(no subject)
My license is suspended until june 12th. I've spent the night in jail. I've worked for around 400 hours now in monatery terms for the events of one night. thats 400X5.15 of money i've spent towards this. I've changed schools. Been ripped away from many of the people i care about most. My mental state has shifted dramatically. I've been accused of things I have not done, and rumors circulate of things I've never thought of doing. I've lost so many things from this I can't even think of them all. Before that night, I love my friends, my truck, and my freetime. Since then I've moved away from my friends, my truck has been taken, and my freetime has went to other causes. I don't know what else the state of texas would like to do to me to show me how bad of a person I am, but at this point if I went to JJC or Jail I wouldnt even care. I've been degraded to a point so far to where my mental fight against this is losing it's steam. They have beaten me down to where I don't even want to continue fighting for what's right, because of there punishment towards me before they have even proven I've done anything wrong. The thing with this is that to make yourself clear in the eyes of the law, you have to spend a lot of money, a lot of time, and a lot of yourself just to get back to where you were. I won't ever be the same person after this. I won't ever have the respect for the law, or the respect for the judicial system I did before this. I used to think of my future in terms of school, where I wanted to go to college, what I wanted to do. Now all I want to do is clear my name, and feel good about myself again. I can live with a lot of things. I am a resiliant person. There are only so many things even I can take, and I'm at my last end. I'm in a corner being attacked by things I cannot fight against. My lawyer is filing an appeal to try to make me not go to court for my evading, saying that my family has taken enough action, basically saying the law does not need to interveen to prosecute me for my actions. It's sad how the bias, adrenaline, stupidity, and ignorance of one cop can ruin my life. I have to make a character list of all the good things i've done in my life just to prove to them I'm a decent person. That's what my mom told me today. She doesnt understand i'm tired of trying to prove to these people i'm a good person. It doesnt matter if im a good person or not, what matters is if they can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that I commited the crime they charged me with, and there is no way they can. If i could fight one person in the world, ever it would be Officer Yarbrough of the San Angelo police department. Stupid ass mother fucker. Me kickin his ass would just be Assault on a Police Officer, but if they look at the video of him handling me and the people I was with I doubt they would consider that assault, considering he threw eddie on the ground, and he continually tried to do the same with me, and would not let me get on the ground on my own accord. Even if you don't commit the crime, you pay way to much of you're own time.