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joanhello February 18 2012, 15:41:08 UTC
Thank you. That tells me what I need to know. Clearly the mistake I made was in Chapter 4 as much as in this one. When she stands up and shouts "No!" in response to his plans for getting into a fight, she reveals a concern for him that she had not even admitted to herself yet. Roxanne is very attached to being in control of the way she presents herself and the fact that she lost control like that over him just infuriates her. In a way that is natural but not at all logical, she is as angry with him as with herself over that. She wasn't ready to have positive feelings for him, much less to reveal them to anyone, and she wants to make them go away. That's why she spends half her snooping time looking at his porn: she wants to find something that will disgust or frighten her enough to blow away those positive feelings. She wants to bring her own state of mind back to one dominated by resentment. My error was in failing to convey all this in the course of the story. Now that it's been posted, I'm not going to rewrite, but I appreciate the feedback. It has helped me as a writer.

As for the prison video, I am one of those women who is turned on by gay male sex. While I could see Roxanne not being into it, I forgot to allow for the fact that some readers are grossed out by it and therefore would expect her to be grossed out, too. Should have put something in there clarifying her attitude.

I'm a bit of a clutz. I spill laundry detergent on myself while pre-treating stains about once a year. I have never found it caustic, just slippery.

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