therealljidol Smile
"SMILE!"
Perhaps it's the camera. Perhaps it's the pressure of knowing that the moment following will be preserved for all eternity. Perhaps it is the insincerity of capturing a staged moment instead of a real one. I am not sure what it is I'm doing wrong, but I photograph worse than a mugshot on Cops.
I don't think I'm that ugly. Sure, I could stand to lose a few pounds, and my gums show a little when I smile, but I'm not what most people would describe as hideous. However, something about a camera just turns me into a broke down, busted up, ugly-ass goon.
"SMILE!"
"Bright eyes!" I think to myself. I saw it on Oprah once, or somewhere. You're supposed to flirt with the camera, right? I bat my eyelashes a little. I think of my boyfriend on our first date. I look at the camera like I am staring into his eyes across the table. He fell for me that night, so I had to look all right, right? Slight smile - not too big! I don't want to show too much gum, but I don't want to look mean. I'm happy! I'm beautiful! This will finally be the one I can use as my Facebook photo!
*Click!*Flash!*
"Uh, I think your eyes were shut, and your cheeks look fat. Want to try it again?"
"Sure." I turn my shoulder toward the camera, and look over it. Oprah said it would make me look thinner. You're supposed to breathe in on three, right? Or was it out? I'll just hold my breath. I'll go less flirty, more sweet this time. Think natural!
*Click!*Flash!*
"Why were you standing like that? It looks weird. Take one more."
"Goddamnit."
"SMILE!"
"Flirtbrightsexysmilehappygumsnaturalprettyaljfa;ljdaflks," I think to myself. This will be it. Maybe I can even use it as a headshot. I feel good about this one. Really good.
*Click!*Flash!*
My sister looks at the screen on the camera. I know it's coming.
"Oh God," she blurts through hysterical laughter, "you should see your face in this one!"
Goddamnit!
Perhaps it's the camera. Perhaps it's the pressure of knowing that the moment following will be preserved for all eternity. Perhaps it is the insincerity of capturing a staged moment instead of a real one. I am not sure what it is I'm doing wrong, but I photograph worse than a mugshot on Cops.
I don't think I'm that ugly. Sure, I could stand to lose a few pounds, and my gums show a little when I smile, but I'm not what most people would describe as hideous. However, something about a camera just turns me into a broke down, busted up, ugly-ass goon.
"SMILE!"
"Bright eyes!" I think to myself. I saw it on Oprah once, or somewhere. You're supposed to flirt with the camera, right? I bat my eyelashes a little. I think of my boyfriend on our first date. I look at the camera like I am staring into his eyes across the table. He fell for me that night, so I had to look all right, right? Slight smile - not too big! I don't want to show too much gum, but I don't want to look mean. I'm happy! I'm beautiful! This will finally be the one I can use as my Facebook photo!
*Click!*Flash!*
"Uh, I think your eyes were shut, and your cheeks look fat. Want to try it again?"
"Sure." I turn my shoulder toward the camera, and look over it. Oprah said it would make me look thinner. You're supposed to breathe in on three, right? Or was it out? I'll just hold my breath. I'll go less flirty, more sweet this time. Think natural!
*Click!*Flash!*
"Why were you standing like that? It looks weird. Take one more."
"Goddamnit."
"SMILE!"
"Flirtbrightsexysmilehappygumsnaturalprettyaljfa;ljdaflks," I think to myself. This will be it. Maybe I can even use it as a headshot. I feel good about this one. Really good.
*Click!*Flash!*
My sister looks at the screen on the camera. I know it's coming.
"Oh God," she blurts through hysterical laughter, "you should see your face in this one!"
Goddamnit!