(no subject)
i feel a bit more like my old self right now :) i think the excitement which started in australia of living someone else's life has worn off. i am back to wanting quiet activities and to be alone, and i feel really happy right now. haha, i was ranting to chris two hours ago about how stressed out i was, but i think it was a kind of turning point thing. my real life is the one with my family and all the stresses that that entails, and it doesn't leave the energy and commitment to going out and shenanigans. and i don't want to spend that kind of energy either. i want to read and talk to the fame and disappear for a bit. it wasn't till saturday when i was talking to sandy that i realized how much i miss arthika, and how weird it is that we are not best friends anymore. talking to her reminded me how close arthika and i actually were. just getting a little nostalgic, i don't expect things to change back to that, but it was special and i'm glad that i still have so many people i can pour my heart out to. it's the lesson from about a boy - you can't just have one person to rely on, you need a whole network of them, everyone holding everyone up like a pyramid of people, so even if one person leaves, you've got enough support to make up for that absence. not sure how my summer plans will work out, but i'm hoping i will be able to have some time to write. and read. there are so many difficult things about me but i'm glad i know people who understand that i'm coming from a good place, even if it is hard to put up with me sometimes. i am going to chill out and enjoy this summer.