Fanfic: Stepping Out, Ch. 5
Title: Stepping Out, ch.5
Author: ladyspock
Word Count: 5000 (appx)
Rating: pg
Summary: Fifteen year old Megamind has had it with prison life and decides to strike out on his own. With Minion, of course.
Chapter summary: Reality sinks in. Driver's ed. Encounters with the public. Megamind becomes a man. (No, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter!)
This chapter is a longer one. Enjoy!
Author's notes: All temperatures given are in Fahrenheit. And it is a mystery to me as to why certain massive sporting goods stores have fudge shops.
If I were better organized, I would have included some author's notes at the end of the last chapter. Better late than never! The idea for the incredible shrinking cups in the warden's office came from my husband. And it was joanhello who pointed out in her story, The Overlord's Lady, that, when someone is dehydrated into a cube, it is impossible to tell which end is up. Hence one of the guards, back in chapter 4, reappears standing on his head. You should read The Overlord's Lady, if you haven't already. (No, wait, not yet! Read mine first! Come back here!)
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
"Police have released sketches of the aliens that escaped from Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted, as no current photographs exist," the anchorwoman on the TV said.
Gordon paused in the living room, his toothbrush in hand and mouth full of toothpaste. The picture on the TV screen showed a sketch of a young man who looked like a stereotypical big-headed Martian from an old sci-fi film.
"John Doe, aka Megamind, is about 5 feet 3 inches tall, has blue skin..." Gordon could almost hear the anchorwoman putting the word in italics, "...and has green eyes."
Gordon started to brush his teeth again as he walked back to the bathroom. Shouldn't think she'd have to say his eye color, Gordon thought with some amusement. The guy's blue fer cryin' out loud. As he rinsed and spat, he could hear them saying something about a ray gun, but he couldn't really hear over the sound of the water running. By the time he emerged, the morning news team had moved on to the next item. There was a camping and fishing expo at the civic center this weekend.
"Well, Stacy, looks like they're getting geared up for the big camping exhibition down there."
"That's right, Gary! I'm here live at the Metro City Civic Center with..."
Gordon turned off the television. He locked the apartment and took the stairs instead of the elevator.
The sky was still dark. Gordon had gotten up extra early on this chilly winter's day so he could get in a full three mile run before work. he was quite proud that he was keeping up with his New Year's resolution. He jogged in place for a moment, then did a few stretches. He began his run slowly.
He would run through the downtown area first, then maybe over the bridge and through the park. He thought about that newscast. He heard rumors there was an alien kept in the prison but it wasn't something he thought about too much. It was probably all nonsense, like all that stuff about that Wayne Scott kid. Gordon had seen news footage of Wayne Scott, flying around, lifting trucks with one hand. He was just waiting for the day when it was all exposed as a hoax.
He rounded the corner at Sixth Avenue. As he was jogging past Mercer's Grocery he heard a squeal of tires. He looked over his shoulder. A Ford Taurus had barely made the turn. Alarmed, Gordon backed up against the store as the car roared down the street. As it passed the store it leaped the curb, sailed into the air and impaled itself on top of a fire hydrant.
Heart pounding, Gordon ran up to the driver's door and pulled it open.
"Hey, man, are you all----GAH!" Gordon backed up so fast he tripped and fell. He stared, mouth open and eyes wide, as the blue alien lurched unsteadily out from behind the steering wheel.
"Perfectly all right," the blue man said hoarsely, staggering a bit. "That was a little better, I'd say. What do you think, Minion?"
Gordon drew in his breath sharply as the passenger door opened and some THING clambered out. At first he thought the strange man was wearing a silver helmet, but then he realized it was clear dome with a...catfish? On top of a robot body. The thing blinked at him. Ice water poured through Gordon's limbs.
The blue man said, "I think there's something wrong with the gas pedal, like the last---"
Gordon screamed. The scream came out of some ancient, primal place that had no room for logic or reason. The alien flinched back against the car and screamed. Even the thing in the dome screamed. Gordon scrabbled backwards, crab-like, then finally found his feet and ran.
Megamind, gasping, held a hand clasped to his chest and watched the man flee.
"Geez," he said weakly. "What's the matter with him?"
"I dunno," Minion said, a touch irritably. These driving lessons were taking a toll on his nerves. They'd gone through four cars and he still hadn't gotten a chance to drive. "Maybe watching a car get smashed up right in front of him got him all upset. Sir."
"Yes, I suppose so. Rather long delayed reaction, though." Megamind paused. "Seemed more like he was scared of us."
Minion sighed and looked around. There were some lights in the surrounding windows. A few more flickered on. Probably the noise from the crash woke people up.
Megamind noticed the lights too. "How far would you say it is back to the hideout?" Their current hideout was a large shed on the back lot of a gardening center, closed for the winter. It was secluded and well-hidden, and had the added benefits of being dark, dirty, and freezing.
"About twenty blocks."
Megamind kicked at one of the tires. Driving shouldn't be so difficult. He'd seen enough movies and TV shows to know how it was done, and Scunner taught him that all you needed was a screwdriver and a cordless drill to get most vehicles started. The hot-wiring lessons were done on the sly; many of the prisoners disapproved of such a young kid learning the tricks of the trade. Starting a car turned out to be entirely different from actually moving it down the street.
A cab drove past. Megamind scowled as the cab drew level, and then the cab went on its way at a rather faster pace. Megamind narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.
"Sir, it's getting late."
Megamind glanced at him, then turned to look after the cab again, disappearing around the corner.
"Very well, Minion. Time to retire."
A Chevy Impala was parked nearby. Megamind pulled out the tools from the backpack. Then, because time was pressing, Minion smashed the Chevy's window and Megamind got to work.
--------
One of the many things Megamind learned over the course of their first days of freedom was that walking sucked. The blocks and the miles stretched out before them and ate up their precious time. Their attempts at driving tended to draw a lot of unwanted attention. After a crash they ended up on foot again. Frequently they had to flee the scene before they could take another vehicle.
Despite the long winter nights it seemed like they never had any time for anything fun. They were always searching for food and shelter, and for safe places to clean up. More like they were scavengers instead of steely-eyed fugitives from justice.
