I have to use an infant hairbrush!
Before I forget, Happy Easter, everyone!
And yes, my hair is actually beginning to stick out because the pillows have mashed it, so I have recruited B’s baby hairbrush to help tame the stubborn hairs that like to go their own way (it had been tucked in a drawer forgotten). Not that it works, but I try. I wonder if it means that the waves are going to return, instead of smooth, straight hair. I’ve heard that hair sometimes comes back different than it was. I was hoping for straight instead of curls and no grays. Well, the grays are the worst offenders for sticking out on their own. Scratch that wish. Only time will tell on the curliness. Right now, it looks like the hair wants to lie down instead of be buzz-cutty, but it’s nowhere near heavy enough to do that. It’s long enough for me to grab and pull, but I don’t think anyone would ever get close enough to get a hold of it because it’s still so short.
Radiation has been officially done for about 10 days. I itch, I'm peeling and part of the burn is disturbingly maroon in color. But the pain is less and some red areas appear to be shrinking, so onward we go. Preferably with a pillow under my head. I can't seem to shake the fatigue. Yesterday, I felt really good. Today, a quiet no-driving-anywhere Easter was perfect. I haven't updated this journal because I've been too tired to put the thoughts together.
The pharmacy has to call the doctor tomorrow because Tamoxifen doesn't come in the strength he prescribed. Once that starts, I have more hot flashes to look forward to. Yippee. But it works, both science and lots of breast cancer survivors say it does. Right now the plan is for 5 years, but the research is continual, so who knows. 2 years, 5, 5+; I just do what the doctors tell me. I see the radiation oncologist May 1 and the medical oncologist May 11.
So what did I do this week since I didn't have an appointment every day? Well, I had a sick child home with me Wed. & Thurs. Appointments Tuesday and Friday. And Easter today. We stayed home, had a special dinner. B's dad came for the Easter egg hunt and breakfast, but he couldn't stay, which bummed B out. He's had a rough few years, and he's only 9. He really wanted his father to stay this morning, but he didn't. It's frustrating to have such a good kid and an ex who just doesn't get it.
I have been busily editing an old manuscript. I write YA, often paranormal romance. A few weeks ago I was sitting around, trying to not fall asleep (I had to stay awake to pick B up from school and head over to rads), thinking about the kinds of stories I write/want to write. I've read so many articles that say "write what you're passionate about." I agree. If you don't like your characters, or your storyline, why bother writing? I have friends who wish I would write different stories. I know there are so many of these stories on the shelves. But I gave myself permission to write about the characters I want to, so there will be vampire, or vampire hunter/slayer, stories. There will be werewolves. Possibly in the same story. At some point, aliens might land. I've got an angel character marinating and I'm keeping him in my thoughts, but this particular story is vampire-centric. I wrote the first draft when I was laid up with a knee injury 4 years ago. There have been periods when I wanted nothing to do with the main characters and the story sat over a year between my initial revisions and picking it up again. But I wasn't ready to share it then. 2010 changed that. Sure, it was my sister who read it first, but if she hadn't liked it, she wouldn't have told me she did. I fixed a lot of the technical errors she found (changing from 1st to 3rd person will tend to leave I's and me's hanging around where he/she/it should be, especially without looking at a hard copy. Another writer friend has been great about pointing out things that needed to be clarified (Thanks, Nancy! I promise to get some more chapters to you, sorry I dropped the ball).
I've been writing stories since junior high, but only a few people have ever read any of them. This whole cancer thing has kind of changed my perspective and I think someday is today (thanks, Ed, I haven't forgotten you said that before all the craziness started). My plans fell a little behind the time schedule I had decided on for this particular story last year, and since then my plans have changed, but there are plans. Mom knows all about them, and has told many people what's in store.
And speaking of the story, Cupcake Wars is over, so it's time to go hunt down some more sentences that should be rewritten.