedly stood normal, trying to hide the gun-pointing gesture by carrying on the movement and forcing his hand up to run through his hair awkwardly. Hair felt weird against his fingers, even if it was holographic. Just knowing he was appearing like he was touching the strands made him shiver.
“Ah! Roxanne! Hi. Sorry! I mean, no problem. Right?” He was acting like an idiot and could hardly stop the bubble of words that erupted from his lips, his heart beating frantically in his chest. She graced him with a tiny half smile that made her eyes crinkle around the edges.
“Been waiting long?” she asked.
“Ye-NO. Not at all. How are you?”
“Tired,” she admitted in a rare show of weakness, her facial expression falling so he saw the fatigue around her face, and up close now, he struggled to reign in his reaction to her appearance. Her makeup was lazy at best, not her usual calibre, and though her coat was buttoned up and he couldn’t tell what she was wearing, her more casual sneakers let him know it wasn’t a proper reporter outfit. And it didn’t look like she’d done anything to her hair that morning, as there was even a small portion near the crown of her head that curled unnaturally to the rest. But she was already making her way toward the door to the restaurant, so Megamind dashed to grab the door for her, holding it open while she passed and he could lean in to investigate the odd swirl of hair at the back of her hair. Very curious. He had to urge to try and put it the way it should be and he frowned.
“Tired? Why are you tired?” he asked after he quickly pulled a chair out for her once they were shown to a table, and after he’d glared pointedly at the smarmy looking waiter who’d attempted to say something about her being the famous Roxanne Ritchi. The man hurried off with the phrase still on his lips, sending Bernard a wary glance after the death stare he’d been giving. Megamind switched his expression back to concern when looking at Roxanne.
“Ah, just a long day. Haven’t slept well. You know how it goes,” she replied in an offhand way, raising her menu to peruse the selection of food. Megamind didn’t even touch the menu in front of him, not even really taking in the cafe atmosphere around them, although he was aware of the hiss of a coffee machine, the chatter of flowing conversation, and the clink of silverware on plates.
“Why didn’t you sleep?” he asked, tilting his head. He often didn’t sleep, but that was different. He had so many ideas running through his head that he wasn’t allowed to sleep until they were transferred to paper. But what about her?
“How can I sleep Bernard? When the entire city is ruled by HIM,” she snapped now, her mouth turning down into a frown, and finally Megamind had a mind to look at the choices on the menu in front of him, heat rising in his collar.
“Oh.”
“I mean, now he’s just disappeared! He’s not even caring what happens to the city! People are suffering,” she offered with sadness in her voice before an exhausted sigh escaped her lips that seemed pale without any colour on them. Oh why was she so dishevelled! It made things so hard to concentrate on when his mind kept making observations and comparisons to how she used to be. He had no real working knowledge of fixing up make-up or hair, its purpose, or how she did it. All he knew was the effect of when she didn’t; her emotions were racing across her face without any buffer for him. It was like a tidal wave of feelings crashing against him, and there was no dam or levee to help ease the flow.
“It’s like he’s toying with us. He destroys part of the city, shuts down all of the major services like banks and sanitation, and the police, and the local government! Crime is worse than ever with Metro Man gone anyways, but now we don’t even have emergency services. And he even took all the paintings from the gallery and ransacked the museums! What purpose could that even serve for him? Priceless pieces of art are all gone because of his selfish desire to cause havoc!” She slammed her fists against the table, making their silverware jump and clatter. Heads turned to view her, and Megamind tried to make a soothing motion with his hands, nervously looking at the others that were staring at them.
“N-now, just calm down,” he tried softly, and she heaved a sigh, oblivious to the onlookers.
“And all I do, all day long, is research and write and read about all he’s doing so I can report it to the city. I can’t escape it when I’m at work, and I can’t escape it when I’m at home. I’m always reminded about how awful things are now that Metro Man is gone,” she half whispered and Megamind had to busy himself with lining up his cutlery and plate exactly as they should be, so he didn’t have to look at her face while she spoke. He cleared his throat after a long moment.
“Yes... it is worse with him gone,” he offered quietly, smoothing the table cloth in front of him gently, sighing as well and letting his shoulders sag. “I don’t think Megamind realized... how different things would be once Metro Man was gone.”