And it was cold. Megamind couldn't remember being so cold in all his life. Back at home, no, back at the prison, he corrected himself, he'd casually gone out to the exercise yard along with the rest of the men, braving all kinds of weather. But then---and this, he belatedly realized, was the important bit---he always got to go back inside again after an hour or two, where it was warm. It was a bitter truth to discover he was used to the constant temperature of the prison building. He never stopped shivering. His hands and feet ached, his face hurt. He was sure his ears would freeze off sometimes. The leather jacket he's lifted from a guard's locker as they were leaving was not cutting it. It looked cool. And it kept him cool, too.
By the fifth night, Megamind was no longer loudly declaring that the cold didn't bother him a bit, and Minion sensed the time was ripe.
The sun was setting. Megamind was awake, still curled up in the sleeping bag.
"Should be a little warmer tonight, sir," Minion said.
There was a subtle shift in the huddled mass as Megamind lifted his head.
"Oh?" he said, in a voice completely lacking in concern.
"The radio says it'll only go down to 15 degrees," Minion said. "And the wind chill will only be about 0 to 5."
A wind gust rattled the shed's roof.
"That is good news," Megamind said, hunching further in. His breath huffed a cloud into the frigid air.
Minion waited a few seconds, then said, "You know, sir, I've been thinking..."
"Yes?" Megamind said quickly.
"Well, I was wondering if I could ask a favor." He paused.
"Ask away, Minion."
"Well, I was just thinking, I would feel a whole lot better, and I know it's asking a lot, it's just that it's been so cold..."
"Are the temp regulators working all right? Your water isn't starting to freeze, is it?"
"Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I don't feel the cold at all!"
Megamind sighed. "That's good, then."
"It's just that I would feel a whole lot better if I could get you a new coat. Just if you want to," he added quickly, "I mean, it would mean a lot to me, then I wouldn't be so worried about this weather, and, well, it would, you know, make me feel better if I got you a coat, something with a hood. They say a lot of heat escapes from the head. Um."
Minion held his breath as Megamind considered the suggestion.
"Very well, Minion," he said, graciously bestowing the boon. "You may find me a new coat. If it makes you feel better."
"Oh, thank you, sir! We'll go to Miller Outfitters. They've got the best stuff."
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"Hey, there's a fudge store on the second floor!" Megamind said excitedly, voice loud in the silent sporting goods store. He swung his flashlight around and quickly located the escalator.
Minion was already blocking his path. "Coat first, sir," he said cheerfully.
He found an over-sized, dark green parka with a hood that fit over Megamind's large cranium.
Megamind stared at his reflection with wrinkled brows. The fake fur around the edges of the hood made him feel like he was in a nest. It was heavy. The sleeves covered his hands, which Minion seemed to think was a bonus. The hem went down to his knees.
"There! Warm enough?" Minion asked.
"This thing's a tent," Megamind complained. He pulled in his arms and legs, and ducked his head inside until he was completely hidden from sight. "See?" he said, poking his head out again.
"Let's roll the sleeves up. There. Now your hands are free. Better? You have to wear it, sir. It's got thinsulate."
Megamind groaned. Minion was in full mothering mode. There was no stopping him.
"We have to go with this size, sir. A smaller size won't have a big enough hood. It's the only way to keep your head covered. None of those caps will fit. I guess I could shorten it. Do you think another store in this mall has sewing machines? We should look."
Minion hoped so. All of his new clothes needed alterations. Megamind looked like a kid who'd gotten into his dad's wardrobe.
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Megamind had to admit, he was a lot warmer in the new coat. He hated the hood, though. It made him feel like such a dork. He often refused to put the hood up, out of sheer stubbornness, unless the only other alternative was dying of hypothermia.
Minion took a coat for himself too, so he would be less conspicuous. Sadly, Minion's coat seemed more to emphasize his blocky robotic frame rather than hide it, but it was useful enough for short periods of time.
---------------------------------
Whenever a new inmate at the prison saw them for the first time, their usual reaction consisted of a slight widening of the eyes, followed by frowns and suspicious looks that generally only lasted a few weeks until the new man got used to them and began treating them like everybody else did.
The public's extreme reactions were taking some getting used to. No prisoner ever actually screamed or pointed or showed any other sort of un-macho behavior upon learning of their existence, but this was something that happened on the streets on a fairly regular basis.
They only came out at night, when there were fewer people around, but such a large city never really slept. Occasional encounters were unavoidable. People generally backed away and fled from them. They had to keep moving, since within a few minutes of a chance encounter they tended to hear sirens, closing in.
It took a few nights for them to realize where the sudden two a.m. crowds were coming from.
"This must be the 'bar scene' we've heard so much about, Minion," Megamind said philosophically, as they observed a bar patron throwing up in the gutter. He shook his head. Some of the guards and prisoners talked proudly about how sick they'd gotten from alcohol at one time or another. Megamind had chalked it up to bragging, though it seemed a strange thing to be proud of. Drinking until you made yourself sick seemed counterproductive, but that appeared to be the goal.
Sometimes, though, especially if it were a group, people would bunch together for protection, and make excited comments like, "Do you think they see us?" and "It's the invaders!" and "Quick, get the camera." Sometimes people even followed them. Bringing out the de-gun, or siccing Minion on them, tended to make these pests scatter.
He began to observe the types of camera they were using. There was something about the way people were holding them that piqued his interest. Sometimes they held the cameras up in front of them, as if afraid of getting the things too close to their eyes. He and Minion cornered one of these would-be photographers.
He plucked the camera from the man's hands and turned it over. There was a screen on it. He drew in his breath.
"Minion, it's digital," he said excitedly. "I've read about them!" Glee lit his face. He beamed at his captive. "Do you know what you have here? Do you? Unlimited potential!"
The man swallowed. The cold metallic hand gripping his arm was sobering him up faster than a gallon of coffee. The fish was glaring at him in what seemed to be a hungry way. His buddies had all taken off, to get help. Presumably.
"Do you like it? You can have it," he said, nervousness making him generous.
They took it.
-------------------
Finally, Megamind had enough of the gawkers. He and Minion were looking for another car to steal when he realized they were being followed. He looked back over his shoulder. Sure enough, four people were trailing behind them about half a block away. He could hear them talking and giggling, their voices echoing against the buildings of the silent street.
"Let's just get out of here," someone said.
"Don't be such a wuss, Doug," a woman responded. "They're not real. It's just a mask."
