i hate not being happy.
i mean... i really really really hate not being happy.
i don't know why i am so out of it this summer. that is the best way i know how to put it. right now i feel outside my body just watching myself live and i am not happy with who i am right now i guess? i have had fun this summer, sure. if it weren't for a select few of my friends, this summer would have completely sucked so far. it definately hasn't been my favorite so far and i don't really know why. i guess i was just expecting too much out of this summer? i don't know what to do... i still haven't hiked the appalachian trail, but i am going on a road trip on thursday. i am pretty excited to see alyssa, like i can't even explain how excited. then when i come home from florida, i will go up to the beautiful YH for homecoming. it isn't a dance... sick. homecoming at YH is where all the organizations on campus get together and have fun, and do activities, and just hang out with the current members and alumni. me n court are organizing what gamma psi is doing and i can't even wait to see my girls... and my boysssss.
ugh. i wish i could be happpppy. i just want to smile and not worry about anything. i want to escape.... i want to go away by myself with no drama. i don't wanna hear anything negative about anything or anyone. i don't want to be sad, so don't tell me anything sad. i just want to smile. i just want to breathe happiness and peace with everyone and everything.
maybe i should just smoke some pot.