Sep 12, 2021 17:21
I feel like I got a lot of value out of liveJournal years ago. I don't think anyone reads this, so that's fun.
I have so much hate and resentment in my heart. I wish I didn't. I am resentful of how much time and energy I feel like I've wasted on feeling stuck and frustrated. I'm mad that at my core I'm still feeling the same longing to be loved and fighting depression that I did when I was 16. When does it make sense to stop fighting? and if I keep fighting and look back, what was there any point?
I don't think I'm a martyr. I think that's unhealthy and lame. but maybe if I let myself get wrapped up in it will at least give me some purpose.