I knew it was coming. I just didn't realize it would be so soon. Me neither. It all kind of came together on Monday. Hopefully the fic isn't too shit, because I totally slapped it together in a really lazy manner.
I'm glad you enjoyed Chloe's little cameo. She's a pretty naughty girl a lot of the time (she gets this from her aunt), and she totally ships Alex/Tony already. She's just DYING to meet him, and is insanely jealous of Ben for getting to hang out with them all day long.
Alex loves at the very least six thousand different things about Tony. I figure at this stage she'd be cool with admitting this fact to herself. And the finger-crossing thing might not be completely in character for someone like Alex, but it's something I'm constantly doing myself, so I thought I'd throw it in there. It's cute, huh?
Here, have some bandaids for your stabby-stabby fangirly heart. I never meant to wound your delicate sensibilities with such unnecessary cruelty.
I can't help but think that Alex's FEELINGS would at some point blow up as anger, especially at her dad and Jago. She's just so damn affected by how she feels about Tony; it's like when he's all "what's wrong?" in 6.02, and she's "NO NO NO IT'S NOTHING I SWEAR. I SWEAR I DON'T FANCY YOU, NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I'M TOTALLY FINE." It's so obvious that how she feels about him is clouding absolutely everything she does and making it impossible for her to concentrate on the case, and I think that the same thing would be happening while she's with her family. She's completely stuck on Tony, and can't get her head around anything else. Also, it's occurred to me that 'Dancing Dirt Into The Snow' would make a rather nice Chloe song; the second-person perspective fits nicely with Chloe watching her aunt and feeling a bit helpless.
I still haven't completely decided whether Alex outright asked Tony to come, or whether he suggested it and she jumped on the idea. I'm leaning toward the latter. I don't think she's quite confident enough at that low point to ask him to be there for her, but I definitely think that if he suggested he wanted to be there, she'd be breathing the biggest sigh of relief, and might even say something about being needing him there, in a not too obvious way. Also, he is the one person she doesn't have to watch herself with: God yes, this is it exactly, and I love it. She's so put together, so brilliant and strong and stubborn and all of that, but it's so fantastic that she's realised that she doesn't have to be like that all the time, and definitely not with him. It goes back to that squeeful discussion we're having elsewhere about Tony being wonderful and not even understanding the concept of pettiness or spite; I can see Alex worrying that if she appears not totally strong and in control in front of something that they might one day turn round and throw it back in her face (I'm thinking Gabriel might've done this on occasion), and the basic fact of it is that doing this would never even occur to Tony. He truly appreciates that she has this sensitive, fragile part of her, and he even seems to want encourage her to share it sometimes, because he knows it's good for her to rely on someone else at times. Gah. I love Tony Hill.
she wants nothing more than to fall into him and let everything else fade away This is pretty much all I want for her too. How about you?
The fic wasn't shit at all! I enjoyed it immensely. I will forever be impressed by your ability to write such lovely stuff relatively quickly. It is not a skill I share. I do adore that Chloe has a bit of a mean streak especially when it comes to teasing Alex about her love life.
Awww! So cute that you do the finger crossing in your pocket thing. I can see Alex doing it but never admitting to anyone and flat out denying it if say Tony noticed and called her on it. And, I totally agree that at this stage she's pretty much a total mushball in her head about him and would have no problem admitting to herself that she loved 6,000+ things about him.
Well you did! You did wound my delicate sensibilities, Amelia! You made me feel all weepy and sad that their squeeful moment was interrupted by tragedy. And never mind that the WitB writers did it first, I BLAME YOU FOR BRINGING IT BACK UP AND WRITING IT IN SUCH A HEARTBREAKING WAY. *lip quivers as I attempt to give you the evil eye but accept the offered bandaids anyway*
I do think an eruption of anger would be quite likely for Alex at this point. She's got so many contradictory FEELINGS floating around in her head right now - grief over her mother, mad love for Tony, angst/loneliness at being away from him, concern for her family and probably concern about whatever is going on with Tony (She knows something is up after she called and Kevin was there, yeah? She may not know it all but I bet she's fretting like crazy.) And, when she's got that much going on, there's very little chance that she won't explode with misdirected anger at some point. Poor dear. (And "Dancing Dirt Into Snow" is rather perfect for this especially that "to hide the little girl that crying, underneath the rage that you let others see.")
