(no subject)
today WAS a good day. my nongrads very nicely cooperated and went where they didn't want to go. the rest of the kids were ok. rehearsal was 3 hours of boring and they were pretty well behaved. i'm so not wanting to get up in front of people now. i have no clue what i'm going to wear for graduation. i have to say their names and they are in spanish.
i've had lots of anxiety and thinking about it makes me more anxious because now i know that thoughts become things. and i sure don't want anxiety. but i have to be realistic and know that these practices take time and that i can't punish myself for not doing it perfectly. shit, i just really learned it.
i think it's about money. it usually is. i start out with so much in the bank and by the end of the month it's almost gone. it's like a fucking hourglass and no more is ever gained.
and the wedding is coming and i owe all this money.....
we have enough money for things we want and neeed....we have enough money for things we want and need...we have enough money for things we want and neeed....
and i have to make my tax appointment and every year i put that off more and more because it's SO painful to hear what more i owe.....
and we have enough money we have enough money for things we want and neeed....we have enough money for things we want and need...we have enough money for things we want and neeed....
and the $200 is coming. ...and mom got the fairy wings and princess tiaras for the flower girls to wear at rehearsal. :) and she got a thank you gift for aunika and she's probably going to buy my dress, veil and tiara. and she's hinted about paying for the place. That's $500, but i can't count on it yet.
so much to do and i'm feeling so faint.
bbq was a success and relaxing and my anxiety went away, until we got back onto campus. i feel so restricted there. like i can't breathe. i'm bringing in flowers and plants next year.
tomorrow is more of the same, but cleaning up the room completely.
thursday is graduation and i'm nervous as fuck. will meet mike at work after so that i can pick up my stuff.
friday will go in at 7:30 and already be cleaned up and ready to wait to be signed off. they have breakfast for us.
we're babysitting abby, laura and curtis's doggy. she needs special care because simply running too far can really aggravate her hurt hip. they can't afford the surgery, but as long as she doesn't run, she's ok. she's a sweet doggy and we hope sammy will be welcoming. they are coming down tomorrow and picking her up on tuesday. i'll be in utah on tuesday, but mike will be here.
it's going to be a busy summer, but i'm hoping it will energize me into life agian. i feel like i've been in a coma since we moved here. a little before we moved too. i want to go out more. i want to travel more. i want to feel joy more.
tonight should be nice. it's nice to have no work to take attention away from my family and writing and self.
this is why i need and will one day make a living writing. because it's my passion and it won't suck my joy from me. in fact, it's something that fuels my joy.
how happy life will be when my fuel for life is my passion.
i've had lots of anxiety and thinking about it makes me more anxious because now i know that thoughts become things. and i sure don't want anxiety. but i have to be realistic and know that these practices take time and that i can't punish myself for not doing it perfectly. shit, i just really learned it.
i think it's about money. it usually is. i start out with so much in the bank and by the end of the month it's almost gone. it's like a fucking hourglass and no more is ever gained.
and the wedding is coming and i owe all this money.....
we have enough money for things we want and neeed....we have enough money for things we want and need...we have enough money for things we want and neeed....
and i have to make my tax appointment and every year i put that off more and more because it's SO painful to hear what more i owe.....
and we have enough money we have enough money for things we want and neeed....we have enough money for things we want and need...we have enough money for things we want and neeed....
and the $200 is coming. ...and mom got the fairy wings and princess tiaras for the flower girls to wear at rehearsal. :) and she got a thank you gift for aunika and she's probably going to buy my dress, veil and tiara. and she's hinted about paying for the place. That's $500, but i can't count on it yet.
so much to do and i'm feeling so faint.
bbq was a success and relaxing and my anxiety went away, until we got back onto campus. i feel so restricted there. like i can't breathe. i'm bringing in flowers and plants next year.
tomorrow is more of the same, but cleaning up the room completely.
thursday is graduation and i'm nervous as fuck. will meet mike at work after so that i can pick up my stuff.
friday will go in at 7:30 and already be cleaned up and ready to wait to be signed off. they have breakfast for us.
we're babysitting abby, laura and curtis's doggy. she needs special care because simply running too far can really aggravate her hurt hip. they can't afford the surgery, but as long as she doesn't run, she's ok. she's a sweet doggy and we hope sammy will be welcoming. they are coming down tomorrow and picking her up on tuesday. i'll be in utah on tuesday, but mike will be here.
it's going to be a busy summer, but i'm hoping it will energize me into life agian. i feel like i've been in a coma since we moved here. a little before we moved too. i want to go out more. i want to travel more. i want to feel joy more.
tonight should be nice. it's nice to have no work to take attention away from my family and writing and self.
this is why i need and will one day make a living writing. because it's my passion and it won't suck my joy from me. in fact, it's something that fuels my joy.
how happy life will be when my fuel for life is my passion.