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[megalith]

I am perfectly fine being a fucking weirdo. I have been a fucking weirdo my entire life. When I went out places (or stayed in places), I was the person people looked at, pointed at, and said, "Look-- a fucking weirdo!" These people (for the most part) are what I liked to call: "boring." The same people, years later, might be a lot more

Comments

[poisonbatcandy]

I really agree with this in a lot of ways, and I love your strong conviction. Sometimes I feel so crushed and saddened by people's closed mindedness and insensitivity, it makes it so hard to be fully comfortable with myself. Having people bully and badger you about things you do really tends to wear you down. I used to be a lot more rebellious in the way I dressed and cut/dyed my hair but I've toned it down considerably to deflect some of the negative attention. it's sad how people misinterpret and judge people's motivations in their life. I'm still very much myself, but I feel there are a lot of times I am forced to hide it for my own protection. For example the way I dress now is to make life easy for me at school- I despise it when people hit on me, especially fetishy weirdos or crazies (which happened a lot when I dressed to the nines like a gothic cupcake), and I want to avoid problems with professors making assumptions about me.
My thoughts and beliefs are still as radical as they ever were though, and I still like what I like. I'm happy to know that I'm not the only person who resents normality or fights against it in their own way.

[megalith]

I feel very similarly. I hate the way people automatically tag you as this or that stereotype depending on what you wear (or are interested in-- although clothing is more common since it's so visible). I'm sure I'm not completely innocent of it myself, but at least I try. :/
I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to be associated with any particular group, and I take it to an almost ridiculous degree. It's not that I have any problems with those groups, but just that I don't like people to come to any assumptions about me. I don't like being defined in that way. Clothing is an easy way to be defined, and for some people they like that comfort, of feeling like they can easily be absorbed into the world of "goth" or the world of "prep" or "hippy" or "punk" or any other of a million things. There's not necessarily anything wrong with wanting to define yourself that rigidly, but I do find people who obsessively craft every part of their life/personality to fit a mold like that very uninteresting (as a general rule). It's not that, ultimately, they aren't interesting, just that they force themselves not to be. I'm a fan of people being able to just...like what they like and dress how they dress without the baggage of being associated with things they might not necessarily even be into.
I know what you're talking about-- I really like a lot of the same fashions and things as you do (I think).
I remember when I was a first year in university, getting hit on by these obviously desperate older guys (ooo! An unattractive first-year student! I can steal them and finally have a significant other! W00t!), and it was so uncomfortable. :/ I'd be like, "Dude. I'm a dude," but that didn't seem to clue them in all that much. Not even when I'd lie and say I had a girlfriend. It was hilarious though, because this one time one of the same ones who hit on me hit on my friend, who is a Lesbian. He was really nice but so creepy. o.o Then his sister, who was a Lesbian, also got a crush on my friend, ahahaha.
With people I already know, I sometimes wonder these days if they really ever did understand me, or maybe that they just don't anymore (for whatever reason). It's frightening. Incredibly frightening. I feel like I'm losing so much that's important to me and I can't do anything about it, and a lot of it is this being judged, or feeling "wrong" about things I like to do all of a sudden. And I know it's ridiculous, because I know that SO MANY PEOPLE like to do the same things I do, or are a little strange, but now I feel isolated and alone and without companionship.