Question Relating to Fanfic

[alpha_centari27]

:puts on anthropologist hat

Comments

[margi_lynn]

I think this might be like the stories of walking a dog as a good pick up. In reality, everyone just wants to pet your dog and ask questions and then move on, not ask you out on a date.

[atom_u_b00t]

I think, in movies and stories it´s depicted the way you described it (I´m thinking about the movie "About a boy" where the protagonist claims that the son of a friend is his own child, to be more attractive to women because of being a single dad....And he was successful at first...Btw, wonderful movie, worth to watch it.
But in real life...I remember a conversation with my boss about finding a partner, when you´re a single and 30+. He claimed, that, if you find a partner then, you usually have to get along with "brownfields" , as he called it. With this expression, he meant ex-wifes/husbands and children of the first marriages. I had the feeling, for him, it was a negative thing, to meet a new, potential partner, who is already a parent. On the other hand, I see a lot of successful examples of partnerships that are patchwork families. I think, this is `zeitgeist`. For me, as a single woman, I haven´t made experiences yet with men, who have kids. I can´t say, if they are attractive for me `because´ he has a child.

[alpha_centari27]

When I started thinking about this in passing that is kind of what I thought. If you're looking for a serious, long-term relationship WHY would you be interested in a guy who already has a kid?

To many people I think having a kid from a previous relationship is regarded as "baggage."

IDK people could maybe find it cute that a single Dad is nurturing, attentive and affectionate with his kids, but that doesn't necessarily mean that women are going to throw themselves at him and ask him for a date.

This could be a good conversation starter, but whether this leads to getting a date is unclear. It is plausible that a single Mom with a kid of her own might be drawn to this type of guy.

[mentalguru]

I think in the end people are different in what they find attractive at the end of the day. I could imagine certainly a man meeting a woman through his kid in some way. Especially if said woman had her own kid or maybe a niece/nephew of the same age- things could dtrike up from there

[cyrrus25]

My ethology prof went over a very similar question with my class together once when I was in grad school. His hypothesis was that we are all somewhat attracted (at least a little) to people because we are selecting for certain traits. Women who are attracted to the cliche young, lean guys are selecting for a partner who will have babies with similar traits. Women who are interested in older men are selecting for someone who's going to be settled, and more likely to stay and raise kids.

So I think he'd probably say that on some level, women who go all gaga for a guy with a kid are probably, at least a little, thinking "this one is already interested in raising a family. He's safe to be with. He won't leave if we have a child. He'll stay and help me."

It's funny where the monkey bits in our brains surface.

[fairest1]

If he's single with offspring, it says "Not only am I fertile, but I am capable of keeping another living being alive without assistance!" which is basically the reverse of the guy with dead houseplants in his apartment.