"No, it's true, they say there's gonna be an invasion any day now," another woman said, sounding more excited than alarmed.
"You believe anything," the second man scoffed. "I happen to know for a fact that he's the result of a lab experiment gone wrong. It's happening more and more these days."
"That's a new one," Minion muttered darkly. He threw them a dirty look.
"It's not real! I'll prove it!" the woman said. "Hey!" she shouted. "Hey you!"
Megamind stopped. This kind of thing was wearing thin.
"Angie," one of the men said, grabbing at her arm. Angie shrugged him off and began stalking toward them, her heels clicking on the sidewalk.
Minion growled and moved to block her path but Megamind put his arm up to stop him. "I'll take this one, Minion." He recognized a bully when he saw one, even if this one happened to be wearing high heels and a skirt. He wondered briefly how she could stand the freezing wind that poured relentlessly through the streets.
Megamind moved to stand in the light of the nearest street lamp. He tilted his chin up and glared at her as she approached. Angie's determined sneer began to fade the closer she got. When she was within a few feet her swagger was gone. Her eyes darted uncertainly between Megamind and the glowering bulk of Minion who had also come into the light. Seeing them close up, with the street light illuminating their features, it was painfully obvious that the blue face in front of her was not, in fact, some cheap mask as she'd believed. She could hear the squeaks and creaks of the fish-robot's armor, and even see the occasional bubbles rising through the fishbowl's water. She licked her lips nervously and said, "Uh..."
"Is that it?" Megamind said. "That's the best you can come up with when confronted by a member of an alien race? A mere syllable? I tell you, Minion, the citizens of this city never cease to disappoint. I hope," he said, turning back to her, "this is real enough for you." He smiled and tugged at his cheek. "This ain't no mask, lady." Angie shifted uneasily, clearly wanting to retreat but also not wanting to look like a total idiot in front of her friends.
Megamind drew the de-gun. Angie lifted her hands. There was a murmur of alarm from the other three. "Get back to your friends," he ordered. Angie backed up. He walked with her, turning on his most evil smirk. With Minion advancing as well, he was sure they were making an impression on these fools.
"Hand over your purses and your wallets." They were slow to comply, thrown off balance by this change of fortune. He pointed the gun at the first man. "You first."
"It just turns you into a cube," the other man muttered, who knew so much about lab experiments. "I saw it on the---" he flinched and put his hands up when Megamind aimed the gun at him.
"Then you can be first," Megamind said. "Let's have that watch,too."
-----------------
Later, in a back alley, as Megamind emptied out the cash and credit cards, Minion asked, "Sir, are we going to mug everybody who crosses our path?"
"If they don't show some respect, we will. I'm sick and tired of getting treated like a freak show," Megamind said, tossing an empty wallet into the dumpster. "From now on, anybody bothers us, they're getting the full treatment. Fear and intimidation, Minion, will be our motto. People aren't going to bother us if they're afraid of us."
"If you say so, sir."
------------------
After they stole another car they parked (or crashed) behind a gas station/convenience store. Minion was operating the key-o-matic this time. Megamind was too busy hopping from foot to foot.
The key-o-matic, which looked like a cross between a pair of salad tongs and a stapler, was giving Minion some trouble. It was too small for his large fingers.
"Get it open already," Megamind groaned.
Minion fumbled and finally got a grip on the trigger. "You know, there's a perfectly good alley right over there, sir."
"Perfect if you're a dog, or a vag-grahnt. Just get the door open!" Megamind said, bent almost double.
We're living in a shed, Minion thought. Doesn't that mean we're homeless? He sensed that this observation would not go over too well, so he didn't say anything. He put the device to the lock, as if he were going to do some serious stapling, and activated it. An electric charge crawled over the metal, tumblers turned, the security system went dead, and the lock opened. Minion pushed the door open. Megamind shoved past him and dashed into the restroom.
After the emergency was taken care of, he buckled the belt over his jeans. They were too big and flapped in the breeze, which drove him crazy. Minion even had to put extra holes in the belt so it would fit. He looked in the mirror. He was filthy.
This must be why people flee in terror, he thought, grimacing. He pushed up the sleeves of his zippered sweatshirt and scrubbed his hands and arms. He lathered his head and face, leaning well over the sink so the water wouldn't run down into his clothes. After he straightened up he noticed with annoyance that there weren't any paper towels, only a hand dryer. He shook his arms vigorously and swiped as much water off his head and face as he could. He was about to finish drying off with the hand dryer when something in the mirror caught his eye. He leaned over the sink again to look more closely.
"Minion," he said.
"Minion," he called more loudly.
"What?" came Minion's distant reply.
"Minion! Get in here!" he shouted.
Minion punched the restroom door open. It crashed against the wall, swinging hopelessly by one hinge, the massive dent sealing its fate. Minion darted around in his bowl, wildly looking around the room.
"WHAT! What is it!" he yelled.
"I have a BEARD! Look look look!" Megamind said, jabbing excitedly at his jawline.
Minion huffed out a breath in relief. He walked over and leaned down to examine Megamind's grinning features. He squinted. Sure enough, a thin whisper of dust lined his jaw.
"Oh! Oh, there it is. Um. Yes. Well done, sir!" he said brightly.
"To the shaving products," Megamind cried. He dashed out of the restroom. He hurried around the store's narrow aisles until he found the small selection of personal care items. He took all the razors, shaving cream cans and a grand total of three tiny bottles of after-shave.
"This proves it, Minion," he said, dumping everything into a plastic bag. "I was right to take this course of action, to seize liberty. The air of freedom has brought maturity. I am a man, free to grow, to expand, to live!
"Now then," he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "Grab that box of doughnuts. It's time to meet my driving instructor."
"Don't forget your coat, sir," Minion said, holding up the tent-parka.
"Oh, yes, mustn't forget that," Megamind grumbled.
They raided the cash register too, because that was what you did when you broke into a place.
------------------------------------
Nick turned the cab around and made another pass down Bleaker Avenue. He was about to call it a night. The fares had pretty much dried up by now. It was a weeknight and there weren't too many people out. He caught a glimpse of someone waving to him from the corner. Two people in hooded coats. Looked like a couple. The smaller figure was bouncing up and down.
