Sampling from myself
First, I will note that Livejournal keeps trying to get me to use the "new" editor... I have no idea how many years it has existed at this point. But I refuse to use it.
But I have been on Livejournal since 2000.
so I was going to make a post about my pain, which, again, kind of bores me, because it really hasn't been doing anything new. I mean, it's there. It's not going away. I don't expect it to go away. I do get nasty muscle spasms every so often, but that (so far) has been rare-ish.
I was going to name the post "Life is pain", but I figured I must have made such a post already.
I have. Five years ago.
But it has come to the point that there is never absence of pain - it's just where it is, and its intensity. What amuses me is that I haven't noticed having pain on =both= sides of my body at the same time. It's always lopsided.
I don't feel like quoting more.
But what is interesting to me is what I found from the "before times". I have had chronic pain since 2010. But what popped up when I searched on "life is pain" that got me pre-2010 entries... hmmm.
From 2001: my dinner with meepe
i just saw "my dinner with andre" on the sundance channel.
damn.
so now 3 of my favorite movies have wallace shawn in them: the princess bride, clueless, and my dinner with andre. there's only one other movie i can think of in that league right now, murder, my sweet, but i rather suspect mr. shawn was a child when that movie was made, so i can't really hold that against him.
i swear, i switched to the movie about 30 minutes into it to use as a holder while i was looking for a show that would start on the hour (only 10 minutes to go). i started listening, it was during the point that andre is talking about "the little prince" (i believe i've got it in 4 languages... esperanto, english, japanese, and french. actually, i might have it in latin as well. if nothing else, i have winnie-the-pooh and house at pooh corner in latin) and i started listening in. let me tell you, i know that mst3k pissed off brad and some others because there were so many refs they didn't get (and i just treat that as a challenge), but damn if i didn't know every fucking thing they were talking about. the situation so reminded me of many dinners i've had, or midnight road trips with ryan, or just sitting around playing magic ("i thought you were talking about computers"). and so much of the movie is pertinent to me =now= because alot of it is about marriage (ok, you might not see it, but i sure see it)
paragraph break needed? ha! i have total contempt for the reader.
anyway, the situation reminds me of so much of livejournal in many ways. and my times at mathcamp. and my life at catt (surprisingly, my life at s&m wasn't near anything like this). and most importantly, it reminds me what i miss about my dad. (which reminds me, i'm going to the doctor on wednesday to check out these suspicious chest pains...it may just be stress, but dammit i want an ekg.)
anyway, i should wrap this up. i just want to mention much of this makes me think of hanging out at my aunt patti's, with me as wally and aunt patti as andre.
those who know me, if you ever watch it, tell me which one you think i or you are. because i could see certain people seeing me as andre, but i think most would agree i was wally.
Yeah, I'm Wally.
From 2006: A light
A very interesting post from Maxed Out Mama, about pain, life, and light.
What comes to mind, in reading this post, is a character from Charles Dickens =Our=Mutual=Friend=, a young girl who is crippled and often in pain - but she sees a light when she's in pain, and hears children asking her to play with them, and smells flowers (in her dank, urban home). I think sometimes she heard birds, too. It was interesting - for all her troubles - an alcoholic father, her poverty, her loneliness, her pain and handicap - she was the character most full of life in the entire book. She was the one who also had the clearest view of what was going on with Lizzie Hexam, and her relationships with various men in her life: Lizzie's brother Charley, Charley's headmaster (can't remember the name right now - Bradley Headstone?), and Eugene Wrayburn (an indolent lawyer of no business, who was brought up to be useless.)
The girl was very interesting also in her occupation - she made fancy dresses for dolls for the pampered upper middle class. She would toddle around town with her crutch to catch glimpses of the upper classes and their fancy clothes so that she could replicate it in her dolls. She got a pretty shrewd idea of people, though she is snowed at one point by a schemer who intends to undermine (and does undermine) the girl's friendship with a kindly old Jewish man, Mr. Riah. But by the end, all is well for her, and we are given hope of a suitor for her (a mildly retarded young man, who is also good with handiwork - he does carpentry.)
More on life: Kinda creepy (from Ari) -- Noah Kalina, every day, for 6 and a half years. It would be more interesting, in a way, to do this with Diarmuid, as he's only 3 months old. I've done year-to-year comparisons of Maureen before. But when you're in adulthood, the changes are really subtle - a haircut, a new pair of glasses, gain or lose a little weight, get some sun - in childhood, the changes come fast and furious, though you can see much that has stayed the same. Sisters old, sisters later, and even later -- not much of a difference, eh?
There's a bunch of stuff going on in there, because Sloppy, the "mildly retarded young man" I refer to, reminds me kind of D.
Though D is the youngest, I probably took the most pictures of him compared to the girls, for a variety of practical reasons. One of the reasons is that he's a total ham.
FWIW, I have not experienced the light that the character, who I didn't name, did. Not that way, at least. She went by the name of Jenny Wren, professionally. She considered it a bit more commercial than Fanny Cleaver, her actual name.
Her father died in the DTs, and it was a sad death. She really had no illusions about her father. She was seriously disabled and had to work to feed herself and try to prevent her dad from killing himself, but ultimately she was unsuccessful from unlucky chance (as main characters in the plot gave him money by which he drank himself to death... reminds me of the increase of alcohol-related deaths during the pandemic, as "stimulus/relief" checks were sent out.)
