(no subject)
She died the next morning at 4am. I was told at 6:30am when I called my mom once waking up to get ready for work. The family is fighting. I wanted the funeral right off. It's not until fucking mid november. No one cared what worked best for my mom and I's schedule. It was what worked best for everyone else not us. Now my Aunt told my Grandmother I owe her for the GIFTS she GAVE me for me apartment in May! What the fuck?! I would not of accepted anything she gave me if 6 months later I have to pay for it. I could see if it was MONEY or a CHECK but my Aunt never gave me either. Just food, or things for the apartment only. I wrote her an email. All hell will break loose. She will either attack me further or attack my Grandmother saying she never said it and my Grandmother got it wrong.
I want to beat the living shit out of something.
I told Matt I "seriously" loved him. I don't think we are making much progress in communication lately. He does call me usually twice a day though. I love hearing his voice. I want to see him this weekend so badly. This better work out. I told work I can only work until noon Friday then I wont be back until Monday morning. I need an escape. They tried to fire me today. The district manager complained to my boss I was wearing my hoodie over my uniform in the laundry room. So if I'm cold I have to deal with it apparently? I already wear a long sleeved shirt under my work shirt. And I'm in a fucking laundry room. Anyone with common sense should think "there must be something wrong with that girl if she's wearing a hoodie in the laundry room" I dont get enough iron. I'm always cold. Then the district manager told my boss I couldn't have dyed hair. I was fucking ready to cause some shit. I was fucking hired this way. I was told it was fine and to keep my hair back in a pony tail. I asked several times in the interview if my hair was ok because I would not work at a place I had to change my appearance at. This pisses me off to no end. I was so mad I cried and cried and cried and my boss begged me not to quit and said she would try to help me get out of this. The district manager looked at me like I was retarded "why are you so upset about this" and I'm like "my great grandmother died yesterday. I still came in and I'm here today. I'm a good worker. 2 months later you suddenly have a problem with hair I was HIRED with?!" She was pissed off and said it was fine then went on to bitch out my boss about not following rules. My boss asked in time for me to change it. I didn't say yes or no. For $7.50 an hour they can kiss my ass and fire me. I'm not changing myself for that little money. Fuck them. I called the BBB to file a complaint. They gave me a new number to call in the morning and I will for sure you can bet on that. I'll sue them if they fire me for this! Watch out Sheraton. You are fucking with the wrong girl.
All I want is Matthew <3
I'm getting coke Friday & Baby percs Saturday. I'm going to the bar & casino Friday night like usual too. Hopefully will be with Matthew Saturday night. Or have him stay with me Friday night then me with him Saturday night. I just want to be with him so badly. Nothing I want more.
Jefferson called me.. He fucking came to Bangor for 2 hours during his trip to Maine but didn't call me because he couldn't ditch who he was with and thought I probably wouldn't of been around anyways. He claims he is coming back in 3 weeks and will be here for several months.. We will see..
I'm going to have to end up picking between Matthew & Jefferson.. I bet it.. This sucks.. But for now Matthew is at least in Maine.. 30 minutes away so he's my #1 for now.
I am so sick of crying. I am so sick of hurting. I miss my Great Grandmother so much. She knows the truth. She knows I don't owe my Aunt shit but she can't defend me.. she isn't here :( She was the only sweet one in this family who wasn't nasty. I am just having a hard time coping. I broke down at work not just because they were trying to fire me but because of my Grammy dying and everything being thrown at me all at once. Then my Grandmother tells me I owe my fucking aunt for gifts. My Grandmother pisses me off. She is way too nice to her bitch of a sister. I can't wait for this whole thing to be over. I don't want to talk to my aunt again unless she kisses my ass over the email I sent. I'm fucking done being taken advantage of by this family..
I don't think its going to get any easier.. I can't wait for my drinking/drug bender this weekend..
I spent over $100 on stuff for the critters today. I hope it lasts awhile.
I want to beat the living shit out of something.
I told Matt I "seriously" loved him. I don't think we are making much progress in communication lately. He does call me usually twice a day though. I love hearing his voice. I want to see him this weekend so badly. This better work out. I told work I can only work until noon Friday then I wont be back until Monday morning. I need an escape. They tried to fire me today. The district manager complained to my boss I was wearing my hoodie over my uniform in the laundry room. So if I'm cold I have to deal with it apparently? I already wear a long sleeved shirt under my work shirt. And I'm in a fucking laundry room. Anyone with common sense should think "there must be something wrong with that girl if she's wearing a hoodie in the laundry room" I dont get enough iron. I'm always cold. Then the district manager told my boss I couldn't have dyed hair. I was fucking ready to cause some shit. I was fucking hired this way. I was told it was fine and to keep my hair back in a pony tail. I asked several times in the interview if my hair was ok because I would not work at a place I had to change my appearance at. This pisses me off to no end. I was so mad I cried and cried and cried and my boss begged me not to quit and said she would try to help me get out of this. The district manager looked at me like I was retarded "why are you so upset about this" and I'm like "my great grandmother died yesterday. I still came in and I'm here today. I'm a good worker. 2 months later you suddenly have a problem with hair I was HIRED with?!" She was pissed off and said it was fine then went on to bitch out my boss about not following rules. My boss asked in time for me to change it. I didn't say yes or no. For $7.50 an hour they can kiss my ass and fire me. I'm not changing myself for that little money. Fuck them. I called the BBB to file a complaint. They gave me a new number to call in the morning and I will for sure you can bet on that. I'll sue them if they fire me for this! Watch out Sheraton. You are fucking with the wrong girl.
All I want is Matthew <3
I'm getting coke Friday & Baby percs Saturday. I'm going to the bar & casino Friday night like usual too. Hopefully will be with Matthew Saturday night. Or have him stay with me Friday night then me with him Saturday night. I just want to be with him so badly. Nothing I want more.
Jefferson called me.. He fucking came to Bangor for 2 hours during his trip to Maine but didn't call me because he couldn't ditch who he was with and thought I probably wouldn't of been around anyways. He claims he is coming back in 3 weeks and will be here for several months.. We will see..
I'm going to have to end up picking between Matthew & Jefferson.. I bet it.. This sucks.. But for now Matthew is at least in Maine.. 30 minutes away so he's my #1 for now.
I am so sick of crying. I am so sick of hurting. I miss my Great Grandmother so much. She knows the truth. She knows I don't owe my Aunt shit but she can't defend me.. she isn't here :( She was the only sweet one in this family who wasn't nasty. I am just having a hard time coping. I broke down at work not just because they were trying to fire me but because of my Grammy dying and everything being thrown at me all at once. Then my Grandmother tells me I owe my fucking aunt for gifts. My Grandmother pisses me off. She is way too nice to her bitch of a sister. I can't wait for this whole thing to be over. I don't want to talk to my aunt again unless she kisses my ass over the email I sent. I'm fucking done being taken advantage of by this family..
I don't think its going to get any easier.. I can't wait for my drinking/drug bender this weekend..
I spent over $100 on stuff for the critters today. I hope it lasts awhile.