He pulled over to the curb. If he had been paying attention he would have noticed that, despite the cold, the big man's breath was not fogging the air. As the couple got into the back seat there was a puzzling creak of metal coming from somewhere.
"Cold one, isn't it?" Nick said automatically, invoking the standard conversation starter. Neither person answered. The door was slammed shut. A metal fist shot out of the man's sleeve and demolished Nick's CB radio.
"Hey!" Nick yelled. The man pulled the hood back and revealed the floating, grinning Minion.
"Just take it easy," Minion said. Nick scrabbled at his door handle, trying to get it open. Heavy hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back down into the seat. "Easy does it. No one's going to hurt you." Nick was having trouble breathing.
The smaller person pulled his hood back and Nick was not at all surprised to see the blue alien he'd seen on TV.
"Nice work, Minion. And it certainly is a cold one," he said, smiling.
"Hey, just take the money, there isn't much there," Nick said.
Megamind slung himself over the back of the seat. Nick's eyes swiveled nervously to the de-gun dangling casually from the black-gloved hand.
"What's your name, misterrr...Nick Conner," Megamind said, catching sight of Nick's license on the dashboard. "You know me?"
"Uh, yeah, I've seen you on the news. You're Megamind. People have---have sent in photos."
Megamind's grin widened. "Great. We really must get a television, Minion. Now, contrary to what you may have heard, I am not here to rob you. I need something much more valuable."
Nick couldn't guess what that might be. "What?" he asked shakily, certain he wouldn't like the answer.
"Education. Driving lessons, of course," Megamind cried, raising his hands.
"You want to learn to drive?" Curiosity made him turn a little more towards his captors. As he looked at Megamind's eager, young face a thought occurred to him. "How old are you?"
"I'm...twenty-five," Megamind said, voice cracking.
There was a muffled snort from Minion, quickly cut off.
Megamind glared at him. "Did you have something you wanted to say, Minion?"
"No, no, not me, sir."
"Because it sounded like you were about to say something," Megamind said.
"I-I was just clearing my throat, sir," Minion said.
"Well, let's hope you don't have any more attacks of throat dryness. So how about it, Nick?" Megamind said, turning back to the front. "I'm the sort who doesn't really care much for following the rules, but first I need to know what the rules are. In exchange, I promise not to take your money, you get to keep your cab, and...um...Minion won't rip your arms off."
"Sir!" Minion looked shocked.
"What?" Megamind snapped, exasperated. "Too harsh for your sensibilites? How about... Minion won't clobber you on the head. I hope that meets with your approval," he said to Minion sarcastically.
Minion sniffed. "Yes. Yes, it does," he said with hurt dignity.
How can I refuse? Nick thought. "All right mister..."
"Megamind," said the alien. "Just Megamind."
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The cab flew down the freeway, considerably over the speed limit. Megamind held the steering wheel, grinning like a maniac. Nick clutched the dashboard and door handle with a white-knuckled grip. Minion was leaning out the window. He couldn't feel the wind but somehow the landscape whipping by seemed so much closer and more exciting when he hung out the window.
The radio blared. A Led Zeppelin song came on.
"Hey, I like this one!" Megamind said, turning it up louder.
Nick hoped the lesson was almost over.
They whooshed by an SUV. Minion waved at them, giving them his toothiest grin. Then he noticed a woman in the vehicle holding a cell phone to her ear.
Quickly Minion sat back down on the seat and rolled up the window. He should have noticed the sky was getting lighter. It was morning. Traffic was much heavier. They whizzed by more cars. Minion reached over the back of the seat and turned off the radio.
Megamind glanced at him in surprise. "What did you do that for?"
"Sir, you better slow down and find an exit ramp. Sun's up. Look at all the traffic. That one lady back there had a phone."
Megamind grumbled, but he eased off the gas.
"And I'm sure Nick would like to go home, now," Minion said, glancing at the cabbie. Nick relaxed a fraction and dared to hope he would get out of there in one piece.
Megamind took the next exit and drove down a side street. They were passing some apartment complexes that had seen better days. There was block after block of squat brick buildings, all of them exactly alike. Megamind glanced briefly at Nick. He supposed he didn't really have to dehydrate the cabbie. That seemed a tad ungrateful. But he would probably have to take the cab, despite his promise not to steal it. They were miles from their hideout and needed a vehicle. Nick had been so helpful, though, explaining the rules of the road, and describing how to handle different sorts of road conditions. Because of his instruction, Megamind now knew that a yellow light did not, in fact, mean "floor it," which was the impression he'd gotten from his observation of other drivers.
Then he saw it. A white van parked at the curb. A yellow boot hobbled its front wheel and there were numerous parking tickets and flyers tucked under the windshield wipers.
Megamind pulled over. He stepped out into the chilly dawn and walked around the van. There was just a little rust on the left fender. He peered in the window. It seemed to be full of garbage, but that could be cleared out. And the keys were in the ignition! He could see the key chain with ZZ Top embossed on it. He drew the de-gun, aimed carefully at the boot, and fired. The boot was successfully cubed, leaving the tire intact. Megamind sighed in satisfaction.
"Our new wheels, Minion," he said as Minion climbed out of the back seat. Megamind walked up to the cab where Nick was sitting in the passenger seat and knocked on the window.
"Thank you for your assistance, Nick. As per our agreement, you get to keep your cab and your money. You," Megamind gestured broadly at the street ahead, "are free to go."
Nick didn't need to be told twice. He practically dove into the driver's seat and took off with a squeal of tires.
"Bye!" Megamind smiled and waved. "Can you believe it, Minion? Just when we needed a ride, too. If that's not destiny, I don't know what is."
"We should get different plates for it. That cab driver might've seen them," Minion said.
"I should go get my driver's license, huh?" Megamind laughed, smacking Minion's chest.
"Yeah, your best idea yet," Minion said dryly. "Do I get to drive now?"
"Very well. Driving us back to the hideout can be your first lesson." He held out his hand and Minion gave him the tools. Megamind proceeded to get the van door open. "And by the way, Minion, it does not work, discussing threats in front of the victim. Think about how that looks. How can they take us seriously if we argue over consequences?"
"Sorry, sir," Minion said meekly. "It kinda caught me off guard. It won't happen again."
"I mean, it wasn't as if I really expected you to rip his arms off if he refused," Megamind said, shuddering. "Ick."
