Frakkin' Yankees!
Last Tuesday, before I left the Big SinkHole town, the weather gods decided to punish me with a series of nasty thunderstorms. Not that thunder, lightning, hail, flood or flickering lights can upset me.
However, the chaos that follows such occurrences in this neck of the woods can render any self-respecting Houstonian more crazy that pencil a shoved in her ear!
Because, when lights flicker and flooding happens, these frakkin' yankees -- who already are incapable of understanding basic driving rules -- lose whatever sense they had in the first place when they get behind the wheel. "Oh hey," they say to their unwitting passengers, "let's drive through that puddle. It can't be too deep!" And promptly drive their car off the road into a ditch of fast-running water. Another couple of drivers say, "Sure, this is the only underpass in the area. And I know that it's well below street level. But I'm also sure that the two or three inches of rain that's fallen in the last hour won't have filled it with water!" And they promptly dive into the lake at the base of the overpass.
But really, that's not this Houstonian's problem. If they're too stupid to stick to the dryer parts of the road, then there will be fewer idiots to get in my way! (It's simply a fine example of how stupid these folks can be.)
On the other hand, when one combines the idiocy of the highway department with the incompetence of local drivers...you get this scenario:
Imagine the very busy Rt 114 with three lanes running in each direction. The equally busy 4-lane Sylvan Street that intersects Rt 114 at an odd angle. A power outtage. And street lights that don't return to flashing red in all directions. Nope, in their infinite wisdom, the highway department has set the lights to flash red on Sylvan and flash yellow on Rt 114.
Taking into account that these frakkin' yankees are incapable of understanding right-of-way, and that they ignore yellow and red lights at the best of times, this scenario calls for more chaos than usual on the road. Some drivers stopped for the flashing yellow on Rt 114. Others never slowed down for the light. Whenever an opening occurred on Rt 114, the traffic from Sylvan flowed through with 4, 5, 10 cars at a time as if they had a green -- causing drivers on Rt 114 to slip and slide to a halt at the yellow.
Now, imagine the Evil Twin's screaming frustration in trying to maneuver through this insanity. I hate them. I hate them all.
I want all driver's education instructors and parents in this area to be keel-hauled for encouraging this behavior. And everyone at the highway department who makes traffic light decisions should be fired. In fact, just sack them all--some of their co-workers must be responsible for the sorry-ass signage in the area.
Maybe then I'll be satisfied.
Dammit.
However, the chaos that follows such occurrences in this neck of the woods can render any self-respecting Houstonian more crazy that pencil a shoved in her ear!
Because, when lights flicker and flooding happens, these frakkin' yankees -- who already are incapable of understanding basic driving rules -- lose whatever sense they had in the first place when they get behind the wheel. "Oh hey," they say to their unwitting passengers, "let's drive through that puddle. It can't be too deep!" And promptly drive their car off the road into a ditch of fast-running water. Another couple of drivers say, "Sure, this is the only underpass in the area. And I know that it's well below street level. But I'm also sure that the two or three inches of rain that's fallen in the last hour won't have filled it with water!" And they promptly dive into the lake at the base of the overpass.
But really, that's not this Houstonian's problem. If they're too stupid to stick to the dryer parts of the road, then there will be fewer idiots to get in my way! (It's simply a fine example of how stupid these folks can be.)
On the other hand, when one combines the idiocy of the highway department with the incompetence of local drivers...you get this scenario:
Imagine the very busy Rt 114 with three lanes running in each direction. The equally busy 4-lane Sylvan Street that intersects Rt 114 at an odd angle. A power outtage. And street lights that don't return to flashing red in all directions. Nope, in their infinite wisdom, the highway department has set the lights to flash red on Sylvan and flash yellow on Rt 114.
Taking into account that these frakkin' yankees are incapable of understanding right-of-way, and that they ignore yellow and red lights at the best of times, this scenario calls for more chaos than usual on the road. Some drivers stopped for the flashing yellow on Rt 114. Others never slowed down for the light. Whenever an opening occurred on Rt 114, the traffic from Sylvan flowed through with 4, 5, 10 cars at a time as if they had a green -- causing drivers on Rt 114 to slip and slide to a halt at the yellow.
Now, imagine the Evil Twin's screaming frustration in trying to maneuver through this insanity. I hate them. I hate them all.
I want all driver's education instructors and parents in this area to be keel-hauled for encouraging this behavior. And everyone at the highway department who makes traffic light decisions should be fired. In fact, just sack them all--some of their co-workers must be responsible for the sorry-ass signage in the area.
Maybe then I'll be satisfied.
Dammit.