You know, I've always assumed coming to the funeral was Tony's idea. I think he either called and asked her or found the details some other way and just showed up on his own. I think you're right that she desperately wanted him there but wasn't in a place where she would have asked him to come herself. If he did call and offer though there's no doubt in my mind that she would have been so relieved that she'd have made it painfully obvious that yes she wanted and needed him there even if she wasn't willing to say it outright.
Yes, that's it exactly. She can get by perfectly well (Well, with the ocassional FEELINGsplosion.) on her own and has gotten used to doing so. But she's realized that she doesn't have to do it all on her own when Tony's around and I wonder if being away from him to be with her family really drove home to her the fact that, not only does she not need to get through things on her own anymore, she doesn't want to. That realization probably just sent the FEELINGS further into overdrive.
I agree that Alex probably does worry about showing weakness being something someone could throw back at her later (And it's very likely something that Gabriel did in the past a time or two.) and I love that Tony has proven again and again that he would never do that. As you said, it wouldn't even occur to him as a possibility AND THIS IS JUST ONE REASON WHY HE'S THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
YES, AMELIA, I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND SNUGGLY TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND TO MAYBE HAVE SOME ADORABLE BABIES.
It seems I take peverse pleasure in making all the various Fieldings enjoy teasing Alex. I think maybe it's just that she would react so damn funnily; I can see her taking it all in stride for a while, and throwing it back at them, and then after a while she would start to get all flustered and bust out with something really rude and below the belt which would make everyone then tease her even more about being a bitch. And you can bet your life that absolutely EVERYONE will tease Alex about Tony; I had this random thought the other day of the morning after Tony has arrived at the Casa at night, the two of them walking into the kitchen and either her dad or Jago making some comment about Alex always being good at sneaking blokes into the house while no-one was looking. Cue lots of sniggering from everyone, and adorable blushy ragey Italian stares from Alex.
I don't actually know if Alex would do something like the finger-crossing; she's not big about superstitions it seems. (That bit in 4.03 when she opens the umbrella indoors makes me fucking cringe and want to hide my eyes. I am a superstitious freak.) But it is kind of cute, because it just proves how much she really really really wants it to work out with Tony, and how her excitement about going on a date with him has reduced her to the mental state of a lovesick fourteen year old girl.
I AM SORRY FOR WOUNDING YOUR DELICATE SENSIBILITIES. I will make up for it with lots of snuggling and hair-patting and cups of soothing herbal tea whilst we are watching 6.04, I promise. And don't do the lip-quivering thing at me. I'm a sucker for that shit.
I agree, the only real option Alex has at this point in time is to have a massive FEELINGS eruption, and we all know the default setting for Alex FEELINGS eruptions is ragey Italian anger. This is why I can see her being the one to really fall apart terribly when they're reunited, and Tony having to be the one who is pretty much okay and holding her together while she loses her shit and cries all over him. The FEELINGS have been boiling away like crazy, and no-one gets it quite like he does.
Yeah, I agree that I think going to the funeral was Tony's idea. I think he was probably beating himself all along for not being more obviously concerned/helpful etc as she was leaving, and was searching the whole time for a way to demonstrate that yes, he bloody well does care, but didn't want to hassle her or disrupt her time with her family. It's really very brave of him; I know that by now he pretty much knows she wants his ass, but still I can't help but wonder if he had moments of self-doubt where he asked himself if she'd even want him there at all. I wonder if Kevin had much to do with it; maybe Tony floated the idea of going while he was uncertain, and Kev was like "Dude. You should go. You really should go" or something.