Author: ladyspock
Word Count: 5000 (appx)
Rating: pg
Summary: Fifteen year old Megamind has had it with prison life and decides to strike out on his own. With Minion, of course.
Chapter summary: Reality sinks in. Driver's ed. Encounters with the public. Megamind becomes a man. (No, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter!)
This chapter is a longer one. Enjoy!
Author's notes: All temperatures given are in Fahrenheit. And it is a mystery to me as to why certain massive sporting goods stores have fudge shops.
If I were better organized, I would have included some author's notes at the end of the last chapter. Better late than never! The idea for the incredible shrinking cups in the warden's office came from my husband. And it was joanhello who pointed out in her story, The Overlord's Lady, that, when someone is dehydrated into a cube, it is impossible to tell which end is up. Hence one of the guards, back in chapter 4, reappears standing on his head. You should read The Overlord's Lady, if you haven't already. (No, wait, not yet! Read mine first! Come back here!)
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
"Police have released sketches of the aliens that escaped from Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted, as no current photographs exist," the anchorwoman on the TV said.
Gordon paused in the living room, his toothbrush in hand and mouth full of toothpaste. The picture on the TV screen showed a sketch of a young man who looked like a stereotypical big-headed Martian from an old sci-fi film.
"John Doe, aka Megamind, is about 5 feet 3 inches tall, has blue skin..." Gordon could almost hear the anchorwoman putting the word in italics, "...and has green eyes."
Gordon started to brush his teeth again as he walked back to the bathroom. Shouldn't think she'd have to say his eye color, Gordon thought with some amusement. The guy's blue fer cryin' out loud. As he rinsed and spat, he could hear them saying something about a ray gun, but he couldn't really hear over the sound of the water running. By the time he emerged, the morning news team had moved on to the next item. There was a camping and fishing expo at the civic center this weekend.
"Well, Stacy, looks like they're getting geared up for the big camping exhibition down there."
"That's right, Gary! I'm here live at the Metro City Civic Center with..."
Gordon turned off the television. He locked the apartment and took the stairs instead of the elevator.
The sky was still dark. Gordon had gotten up extra early on this chilly winter's day so he could get in a full three mile run before work. he was quite proud that he was keeping up with his New Year's resolution. He jogged in place for a moment, then did a few stretches. He began his run slowly.
He would run through the downtown area first, then maybe over the bridge and through the park. He thought about that newscast. He heard rumors there was an alien kept in the prison but it wasn't something he thought about too much. It was probably all nonsense, like all that stuff about that Wayne Scott kid. Gordon had seen news footage of Wayne Scott, flying around, lifting trucks with one hand. He was just waiting for the day when it was all exposed as a hoax.
He rounded the corner at Sixth Avenue. As he was jogging past Mercer's Grocery he heard a squeal of tires. He looked over his shoulder. A Ford Taurus had barely made the turn. Alarmed, Gordon backed up against the store as the car roared down the street. As it passed the store it leaped the curb, sailed into the air and impaled itself on top of a fire hydrant.
Heart pounding, Gordon ran up to the driver's door and pulled it open.
"Hey, man, are you all----GAH!" Gordon backed up so fast he tripped and fell. He stared, mouth open and eyes wide, as the blue alien lurched unsteadily out from behind the steering wheel.
"Perfectly all right," the blue man said hoarsely, staggering a bit. "That was a little better, I'd say. What do you think, Minion?"
Gordon drew in his breath sharply as the passenger door opened and some THING clambered out. At first he thought the strange man was wearing a silver helmet, but then he realized it was clear dome with a...catfish? On top of a robot body. The thing blinked at him. Ice water poured through Gordon's limbs.
The blue man said, "I think there's something wrong with the gas pedal, like the last---"
Gordon screamed. The scream came out of some ancient, primal place that had no room for logic or reason. The alien flinched back against the car and screamed. Even the thing in the dome screamed. Gordon scrabbled backwards, crab-like, then finally found his feet and ran.
Megamind, gasping, held a hand clasped to his chest and watched the man flee.
"Geez," he said weakly. "What's the matter with him?"
"I dunno," Minion said, a touch irritably. These driving lessons were taking a toll on his nerves. They'd gone through four cars and he still hadn't gotten a chance to drive. "Maybe watching a car get smashed up right in front of him got him all upset. Sir."
"Yes, I suppose so. Rather long delayed reaction, though." Megamind paused. "Seemed more like he was scared of us."
Minion sighed and looked around. There were some lights in the surrounding windows. A few more flickered on. Probably the noise from the crash woke people up.
Megamind noticed the lights too. "How far would you say it is back to the hideout?" Their current hideout was a large shed on the back lot of a gardening center, closed for the winter. It was secluded and well-hidden, and had the added benefits of being dark, dirty, and freezing.
"About twenty blocks."
Megamind kicked at one of the tires. Driving shouldn't be so difficult. He'd seen enough movies and TV shows to know how it was done, and Scunner taught him that all you needed was a screwdriver and a cordless drill to get most vehicles started. The hot-wiring lessons were done on the sly; many of the prisoners disapproved of such a young kid learning the tricks of the trade. Starting a car turned out to be entirely different from actually moving it down the street.
A cab drove past. Megamind scowled as the cab drew level, and then the cab went on its way at a rather faster pace. Megamind narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.
"Sir, it's getting late."
Megamind glanced at him, then turned to look after the cab again, disappearing around the corner.
"Very well, Minion. Time to retire."
A Chevy Impala was parked nearby. Megamind pulled out the tools from the backpack. Then, because time was pressing, Minion smashed the Chevy's window and Megamind got to work.
--------
One of the many things Megamind learned over the course of their first days of freedom was that walking sucked. The blocks and the miles stretched out before them and ate up their precious time. Their attempts at driving tended to draw a lot of unwanted attention. After a crash they ended up on foot again. Frequently they had to flee the scene before they could take another vehicle.
Despite the long winter nights it seemed like they never had any time for anything fun. They were always searching for food and shelter, and for safe places to clean up. More like they were scavengers instead of steely-eyed fugitives from justice.
