(no subject)
I hate this feeling, this felling of boredom and uselessness..Dunno what the hell ima do with my life, its like anything I like to do im not all that good at, I like to write, but not that good at it, love to draw, not that good at it....I have this complex where if i cant be the best at something immedately, I give up...compition puts me off in just about everything but Marvel, thats where I take the time to bother to adapt and perfect, but theres no future in that, no job for marvel, I could be practicing writing, drawing, something productive that I like, but no, im on my comp bitchin on LJ to people who dont care, I dunno, I wanna find something that im naturally good at and like, there are something, like analyzing shit, i mean, im never really confused about anything, I pay attention to detail and can usually put the peices together...if I ever say im confused, its not that im REALLY confused, its that I dont wanna accept the plain and obvious truth thats in my face...I usually know how things work, how people work, thats why I wanted to major in Psych, till I found out its one of the most popular majors for undergraduates, and there arent many good jobs for it unless I go all the way and get a PHD in it, sure I'd be able to get jobs that just want you to have A degree, but then I'd probably end up at a job I cant stand and become some drone who wakes up, 30 years old, alone, doing the same thing day in and out, having no fun, wondering where the hell did my life go....Damn...Im too good at analyzing, especially myself...I dunno, I just dont know where Im going, no one really does, I just worry to much about stupid shit when I should just kick back and have fun....but im alone, its impossible for me to have fun alone, which is why I go to CF, it may create drama, but drama is part of life, if theres drama that means im alive....
"I feel like im watching a dream....A dream I never wake up from...."
"I feel like im watching a dream....A dream I never wake up from...."