Private: Hanako & Sora
I've been viewin' up my situation the past couple of weeks, legit? I missed the MVP's birthday. S'all up in the plans to make it spesch, but I couldn't bring up th' courage to do what I wanted to do. Emotions are runnin' on the lowside about it, fo' sho.
Negative on th' detailside about it and I've been less on the verb about it, but... I've been intellin' on the idea that I don't want to be a tamer anymore. S'all been difficult for me. I'm not like you, yo. I can't haul up th' courage and take on th' world. Verbin' in th' MVP's direction pulls on the heartstrings. He's not a tamer, you know? He's th' #1. He's a digidestined. I can't compare myself to that or live up to it either. MVP's been an inspiration to me my entire life, legit? Even before I viewed or verbed him up for th' first time. I'm intellin' what the Digital World means to him. S'all a part of him. S'all a part of who he is because he's connected to it. It isn't something that'll change, yo. I don't want it to.
Verbin' in confidence, I view up...therapy on it. I'd appreciate it if s'all between us on it because it views on th' downside for the band and for our friends. I'm not okay with them keepin' intell that I'm unstable, legit? That place changed me. We've been workin' through trigs... but s'all slow. Catchin' sleep s'all just as diff. S'all getting less on the nightmares, but I still wake up in sweat which makes trippin' to school harder to give up my attention. I miss drum pick ups with th' band on my turns and s'all noticeable that I'm zoning somewhere else.
I went through a lot before I made friends with you, fo' sho. S'all not something I'm okay with verbing on either. To verb it up that I'd go back to livin' it every day if it meant never having to view up th' Digital World again, I would.
S'all traumatic. S'terrifying.
But for th' MVP, I need to stop being weak because he's s'all on the idea of takin' sides.
I can't be responsible for trippin' him away from something that's s'all a part of what made him him.
I'm straight up scared of everythin', yo. Even verbin' up about my partner brings me to the floor workin' out th' airflow. S'all panic attacks and I'm scared. It feels like I'm goin' nowhere and I can't go to the person I trust because wordplay s'all like viewin' up me stabbing him in the heart over and over. I'm breakin' down lowside and I'm losin' it. I wanted to be fixed for his birthday, legit? Show him that I tripped over th' trauma and got over it, but I lost it out because of th' clock. I just didn't make it, yo. He didn't get somethin' for his birthday on what I was planning 'cause I'm too weak to get over it. He got zero on th' day I was supposed to-- Tai's s'all worth more than that. He deserves more than that. I f-feel sick-- Why can't I be someone he can depend on-- Why can't I brace up an' be brave an' just--