But I have been on Livejournal since 2000.
so I was going to make a post about my pain, which, again, kind of bores me, because it really hasn't been doing anything new. I mean, it's there. It's not going away. I don't expect it to go away. I do get nasty muscle spasms every so often, but that (so far) has been rare-ish.
I was going to name the post "Life is pain", but I figured I must have made such a post already.
I have. Five years ago.
But it has come to the point that there is never absence of pain - it's just where it is, and its intensity. What amuses me is that I haven't noticed having pain on =both= sides of my body at the same time. It's always lopsided.
I don't feel like quoting more.
But what is interesting to me is what I found from the "before times". I have had chronic pain since 2010. But what popped up when I searched on "life is pain" that got me pre-2010 entries... hmmm.
From 2001: my dinner with meepe
i just saw "my dinner with andre" on the sundance channel.
damn.
so now 3 of my favorite movies have wallace shawn in them: the princess bride, clueless, and my dinner with andre. there's only one other movie i can think of in that league right now, murder, my sweet, but i rather suspect mr. shawn was a child when that movie was made, so i can't really hold that against him.
i swear, i switched to the movie about 30 minutes into it to use as a holder while i was looking for a show that would start on the hour (only 10 minutes to go). i started listening, it was during the point that andre is talking about "the little prince" (i believe i've got it in 4 languages... esperanto, english, japanese, and french. actually, i might have it in latin as well. if nothing else, i have winnie-the-pooh and house at pooh corner in latin) and i started listening in. let me tell you, i know that mst3k pissed off brad and some others because there were so many refs they didn't get (and i just treat that as a challenge), but damn if i didn't know every fucking thing they were talking about. the situation so reminded me of many dinners i've had, or midnight road trips with ryan, or just sitting around playing magic ("i thought you were talking about computers"). and so much of the movie is pertinent to me =now= because alot of it is about marriage (ok, you might not see it, but i sure see it)
paragraph break needed? ha! i have total contempt for the reader.
anyway, the situation reminds me of so much of livejournal in many ways. and my times at mathcamp. and my life at catt (surprisingly, my life at s&m wasn't near anything like this). and most importantly, it reminds me what i miss about my dad. (which reminds me, i'm going to the doctor on wednesday to check out these suspicious chest pains...it may just be stress, but dammit i want an ekg.)
anyway, i should wrap this up. i just want to mention much of this makes me think of hanging out at my aunt patti's, with me as wally and aunt patti as andre.
those who know me, if you ever watch it, tell me which one you think i or you are. because i could see certain people seeing me as andre, but i think most would agree i was wally.
Yeah, I'm Wally.
From 2006: A light
A very interesting post from Maxed Out Mama, about pain, life, and light.
What comes to mind, in reading this post, is a character from Charles Dickens =Our=Mutual=Friend=, a young girl who is crippled and often in pain - but she sees a light when she's in pain, and hears children asking her to play with them, and smells flowers (in her dank, urban home). I think sometimes she heard birds, too. It was interesting - for all her troubles - an alcoholic father, her poverty, her loneliness, her pain and handicap - she was the character most full of life in the entire book. She was the one who also had the clearest view of what was going on with Lizzie Hexam, and her relationships with various men in her life: Lizzie's brother Charley, Charley's headmaster (can't remember the name right now - Bradley Headstone?), and Eugene Wrayburn (an indolent lawyer of no business, who was brought up to be useless.)
The girl was very interesting also in her occupation - she made fancy dresses for dolls for the pampered upper middle class. She would toddle around town with her crutch to catch glimpses of the upper classes and their fancy clothes so that she could replicate it in her dolls. She got a pretty shrewd idea of people, though she is snowed at one point by a schemer who intends to undermine (and does undermine) the girl's friendship with a kindly old Jewish man, Mr. Riah. But by the end, all is well for her, and we are given hope of a suitor for her (a mildly retarded young man, who is also good with handiwork - he does carpentry.)
More on life: Kinda creepy (from Ari) -- Noah Kalina, every day, for 6 and a half years. It would be more interesting, in a way, to do this with Diarmuid, as he's only 3 months old. I've done year-to-year comparisons of Maureen before. But when you're in adulthood, the changes are really subtle - a haircut, a new pair of glasses, gain or lose a little weight, get some sun - in childhood, the changes come fast and furious, though you can see much that has stayed the same. Sisters old, sisters later, and even later -- not much of a difference, eh?
There's a bunch of stuff going on in there, because Sloppy, the "mildly retarded young man" I refer to, reminds me kind of D.
Though D is the youngest, I probably took the most pictures of him compared to the girls, for a variety of practical reasons. One of the reasons is that he's a total ham.
FWIW, I have not experienced the light that the character, who I didn't name, did. Not that way, at least. She went by the name of Jenny Wren, professionally. She considered it a bit more commercial than Fanny Cleaver, her actual name.
Her father died in the DTs, and it was a sad death. She really had no illusions about her father. She was seriously disabled and had to work to feed herself and try to prevent her dad from killing himself, but ultimately she was unsuccessful from unlucky chance (as main characters in the plot gave him money by which he drank himself to death... reminds me of the increase of alcohol-related deaths during the pandemic, as "stimulus/relief" checks were sent out.)