fuck today : )
things seem to be going and going and going, and going not where exactly I would like them to but life just keeps going
yet again I am working a job that I pretty much hate to support myself and another
its hard my feet ache and my lower back ACHE everyday afterwards,
its mundane mindfucking work that a monkey could do after a day
so I try to do extra things to ease my mind but in tern I am just creating extra work for myself
then the work politics come in
people see me doing extra things and become mad I make them look bad
I see my manager absolutely not doing her job and treating me poorly
then my other manager see this too and confides in me to conspire against this manager to the HEAD manager
and the politics go on and on but not important enough to type, I HATE this shit
i go to work to work and get my job done
like i say everyday to myself I cant wait to be my own boss, and work for ME
the people that have found themselves apart of my life seem to be on my mind a lot lately
i cant seem to stop thinking/worrying about people that I once loved that are now sooooooo lost
sometimes i selfishly wonder why I have to be the one that actually cares
i try and tried so hard for rachel, and yet i still feel so sad for her and worry and wonder why her?
i honestly still think about steph and worry and wonder why she has absolutely shut me out of her new life?
i feel so conflicted about t and hurt and fed up, and basically i feel like i cant deal with it anymore
my mama is depressed and it hurts me to see her mind so closed and her so unhappy
i want to go on and vent and write more
writting always eases my mind and makes me feel better but later when i go back and read it i feel like a fool but whateves
i must go tend to my ever so adding car troubles
my radaiadaaaaterrrrrrrrrr is out and has to be replaced today, and it is now past 11:00 no buenoooo
yet again I am working a job that I pretty much hate to support myself and another
its hard my feet ache and my lower back ACHE everyday afterwards,
its mundane mindfucking work that a monkey could do after a day
so I try to do extra things to ease my mind but in tern I am just creating extra work for myself
then the work politics come in
people see me doing extra things and become mad I make them look bad
I see my manager absolutely not doing her job and treating me poorly
then my other manager see this too and confides in me to conspire against this manager to the HEAD manager
and the politics go on and on but not important enough to type, I HATE this shit
i go to work to work and get my job done
like i say everyday to myself I cant wait to be my own boss, and work for ME
the people that have found themselves apart of my life seem to be on my mind a lot lately
i cant seem to stop thinking/worrying about people that I once loved that are now sooooooo lost
sometimes i selfishly wonder why I have to be the one that actually cares
i try and tried so hard for rachel, and yet i still feel so sad for her and worry and wonder why her?
i honestly still think about steph and worry and wonder why she has absolutely shut me out of her new life?
i feel so conflicted about t and hurt and fed up, and basically i feel like i cant deal with it anymore
my mama is depressed and it hurts me to see her mind so closed and her so unhappy
i want to go on and vent and write more
writting always eases my mind and makes me feel better but later when i go back and read it i feel like a fool but whateves
i must go tend to my ever so adding car troubles
my radaiadaaaaterrrrrrrrrr is out and has to be replaced today, and it is now past 11:00 no buenoooo