“He never really thinks things through, does he?” Roxanne said with an unhappy smile, and she then gave a dry laugh, raking her hands through her hair so it looked worse than it had before. Still with fingers tangled in her tresses, she leaned that arm’s elbow on the table and gazed at him with a tilted head.
“I’m not being a very good lunch date, am I?”
“No! No it’s fine. If you’re upset, it’s good to talk. Minio- I mean, my... friend told me that.”
“Your friend may be right, but it’s not very polite of me.”
“It’s OK Roxanne,” he said with a hopeful smile on his face. “I like hearing you talk.” There was a tenderness in his voice he didn’t quite recognize himself.
“Thanks Bernard. It’s nice to have someone to vent to. Especially when I know we can do something about all of this.”
Megamind’s tenderness disappeared, replaced with caution, narrowing his eyes a fraction and opening his mouth to respond, but soon the waiter came back (giving Roxanne a good amount of room this time) and took their orders. He simply ordered the exact same as her for simplicity’s sake and to get the waiter to leave quicker.
“What can we do about all of this?” he finally was able to ask once they had water. Roxanne took a fortifying sip of the icy liquid and smirked a little bit.
“Well, with your knowledge of Megamind, we can start to do some investigating. If I know Megamind, and after being kidnapped by him so many times I think I know him fairly well, he’s got to be planning something BIG to terrorize the city with.”
“Really?” Megamind choked on the water he’d been drinking, coughing into his hand mightily. He wasn’t sure which was more disturbing; that Roxanne thought she knew him, or that she was expecting him to terrorize the city in some grand way, when he had no real plans to do anything of the sort at the moment.
“Yes! I mean, he’s practically gone into hiding. He always does that before he unleashes something big! So you and I need to start nosing around to find out what it is, and STOP it!”
“Wow. That sounds... difficult,” he grumbled, sweating in his seat and he adjusted the collar of the turtleneck anxiously, to let more air reach his heated skin.
“Maybe a little bit... We’ll have to really put some man hours into this I imagine. We’ll have to spend a lot of time together so we can discuss things. Do you think that will be ok? I know the renovations on the Museum must make you really busy.”
“Museum?” he asked blankly, his mind still too caught on the whole ‘spend a lot of time together’ part of her statement to recognize that as Bernard, he was supposed to be the curator of the Metro Man Museum. Shaking his head violently as if to jumble his thoughts back the way they should be, he scratched his chin thoughtfully. It felt odd having no line of hair there, but the motion gave him time to think and arrange his thoughts properly.
“Oh yes, the Museum. Well, after having the walls and... ceiling... removed... I have some free time actually. A lot. A lot of free time. So I can meet you whenever you like. Any time.” He said that maybe a little too quickly, too hopefully, and he feared she might catch the excitement in his voice. And his earnest commitment to the fact that if she called him at any time of day or night, he’d be out the door before she’d finished the sentence. But she seemed to find the comment acceptable and her eyes lit up with something akin to happiness.
“Really?” she said, seeming happy about this, and little butterflies came to life in his stomach. Their food arrived and he didn’t even look down at it, as he was so focussed on her pleased expression. “That’s great!”
“Yes, it is.”
“So,” she began, first reaching and smoothing her hair down at the back of her hair, effectively taming the curling section he had seen earlier. A smile bloomed on his face madly.
Raising her fork and knife to begin to eat, she progressively became more animated as she started to talk.
“I think we should begin by doing research. I know there’s a bunch of really good books at the library about Megamind that we can use. I’ve already read them all, but it can’t hurt to review, right?”
“Hmm,” he replied with a noncommittal noise, too busy smiling to himself and watching her eat to say anything more, but her excitement was great enough to barely even need his input. And his excitement was too great for him to be able to form intelligent words.
First of all, she’d fixed her hair, which was one step away from a bang-flick, and that made him want to sigh dreamily and stare at her like a love-sick teenager. Secondly, she’d read books on him. Pride swelled in his chest and he felt red creeping up his neck and ears with joy at her interest in him. He conveniently chose to ignore the fact she read the books as part of her job and for the intent of bringing him to justice versus genuine interest in him as a person. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.
She continued to talk and eat and eat and talk, her colour returning and her eyes brightening. He was right - this plan would work. If he continued to be around her and inspire her, she’d return to the way she was. She’d already fixed her hair at least a little bit within half an hour of his company. This would work. And it only required a slight sacrifice of time on his behalf. One he was happy to make.