And it was cold. Megamind couldn't remember being so cold in all his life. Back at home, no, back at the prison, he corrected himself, he'd casually gone out to the exercise yard along with the rest of the men, braving all kinds of weather. But then---and this, he belatedly realized, was the important bit---he always got to go back inside again after an hour or two, where it was warm. It was a bitter truth to discover he was used to the constant temperature of the prison building. He never stopped shivering. His hands and feet ached, his face hurt. He was sure his ears would freeze off sometimes. The leather jacket he's lifted from a guard's locker as they were leaving was not cutting it. It looked cool. And it kept him cool, too.
By the fifth night, Megamind was no longer loudly declaring that the cold didn't bother him a bit, and Minion sensed the time was ripe.
The sun was setting. Megamind was awake, still curled up in the sleeping bag.
"Should be a little warmer tonight, sir," Minion said.
There was a subtle shift in the huddled mass as Megamind lifted his head.
"Oh?" he said, in a voice completely lacking in concern.
"The radio says it'll only go down to 15 degrees," Minion said. "And the wind chill will only be about 0 to 5."
A wind gust rattled the shed's roof.
"That is good news," Megamind said, hunching further in. His breath huffed a cloud into the frigid air.
Minion waited a few seconds, then said, "You know, sir, I've been thinking..."
"Yes?" Megamind said quickly.
"Well, I was wondering if I could ask a favor." He paused.
"Ask away, Minion."
"Well, I was just thinking, I would feel a whole lot better, and I know it's asking a lot, it's just that it's been so cold..."
"Are the temp regulators working all right? Your water isn't starting to freeze, is it?"
"Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I don't feel the cold at all!"
Megamind sighed. "That's good, then."
"It's just that I would feel a whole lot better if I could get you a new coat. Just if you want to," he added quickly, "I mean, it would mean a lot to me, then I wouldn't be so worried about this weather, and, well, it would, you know, make me feel better if I got you a coat, something with a hood. They say a lot of heat escapes from the head. Um."
Minion held his breath as Megamind considered the suggestion.
"Very well, Minion," he said, graciously bestowing the boon. "You may find me a new coat. If it makes you feel better."
"Oh, thank you, sir! We'll go to Miller Outfitters. They've got the best stuff."
-------------------------------------
"Hey, there's a fudge store on the second floor!" Megamind said excitedly, voice loud in the silent sporting goods store. He swung his flashlight around and quickly located the escalator.
Minion was already blocking his path. "Coat first, sir," he said cheerfully.
He found an over-sized, dark green parka with a hood that fit over Megamind's large cranium.
Megamind stared at his reflection with wrinkled brows. The fake fur around the edges of the hood made him feel like he was in a nest. It was heavy. The sleeves covered his hands, which Minion seemed to think was a bonus. The hem went down to his knees.
"There! Warm enough?" Minion asked.
"This thing's a tent," Megamind complained. He pulled in his arms and legs, and ducked his head inside until he was completely hidden from sight. "See?" he said, poking his head out again.
"Let's roll the sleeves up. There. Now your hands are free. Better? You have to wear it, sir. It's got thinsulate."
Megamind groaned. Minion was in full mothering mode. There was no stopping him.
"We have to go with this size, sir. A smaller size won't have a big enough hood. It's the only way to keep your head covered. None of those caps will fit. I guess I could shorten it. Do you think another store in this mall has sewing machines? We should look."
Minion hoped so. All of his new clothes needed alterations. Megamind looked like a kid who'd gotten into his dad's wardrobe.
-------------------------------
Megamind had to admit, he was a lot warmer in the new coat. He hated the hood, though. It made him feel like such a dork. He often refused to put the hood up, out of sheer stubbornness, unless the only other alternative was dying of hypothermia.
Minion took a coat for himself too, so he would be less conspicuous. Sadly, Minion's coat seemed more to emphasize his blocky robotic frame rather than hide it, but it was useful enough for short periods of time.
---------------------------------
Whenever a new inmate at the prison saw them for the first time, their usual reaction consisted of a slight widening of the eyes, followed by frowns and suspicious looks that generally only lasted a few weeks until the new man got used to them and began treating them like everybody else did.
The public's extreme reactions were taking some getting used to. No prisoner ever actually screamed or pointed or showed any other sort of un-macho behavior upon learning of their existence, but this was something that happened on the streets on a fairly regular basis.
They only came out at night, when there were fewer people around, but such a large city never really slept. Occasional encounters were unavoidable. People generally backed away and fled from them. They had to keep moving, since within a few minutes of a chance encounter they tended to hear sirens, closing in.
It took a few nights for them to realize where the sudden two a.m. crowds were coming from.
"This must be the 'bar scene' we've heard so much about, Minion," Megamind said philosophically, as they observed a bar patron throwing up in the gutter. He shook his head. Some of the guards and prisoners talked proudly about how sick they'd gotten from alcohol at one time or another. Megamind had chalked it up to bragging, though it seemed a strange thing to be proud of. Drinking until you made yourself sick seemed counterproductive, but that appeared to be the goal.
Sometimes, though, especially if it were a group, people would bunch together for protection, and make excited comments like, "Do you think they see us?" and "It's the invaders!" and "Quick, get the camera." Sometimes people even followed them. Bringing out the de-gun, or siccing Minion on them, tended to make these pests scatter.
He began to observe the types of camera they were using. There was something about the way people were holding them that piqued his interest. Sometimes they held the cameras up in front of them, as if afraid of getting the things too close to their eyes. He and Minion cornered one of these would-be photographers.
He plucked the camera from the man's hands and turned it over. There was a screen on it. He drew in his breath.
"Minion, it's digital," he said excitedly. "I've read about them!" Glee lit his face. He beamed at his captive. "Do you know what you have here? Do you? Unlimited potential!"
The man swallowed. The cold metallic hand gripping his arm was sobering him up faster than a gallon of coffee. The fish was glaring at him in what seemed to be a hungry way. His buddies had all taken off, to get help. Presumably.
"Do you like it? You can have it," he said, nervousness making him generous.
They took it.
-------------------
Finally, Megamind had enough of the gawkers. He and Minion were looking for another car to steal when he realized they were being followed. He looked back over his shoulder. Sure enough, four people were trailing behind them about half a block away. He could hear them talking and giggling, their voices echoing against the buildings of the silent street.
"Let's just get out of here," someone said.
"Don't be such a wuss, Doug," a woman responded. "They're not real. It's just a mask."
