It's easy to be brave during the day (or, cancer sucks)
So today I got to have my chest x-ray, an ekg and blood drawn in preparation for Friday. The hospital staff was very nice.
I am flip flopping: fearful one minute and full of questions,ignoring the entire situation the next. Honestly, though, this whole thing is never far from my mind. My folks are both here. Neither could make it out for my knee surgery in March 2010. I guess this is really happening. I wonder how the procedure will affect me afterwards. The thought of looking at my reflection and seeing nothing and having nothing to fill one of my bra cups is unsettling to say the least, but I think it is the right thing to do. My sister keeps coming up with funny tattoos to get since they can't save the nipple. She's crazy. I think the latest is a fairy holding a flower (or a tattoo nipple) or something like that. But she makes me laugh, and that's what I need right now. She's also suggested a rose, a butterfly, and a portrait of herself with a tattooed arrow in the other boob pointing toward it. The girl is nuts...
BJ is worried. He knows I'm having an operation. I'm trying to play it down for him. But he's a smart kid, and even if I don't come out and say it, he senses that I'm scared. It's a blessing to be able to have my folks here to keep him occupied. He doesn't get to see them often, and the look on his face when he saw my mother was here when he returned from NC last month was priceless. He and Dad had the great tic tac toe tournament at dinner. I think B won the series. Wonder when the rematch will be.
Off topic, but I need to say this: exes suck too! Mine texted me at 3 in the morning to tell me when he was going to bring B home from camping tonight. That started the worry machine that is my brain and got it churning regarding what I need to do with regard to work and college. And the damn thing didn't shut off until 5:30! So I have to thank him for that. At least he hasn't brought raising my rent back up. That was Saturday's text conversation. But he doesn't want to cause me additional stress. Someone needs a reality check.
Anyway... Friday. I'll get to the hospital around 7:30 - ugh. I am terrible at adhering to a bedtime in the summer. And surgery should be done by lunch time, I guess. They're keeping me at the hospital overnight. I bought a body pillow for when I come home Sat. since I'm a side sleeper and I'm sure I can't sleep on the side with the drains.
That's the latest and it's late. My manuscript for is still lying here waiting for me to get back to work on the remaining edits. Night all!
I am flip flopping: fearful one minute and full of questions,ignoring the entire situation the next. Honestly, though, this whole thing is never far from my mind. My folks are both here. Neither could make it out for my knee surgery in March 2010. I guess this is really happening. I wonder how the procedure will affect me afterwards. The thought of looking at my reflection and seeing nothing and having nothing to fill one of my bra cups is unsettling to say the least, but I think it is the right thing to do. My sister keeps coming up with funny tattoos to get since they can't save the nipple. She's crazy. I think the latest is a fairy holding a flower (or a tattoo nipple) or something like that. But she makes me laugh, and that's what I need right now. She's also suggested a rose, a butterfly, and a portrait of herself with a tattooed arrow in the other boob pointing toward it. The girl is nuts...
BJ is worried. He knows I'm having an operation. I'm trying to play it down for him. But he's a smart kid, and even if I don't come out and say it, he senses that I'm scared. It's a blessing to be able to have my folks here to keep him occupied. He doesn't get to see them often, and the look on his face when he saw my mother was here when he returned from NC last month was priceless. He and Dad had the great tic tac toe tournament at dinner. I think B won the series. Wonder when the rematch will be.
Off topic, but I need to say this: exes suck too! Mine texted me at 3 in the morning to tell me when he was going to bring B home from camping tonight. That started the worry machine that is my brain and got it churning regarding what I need to do with regard to work and college. And the damn thing didn't shut off until 5:30! So I have to thank him for that. At least he hasn't brought raising my rent back up. That was Saturday's text conversation. But he doesn't want to cause me additional stress. Someone needs a reality check.
Anyway... Friday. I'll get to the hospital around 7:30 - ugh. I am terrible at adhering to a bedtime in the summer. And surgery should be done by lunch time, I guess. They're keeping me at the hospital overnight. I bought a body pillow for when I come home Sat. since I'm a side sleeper and I'm sure I can't sleep on the side with the drains.
That's the latest and it's late. My manuscript for is still lying here waiting for me to get back to work on the remaining edits. Night all!