And for the next several weeks, he made that sacrifice again and again. Quite willingly. And the results were almost instantaneous.
“But before I could tell him he had misaligned the wires, my assistant turned it on,” he was saying at their next meeting at the local library, leaning forward over the table expectantly. Roxanne sat on the other side, gripping her sides with one arm, while her free hand was slapped across her mouth, trying in vain to stifle the fit of giggles that was erupting out of her lips. “So he turns on the machine, and temporarily disrupts power to the entire Eastern grid, and we end up missing the show anyways!” he grinned as he finished his story, and Roxanne doubled over, snorting with laughter, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Her laughter was so contagious, he found himself laughing loudly as well, despite the ‘hushing’ noises the librarian had been giving them for the past hour.
“Oh that was such a funny story! And brilliantly told, by the way,” he giggled into his fist, referring to his own narrative about when Minion and himself had attempted to develop a video recording system that could go back in time to record a show that had already begun, as Minion had been simpering about missing some new drama he was enjoying on cable. Something about a Creek and a fellow named Crawson? Naturally, when he retold the story, he changed some facts, particularly with calling Minion a research assistant and that he, Bernard, had studied the sciences at a rather prestigious University Research Lab that Megamind had once stolen from. She seemed to buy the idea, and it made it much easier for him to tell her stories about his life without giving away too much.
“Ok! Now you tell one!” he said eagerly, shifting in his chair to lean very close, excited. She was still giggling though, eyes shimmering in the low light of the lamp at their table. A small smile curved her lips. Oh how she had improved in the short time since he’d instigated his Fix Roxanne plan. She smiled more, had put more care into her appearance, and her hair was beginning to retain its old shine again. He’d done extensive research on follicles since their day at the restaurant, and was now aware of their unique structure and what sort of care needed to go into it looking the way hers used to. It answered all his questions about why her hair had looked so dull while she was upset.
The downside to him reading up on her tresses was that he read about the fact that stress could make hair fall out. This had sent him into a tailspin of fear and anxiety. What if she became so anxious about him taking over the city, and about Metro Man’s death that her hair began to simply fall off her head in giant clumps?! He’d stayed awake for three straight days with these thoughts haunting him, staring into the darkness of the late night. He stifled a shudder at the thought and concentrated on her improvements as of late. She was by no means back to normal, but she was getting there. He’d know he made progress when she’d touch her hair again, like she had at the restaurant. That was his next marker of success.
“Bernard, I had no idea you were so funny,” she said at last, once her melodic laughter had settled. The sound made him feel warm and calm.
“And I’ve never heard you laugh before,” he confessed, and when she shyly gazed down, his heart settled into his throat. As if in slow motion, she looked up at him through the veil of her bangs, and her fingers reached up to brush them to the side.
“It’s been a while,” she said softly, and he swore that his entire body melted into the floor as relief flooded his system.
“Yea. It has,” he smiled dreamily, more referring to her involuntary tic than to her laughter, although that was a plus too. But as he buried his nose into the book about him (which was mostly wrong), he dared to peek over the top of the large volume, just to see her again, to make sure he wasn’t dreaming that she had touched her hair. Had she already reached the success marker in his experiment? So quickly too?
Reading studiously, her bangs tickled her brow again and up came her fingers, swiping the strands back and tucking a few of the longer ones behind her ear. He sighed audibly and she looked up.
“What was that?”
“NOTHING.” He thrust his whole face into the book, far too close to be actually reading any words, but it hid his growing blush at being caught. Not like he needed to read the books. It was all pretence to get her to get better, so that she could report at her best. But it made her happy to think they were working together on finding out what he, as in Megamind, had planned. And a happy Roxanne was a good reporting Roxanne.
How shocked would she be when she found out that this big plan she thought he was hatching was nothing really. Well, not anything she was expecting at least. She’d probably be more shocked to figure out who he really was beneath Bernard’s amiable face. But she’d never find out. That was the point of lying. Megamind was sure of that.
He had already set into motion the majority of his plans, and this was just another step in the greater design. And Roxanne would play her part, as she always had. And when Hal was trained, and the battle suit was built, she would be ready to report. And then, Bernard would disappear. And he’d carry on his life. Everything would be perfect.
Next Chapter