"No, it's true, they say there's gonna be an invasion any day now," another woman said, sounding more excited than alarmed.
"You believe anything," the second man scoffed. "I happen to know for a fact that he's the result of a lab experiment gone wrong. It's happening more and more these days."
"That's a new one," Minion muttered darkly. He threw them a dirty look.
"It's not real! I'll prove it!" the woman said. "Hey!" she shouted. "Hey you!"
Megamind stopped. This kind of thing was wearing thin.
"Angie," one of the men said, grabbing at her arm. Angie shrugged him off and began stalking toward them, her heels clicking on the sidewalk.
Minion growled and moved to block her path but Megamind put his arm up to stop him. "I'll take this one, Minion." He recognized a bully when he saw one, even if this one happened to be wearing high heels and a skirt. He wondered briefly how she could stand the freezing wind that poured relentlessly through the streets.
Megamind moved to stand in the light of the nearest street lamp. He tilted his chin up and glared at her as she approached. Angie's determined sneer began to fade the closer she got. When she was within a few feet her swagger was gone. Her eyes darted uncertainly between Megamind and the glowering bulk of Minion who had also come into the light. Seeing them close up, with the street light illuminating their features, it was painfully obvious that the blue face in front of her was not, in fact, some cheap mask as she'd believed. She could hear the squeaks and creaks of the fish-robot's armor, and even see the occasional bubbles rising through the fishbowl's water. She licked her lips nervously and said, "Uh..."
"Is that it?" Megamind said. "That's the best you can come up with when confronted by a member of an alien race? A mere syllable? I tell you, Minion, the citizens of this city never cease to disappoint. I hope," he said, turning back to her, "this is real enough for you." He smiled and tugged at his cheek. "This ain't no mask, lady." Angie shifted uneasily, clearly wanting to retreat but also not wanting to look like a total idiot in front of her friends.
Megamind drew the de-gun. Angie lifted her hands. There was a murmur of alarm from the other three. "Get back to your friends," he ordered. Angie backed up. He walked with her, turning on his most evil smirk. With Minion advancing as well, he was sure they were making an impression on these fools.
"Hand over your purses and your wallets." They were slow to comply, thrown off balance by this change of fortune. He pointed the gun at the first man. "You first."
"It just turns you into a cube," the other man muttered, who knew so much about lab experiments. "I saw it on the---" he flinched and put his hands up when Megamind aimed the gun at him.
"Then you can be first," Megamind said. "Let's have that watch,too."
-----------------
Later, in a back alley, as Megamind emptied out the cash and credit cards, Minion asked, "Sir, are we going to mug everybody who crosses our path?"
"If they don't show some respect, we will. I'm sick and tired of getting treated like a freak show," Megamind said, tossing an empty wallet into the dumpster. "From now on, anybody bothers us, they're getting the full treatment. Fear and intimidation, Minion, will be our motto. People aren't going to bother us if they're afraid of us."
"If you say so, sir."
------------------
After they stole another car they parked (or crashed) behind a gas station/convenience store. Minion was operating the key-o-matic this time. Megamind was too busy hopping from foot to foot.
The key-o-matic, which looked like a cross between a pair of salad tongs and a stapler, was giving Minion some trouble. It was too small for his large fingers.
"Get it open already," Megamind groaned.
Minion fumbled and finally got a grip on the trigger. "You know, there's a perfectly good alley right over there, sir."
"Perfect if you're a dog, or a vag-grahnt. Just get the door open!" Megamind said, bent almost double.
We're living in a shed, Minion thought. Doesn't that mean we're homeless? He sensed that this observation would not go over too well, so he didn't say anything. He put the device to the lock, as if he were going to do some serious stapling, and activated it. An electric charge crawled over the metal, tumblers turned, the security system went dead, and the lock opened. Minion pushed the door open. Megamind shoved past him and dashed into the restroom.
After the emergency was taken care of, he buckled the belt over his jeans. They were too big and flapped in the breeze, which drove him crazy. Minion even had to put extra holes in the belt so it would fit. He looked in the mirror. He was filthy.
This must be why people flee in terror, he thought, grimacing. He pushed up the sleeves of his zippered sweatshirt and scrubbed his hands and arms. He lathered his head and face, leaning well over the sink so the water wouldn't run down into his clothes. After he straightened up he noticed with annoyance that there weren't any paper towels, only a hand dryer. He shook his arms vigorously and swiped as much water off his head and face as he could. He was about to finish drying off with the hand dryer when something in the mirror caught his eye. He leaned over the sink again to look more closely.
"Minion," he said.
"Minion," he called more loudly.
"What?" came Minion's distant reply.
"Minion! Get in here!" he shouted.
Minion punched the restroom door open. It crashed against the wall, swinging hopelessly by one hinge, the massive dent sealing its fate. Minion darted around in his bowl, wildly looking around the room.
"WHAT! What is it!" he yelled.
"I have a BEARD! Look look look!" Megamind said, jabbing excitedly at his jawline.
Minion huffed out a breath in relief. He walked over and leaned down to examine Megamind's grinning features. He squinted. Sure enough, a thin whisper of dust lined his jaw.
"Oh! Oh, there it is. Um. Yes. Well done, sir!" he said brightly.
"To the shaving products," Megamind cried. He dashed out of the restroom. He hurried around the store's narrow aisles until he found the small selection of personal care items. He took all the razors, shaving cream cans and a grand total of three tiny bottles of after-shave.
"This proves it, Minion," he said, dumping everything into a plastic bag. "I was right to take this course of action, to seize liberty. The air of freedom has brought maturity. I am a man, free to grow, to expand, to live!
"Now then," he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "Grab that box of doughnuts. It's time to meet my driving instructor."
"Don't forget your coat, sir," Minion said, holding up the tent-parka.
"Oh, yes, mustn't forget that," Megamind grumbled.
They raided the cash register too, because that was what you did when you broke into a place.
------------------------------------
Nick turned the cab around and made another pass down Bleaker Avenue. He was about to call it a night. The fares had pretty much dried up by now. It was a weeknight and there weren't too many people out. He caught a glimpse of someone waving to him from the corner. Two people in hooded coats. Looked like a couple. The smaller figure was bouncing up and down.
