I HATE THIS SHIT!!

[meg14meg14]

So all day, I've been seriously considering moving back home for my senior year of college.  I figured it would save money, I would get to see my family and my friends from home more (my main group of friends), I would get to be around the baby a lot (my sister is having my godson in May).  And plus, I don't have many options as far as living here goes.  So I texted my sister because I text her everyday and I figured she would be able to give me advice on this subject.  My parents are biased because they both want me to live at home for the reasons above.  We talked for a while (she had me on speakerphone with my mom right there and then my dad came over so they both heard a big part of the conversation.  I told my sis ter I had no money at one point during the conversation, and my mom said that if I wanted to come home, she would give me money.  I needed money to get stamps for my sister's invitations, so I agreed, but I told myself that I wouldn't be staying that long at all.  So I went to class and then right after class I got in my car and drove to my house.  I thought my dad might still be there so I didn't bother calling.  I figured I would call him when I left if he wasn't there.  When I got home, my sister was driving him home.  So I figured I'd stop by for a minute on my way home.  I stayed at my house for an hour and watched television, got the money from my mom, and then got ready to leave.  Right as I was leaving, I noticed a missed call from my friend Melissa who I had asked to get dinner with me tonight.  I forgot until I saw that call, and I felt bad because usually she gets dinner early (she's doing her student teaching this semester so she goes to bed early so she eats early).  I called her and asked if she could wait til 7, and I'd be there and we'd eat.  She said okay, but hurry.  It was already 620 and it takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get back depending on traffic so I jumped in my car and raced back to school.  Normally I wouldn't feel that bad but I specifically asked her to wait for me today to get dinner.  So I figured I'd call my dad when I got back from dinner or later tonight.  I've been back here for about 2 hours doing homework and spamming and I get a call from my dad.  I think "no big deal, Ive gone a day without calling him before and he usually calls me" and so I pick up the phone and say hi.  He asks me where I am and then freaks out about me not going to see him.  And then he asks me about something that my mom said to him.  I'm not going to go into specifics, but what happened was my mom told my dad and me something a while ago that wasn't true.  The other day, my mom told my dad that it wasn't true, and that I've known it wasn't true and I didn't say anything to him.  He called me freaking out because I didn't say anything to him, when in fact, I had no idea it wasn't true.  So now I'm mad at my dad for accusing me of knowing this when I didn't and for freaking out at me like he did and I'm mad at my mom for lying to me and then denying it until she was FUCKING BLUE IN THE FACE!!

I normally wouldn't really be so quick and antsy to write all of this, but I want to document it so I can remember how angry I am right now.  This is why I cannot live at home next year!!  They would be doing this to me ALL THE TIME!!  And there would be no way to escape them!  I have to find a place to live, even if I'm living with complete strangers.  I hate that I keep having this problem, but my closest friends are the girls that I went to high school with and have known for years.  They all go to different schools in the area and commute from home, so I spend most of my time at home with them.  I love living on campus, but I'm going to be a senior next year.  All of my friends that go here either have graduated or commute, and my roomate now and I aren't really that much alike at all, so I don't think we'll be living together next year.  And I love my family, especially my big sister, but the shit that my parents put me through is absolutely ridiculous.

So if anyone ever reads me talking about living at home, I want you to SLAP ME and then remind me of this entry please.  Thanks!!  Love you all.