a life lesson recalled
Sometimes there are moments where someone tries to get through to you and for some reason, at that very moment, you really HEAR them and it makes such an impact that you never forget it.
I've been remembering something that occurred near the end of my relationship with Emmett. Well the end or not, I honestly don't recall but we were having one of our countless discussions about our relationship. They varied from assessing & analyzing, to trying to resolve things.
One such discussion... in an attempt to express how hurt I made him feel, Emmett pointed out to me that it used to be that when he'd come pick me up from work, I was happy to see him. But that for sometime, I don't smile or seem happy to see him at all. And for him, he couldn't really explain it away as a bad day on my part because I was very consistently never happy to see him anymore.
And that was the bombshell for me.
He was right.
I could easily remember (even now), seeing him again after being apart even after something as mundane as a workday and being genuinely happy to see him.
It wasn't til he pointed this out that I realized that that feeling had been gone a long time. As I thought about it, I realized that I hadn't cared about it at all. It was something I took for granted and I believe for me it was even something "to be tolerated".
Of course I felt really bad because that's not a way to feel about your partner. But it was an eye-opener for me to realize how I'd been blind to my own feelings and the way I was treating him.
Since then, I've tried to be more conscientious about showing that I am happy to see people even if I am having a bad day. Of course I forget but I like to think that people do know that I am truly happy to see them even if sometimes I'm having a bad day and forget to smile.
And like many things, this kind of thing applies not only to partners but friends and family as well.
The postscript of the story is of course he and I eventually broke up but I always remain thankful to him for getting through to me that day and helping me learn something that's really important.
I've been remembering something that occurred near the end of my relationship with Emmett. Well the end or not, I honestly don't recall but we were having one of our countless discussions about our relationship. They varied from assessing & analyzing, to trying to resolve things.
One such discussion... in an attempt to express how hurt I made him feel, Emmett pointed out to me that it used to be that when he'd come pick me up from work, I was happy to see him. But that for sometime, I don't smile or seem happy to see him at all. And for him, he couldn't really explain it away as a bad day on my part because I was very consistently never happy to see him anymore.
And that was the bombshell for me.
He was right.
I could easily remember (even now), seeing him again after being apart even after something as mundane as a workday and being genuinely happy to see him.
It wasn't til he pointed this out that I realized that that feeling had been gone a long time. As I thought about it, I realized that I hadn't cared about it at all. It was something I took for granted and I believe for me it was even something "to be tolerated".
Of course I felt really bad because that's not a way to feel about your partner. But it was an eye-opener for me to realize how I'd been blind to my own feelings and the way I was treating him.
Since then, I've tried to be more conscientious about showing that I am happy to see people even if I am having a bad day. Of course I forget but I like to think that people do know that I am truly happy to see them even if sometimes I'm having a bad day and forget to smile.
And like many things, this kind of thing applies not only to partners but friends and family as well.
The postscript of the story is of course he and I eventually broke up but I always remain thankful to him for getting through to me that day and helping me learn something that's really important.