(no subject)
It's all getting to me. I'm not the man I was when I started this job, and I don't know if it's for the better or not. I don't laugh like I used to, and I don't go to the pub as much because I know sometimes when I start drinking I don't stop, and I can't ever tell if today's going to be one of those days. I'm turning jumpy and suspicious of everything, and I always act as though everyone I talk to might be Imperiused. It's getting harder for me to be me, and easier for me to be Alastor. Some days I'm just scared more than anything else that Alice is going to look at me and see I'm not the man-- the boy, really-- she fell in love with, and maybe she won't like this one as much.