(no subject)
I haven’t been updating. I’m back at school, classes have started, I guess that’s all good.
I had this private meeting with David Newbury, my African Studies professor from last semester, and Rebecca, one of the students that I went to Niger with, today. I arrived about twelve minutes early, and by the time Rebecca had arrived, I was a mess. I had barely choked out three words before I started sobbing uncontrollably in front of my professor. Note that he is someone who I admire and this was entirely embarrassing in the first place.
Another strange thing is that I haven’t cried in public about what happened since I left the hospital. When I cried in the hospital, it was because I missed my friends in Niger first and foremost, and then the physical pain. And if I had a choice, there would not have been any nurses or family there to see my tears. But I have talked about what happened in Africa since then with several people, mostly friends here, and I have been completely together.
I was really touched by how understanding David was. In retrospect, I think that may be why this all happened. I knew that he was the only one who could even come close to understanding. He didn’t even need to speak to convey his empathy. Sometimes you can just feel emotions in the air, and his presence provided this supportive haven where I could express every drop of sorrow. I cried because I missed my friends, because of the pain I felt, because of the pain that I continue to feel in being sick, and because I caused so much grief for my loved ones.
Most of all, I cried because I felt alone in all of this until I saw his face.
I had this private meeting with David Newbury, my African Studies professor from last semester, and Rebecca, one of the students that I went to Niger with, today. I arrived about twelve minutes early, and by the time Rebecca had arrived, I was a mess. I had barely choked out three words before I started sobbing uncontrollably in front of my professor. Note that he is someone who I admire and this was entirely embarrassing in the first place.
Another strange thing is that I haven’t cried in public about what happened since I left the hospital. When I cried in the hospital, it was because I missed my friends in Niger first and foremost, and then the physical pain. And if I had a choice, there would not have been any nurses or family there to see my tears. But I have talked about what happened in Africa since then with several people, mostly friends here, and I have been completely together.
I was really touched by how understanding David was. In retrospect, I think that may be why this all happened. I knew that he was the only one who could even come close to understanding. He didn’t even need to speak to convey his empathy. Sometimes you can just feel emotions in the air, and his presence provided this supportive haven where I could express every drop of sorrow. I cried because I missed my friends, because of the pain I felt, because of the pain that I continue to feel in being sick, and because I caused so much grief for my loved ones.
Most of all, I cried because I felt alone in all of this until I saw his face.