what are best friends for .......
Is it possible to love someone so much and all the sudden just give that love back like it was nothing? I love my friends so much that I would take a bullet for them and not think twice about it .... Its hard for me to act like he's not there ... I cant do it and I wont ..... I will always be here no matter what he says or does to hurt me ..... I know that sounds sad and pathetic but I told him one night that I would always be there for him no matter what happens, good or bad .... and all he said back to me was "words are cheap" ... he told me that if I really did love and care for him I had to prove it b/c all my words meant nothing to him then ... well, i've been there for him .... maybe he doesnt see it but I dont know how else to prove that I am here and that I do care! His excuse for awhile was that he thought he was being replaced .... I could NEVER replace him ... never ... the only reason why I was talking to that other guy was b/c we were starting to talk and I didnt wanna tell you at first b/c I wanted to make sure I actually liked the boy ... I didnt wanna start a relationship with someone who you absolutely didnt like b/c my friends are more important to me ... but that night you guys were talking and laughing and everything was cool and I was really happy that everything was working out .... Can you really just block us out like that, like pretending you never met us? .... Remember that like 3 1/2 page letter I wrote you? yea, that took me all day to write b/c I didnt know what to say to you or how to say it b/c I wanted to make you believe me when I said that I do care about you and love you more than anything ... Do you think that I just write REALLY long letters to everyone I know telling them how much I care? no! ... The only reason why I wanted my necklace back was b/c it was my dads, and the reason why I wanted you of all people to wear it was b/c I thought you really did care about me and love me so much and I felt that you would always be there ... I thought that our friendship was so strong that nothing would ever change ... I guess I was wrong about that one .... Anyway, I just want you to know that I am here and that I will always be here no matter what ... I just wish that we could go back to being as close as we were .... One more thing, on your LJ when you were writing about yourself in your bio you put "I enjoy my small click that no matter what happens it can't possibly fuck up...simply because we all care way too much for each other!" .... I guess you all the sudden feel differently .. But just like you said ... we care way too much about you for things just to F*** up! I love you and I always will ....