He pulled over to the curb. If he had been paying attention he would have noticed that, despite the cold, the big man's breath was not fogging the air. As the couple got into the back seat there was a puzzling creak of metal coming from somewhere.
"Cold one, isn't it?" Nick said automatically, invoking the standard conversation starter. Neither person answered. The door was slammed shut. A metal fist shot out of the man's sleeve and demolished Nick's CB radio.
"Hey!" Nick yelled. The man pulled the hood back and revealed the floating, grinning Minion.
"Just take it easy," Minion said. Nick scrabbled at his door handle, trying to get it open. Heavy hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back down into the seat. "Easy does it. No one's going to hurt you." Nick was having trouble breathing.
The smaller person pulled his hood back and Nick was not at all surprised to see the blue alien he'd seen on TV.
"Nice work, Minion. And it certainly is a cold one," he said, smiling.
"Hey, just take the money, there isn't much there," Nick said.
Megamind slung himself over the back of the seat. Nick's eyes swiveled nervously to the de-gun dangling casually from the black-gloved hand.
"What's your name, misterrr...Nick Conner," Megamind said, catching sight of Nick's license on the dashboard. "You know me?"
"Uh, yeah, I've seen you on the news. You're Megamind. People have---have sent in photos."
Megamind's grin widened. "Great. We really must get a television, Minion. Now, contrary to what you may have heard, I am not here to rob you. I need something much more valuable."
Nick couldn't guess what that might be. "What?" he asked shakily, certain he wouldn't like the answer.
"Education. Driving lessons, of course," Megamind cried, raising his hands.
"You want to learn to drive?" Curiosity made him turn a little more towards his captors. As he looked at Megamind's eager, young face a thought occurred to him. "How old are you?"
"I'm...twenty-five," Megamind said, voice cracking.
There was a muffled snort from Minion, quickly cut off.
Megamind glared at him. "Did you have something you wanted to say, Minion?"
"No, no, not me, sir."
"Because it sounded like you were about to say something," Megamind said.
"I-I was just clearing my throat, sir," Minion said.
"Well, let's hope you don't have any more attacks of throat dryness. So how about it, Nick?" Megamind said, turning back to the front. "I'm the sort who doesn't really care much for following the rules, but first I need to know what the rules are. In exchange, I promise not to take your money, you get to keep your cab, and...um...Minion won't rip your arms off."
"Sir!" Minion looked shocked.
"What?" Megamind snapped, exasperated. "Too harsh for your sensibilites? How about... Minion won't clobber you on the head. I hope that meets with your approval," he said to Minion sarcastically.
Minion sniffed. "Yes. Yes, it does," he said with hurt dignity.
How can I refuse? Nick thought. "All right mister..."
"Megamind," said the alien. "Just Megamind."
-------------------------------
The cab flew down the freeway, considerably over the speed limit. Megamind held the steering wheel, grinning like a maniac. Nick clutched the dashboard and door handle with a white-knuckled grip. Minion was leaning out the window. He couldn't feel the wind but somehow the landscape whipping by seemed so much closer and more exciting when he hung out the window.
The radio blared. A Led Zeppelin song came on.
"Hey, I like this one!" Megamind said, turning it up louder.
Nick hoped the lesson was almost over.
They whooshed by an SUV. Minion waved at them, giving them his toothiest grin. Then he noticed a woman in the vehicle holding a cell phone to her ear.
Quickly Minion sat back down on the seat and rolled up the window. He should have noticed the sky was getting lighter. It was morning. Traffic was much heavier. They whizzed by more cars. Minion reached over the back of the seat and turned off the radio.
Megamind glanced at him in surprise. "What did you do that for?"
"Sir, you better slow down and find an exit ramp. Sun's up. Look at all the traffic. That one lady back there had a phone."
Megamind grumbled, but he eased off the gas.
"And I'm sure Nick would like to go home, now," Minion said, glancing at the cabbie. Nick relaxed a fraction and dared to hope he would get out of there in one piece.
Megamind took the next exit and drove down a side street. They were passing some apartment complexes that had seen better days. There was block after block of squat brick buildings, all of them exactly alike. Megamind glanced briefly at Nick. He supposed he didn't really have to dehydrate the cabbie. That seemed a tad ungrateful. But he would probably have to take the cab, despite his promise not to steal it. They were miles from their hideout and needed a vehicle. Nick had been so helpful, though, explaining the rules of the road, and describing how to handle different sorts of road conditions. Because of his instruction, Megamind now knew that a yellow light did not, in fact, mean "floor it," which was the impression he'd gotten from his observation of other drivers.
Then he saw it. A white van parked at the curb. A yellow boot hobbled its front wheel and there were numerous parking tickets and flyers tucked under the windshield wipers.
Megamind pulled over. He stepped out into the chilly dawn and walked around the van. There was just a little rust on the left fender. He peered in the window. It seemed to be full of garbage, but that could be cleared out. And the keys were in the ignition! He could see the key chain with ZZ Top embossed on it. He drew the de-gun, aimed carefully at the boot, and fired. The boot was successfully cubed, leaving the tire intact. Megamind sighed in satisfaction.
"Our new wheels, Minion," he said as Minion climbed out of the back seat. Megamind walked up to the cab where Nick was sitting in the passenger seat and knocked on the window.
"Thank you for your assistance, Nick. As per our agreement, you get to keep your cab and your money. You," Megamind gestured broadly at the street ahead, "are free to go."
Nick didn't need to be told twice. He practically dove into the driver's seat and took off with a squeal of tires.
"Bye!" Megamind smiled and waved. "Can you believe it, Minion? Just when we needed a ride, too. If that's not destiny, I don't know what is."
"We should get different plates for it. That cab driver might've seen them," Minion said.
"I should go get my driver's license, huh?" Megamind laughed, smacking Minion's chest.
"Yeah, your best idea yet," Minion said dryly. "Do I get to drive now?"
"Very well. Driving us back to the hideout can be your first lesson." He held out his hand and Minion gave him the tools. Megamind proceeded to get the van door open. "And by the way, Minion, it does not work, discussing threats in front of the victim. Think about how that looks. How can they take us seriously if we argue over consequences?"
"Sorry, sir," Minion said meekly. "It kinda caught me off guard. It won't happen again."
"I mean, it wasn't as if I really expected you to rip his arms off if he refused," Megamind said, shuddering. "Ick."