I often wonder if this thing about Alex's trepidation over appearing weak isn't something that someone in her family did too. I'm defaulting to say it was her mum, basically because poor old Mrs Fielding isn't here to defend herself, but I can see it tying in with Alex's mum's high standards and expectations to be a bit prone to hassling her children, and Alex in particular, about the mistakes they've made in the past. For some reason I always think of her mum as being incredibly strong-willed and determined, which is of course where Alex gets it from, as well as her sensitive and super-mushy streak which comes from her awesome dad. Anyway I'm ranting on here about Mrs Fielding when I'm supposed to just be agreeing with you that TONY WOULD BE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
YES, AMELIA, I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND SNUGGLY TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND TO MAYBE HAVE SOME ADORABLE BABIES. Again, MY LIFE'S WORK, LET ME SHOW YOU IT.
Me neither. It all kind of came together on Monday. Hopefully the fic isn't too shit, because I totally slapped it together in a really lazy manner.
I'm glad you enjoyed Chloe's little cameo. She's a pretty naughty girl a lot of the time (she gets this from her aunt), and she totally ships Alex/Tony already. She's just DYING to meet him, and is insanely jealous of Ben for getting to hang out with them all day long.
Alex loves at the very least six thousand different things about Tony. I figure at this stage she'd be cool with admitting this fact to herself. And the finger-crossing thing might not be completely in character for someone like Alex, but it's something I'm constantly doing myself, so I thought I'd throw it in there. It's cute, huh?
Here, have some bandaids for your stabby-stabby fangirly heart. I never meant to wound your delicate sensibilities with such unnecessary cruelty.
I can't help but think that Alex's FEELINGS would at some point blow up as anger, especially at her dad and Jago. She's just so damn affected by how she feels about Tony; it's like when he's all "what's wrong?" in 6.02, and she's "NO NO NO IT'S NOTHING I SWEAR. I SWEAR I DON'T FANCY YOU, NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. I'M TOTALLY FINE." It's so obvious that how she feels about him is clouding absolutely everything she does and making it impossible for her to concentrate on the case, and I think that the same thing would be happening while she's with her family. She's completely stuck on Tony, and can't get her head around anything else. Also, it's occurred to me that 'Dancing Dirt Into The Snow' would make a rather nice Chloe song; the second-person perspective fits nicely with Chloe watching her aunt and feeling a bit helpless.
I still haven't completely decided whether Alex outright asked Tony to come, or whether he suggested it and she jumped on the idea. I'm leaning toward the latter. I don't think she's quite confident enough at that low point to ask him to be there for her, but I definitely think that if he suggested he wanted to be there, she'd be breathing the biggest sigh of relief, and might even say something about being needing him there, in a not too obvious way. Also, he is the one person she doesn't have to watch herself with: God yes, this is it exactly, and I love it. She's so put together, so brilliant and strong and stubborn and all of that, but it's so fantastic that she's realised that she doesn't have to be like that all the time, and definitely not with him. It goes back to that squeeful discussion we're having elsewhere about Tony being wonderful and not even understanding the concept of pettiness or spite; I can see Alex worrying that if she appears not totally strong and in control in front of something that they might one day turn round and throw it back in her face (I'm thinking Gabriel might've done this on occasion), and the basic fact of it is that doing this would never even occur to Tony. He truly appreciates that she has this sensitive, fragile part of her, and he even seems to want encourage her to share it sometimes, because he knows it's good for her to rely on someone else at times. Gah. I love Tony Hill.
she wants nothing more than to fall into him and let everything else fade away
This is pretty much all I want for her too. How about you?
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Awww! So cute that you do the finger crossing in your pocket thing. I can see Alex doing it but never admitting to anyone and flat out denying it if say Tony noticed and called her on it. And, I totally agree that at this stage she's pretty much a total mushball in her head about him and would have no problem admitting to herself that she loved 6,000+ things about him.
Well you did! You did wound my delicate sensibilities, Amelia! You made me feel all weepy and sad that their squeeful moment was interrupted by tragedy. And never mind that the WitB writers did it first, I BLAME YOU FOR BRINGING IT BACK UP AND WRITING IT IN SUCH A HEARTBREAKING WAY. *lip quivers as I attempt to give you the evil eye but accept the offered bandaids anyway*
I do think an eruption of anger would be quite likely for Alex at this point. She's got so many contradictory FEELINGS floating around in her head right now - grief over her mother, mad love for Tony, angst/loneliness at being away from him, concern for her family and probably concern about whatever is going on with Tony (She knows something is up after she called and Kevin was there, yeah? She may not know it all but I bet she's fretting like crazy.) And, when she's got that much going on, there's very little chance that she won't explode with misdirected anger at some point. Poor dear. (And "Dancing Dirt Into Snow" is rather perfect for this especially that "to hide the little girl that crying, underneath the rage that you let others see.")
You know, I've always assumed coming to the funeral was Tony's idea. I think he either called and asked her or found the details some other way and just showed up on his own. I think you're right that she desperately wanted him there but wasn't in a place where she would have asked him to come herself. If he did call and offer though there's no doubt in my mind that she would have been so relieved that she'd have made it painfully obvious that yes she wanted and needed him there even if she wasn't willing to say it outright.
Yes, that's it exactly. She can get by perfectly well (Well, with the ocassional FEELINGsplosion.) on her own and has gotten used to doing so. But she's realized that she doesn't have to do it all on her own when Tony's around and I wonder if being away from him to be with her family really drove home to her the fact that, not only does she not need to get through things on her own anymore, she doesn't want to. That realization probably just sent the FEELINGS further into overdrive.
I agree that Alex probably does worry about showing weakness being something someone could throw back at her later (And it's very likely something that Gabriel did in the past a time or two.) and I love that Tony has proven again and again that he would never do that. As you said, it wouldn't even occur to him as a possibility AND THIS IS JUST ONE REASON WHY HE'S THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
YES, AMELIA, I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND SNUGGLY TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND TO MAYBE HAVE SOME ADORABLE BABIES.
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I don't actually know if Alex would do something like the finger-crossing; she's not big about superstitions it seems. (That bit in 4.03 when she opens the umbrella indoors makes me fucking cringe and want to hide my eyes. I am a superstitious freak.) But it is kind of cute, because it just proves how much she really really really wants it to work out with Tony, and how her excitement about going on a date with him has reduced her to the mental state of a lovesick fourteen year old girl.
I AM SORRY FOR WOUNDING YOUR DELICATE SENSIBILITIES. I will make up for it with lots of snuggling and hair-patting and cups of soothing herbal tea whilst we are watching 6.04, I promise. And don't do the lip-quivering thing at me. I'm a sucker for that shit.
I agree, the only real option Alex has at this point in time is to have a massive FEELINGS eruption, and we all know the default setting for Alex FEELINGS eruptions is ragey Italian anger. This is why I can see her being the one to really fall apart terribly when they're reunited, and Tony having to be the one who is pretty much okay and holding her together while she loses her shit and cries all over him. The FEELINGS have been boiling away like crazy, and no-one gets it quite like he does.
Yeah, I agree that I think going to the funeral was Tony's idea. I think he was probably beating himself all along for not being more obviously concerned/helpful etc as she was leaving, and was searching the whole time for a way to demonstrate that yes, he bloody well does care, but didn't want to hassle her or disrupt her time with her family. It's really very brave of him; I know that by now he pretty much knows she wants his ass, but still I can't help but wonder if he had moments of self-doubt where he asked himself if she'd even want him there at all. I wonder if Kevin had much to do with it; maybe Tony floated the idea of going while he was uncertain, and Kev was like "Dude. You should go. You really should go" or something.
I often wonder if this thing about Alex's trepidation over appearing weak isn't something that someone in her family did too. I'm defaulting to say it was her mum, basically because poor old Mrs Fielding isn't here to defend herself, but I can see it tying in with Alex's mum's high standards and expectations to be a bit prone to hassling her children, and Alex in particular, about the mistakes they've made in the past. For some reason I always think of her mum as being incredibly strong-willed and determined, which is of course where Alex gets it from, as well as her sensitive and super-mushy streak which comes from her awesome dad. Anyway I'm ranting on here about Mrs Fielding when I'm supposed to just be agreeing with you that TONY WOULD BE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
YES, AMELIA, I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND SNUGGLY TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND TO MAYBE HAVE SOME ADORABLE BABIES.
Again, MY LIFE'S WORK, LET ME SHOW YOU IT.
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