Down on Tough Times...
Well...my break is almost coming to an end. Something that I have been waiting for. It wasn't all that bad that I got a chance to hang with friends for what little time we did...but the rest of the break was craptacular...
I have come to the conclusion that I have a problem...like depression or something...I've had it before, I just thought that it would never surface like it has now. And with this new realization, I have made some decisions in my life that I hope will better me as a person. For one...I hate to say it, but I think it would it would be best for me if I break things off with Teri...The last thing I want to do is break her heart, and if I stay with her...1) the relationship will kinda go nowhere with the problems I am having, and 2) it would be like leading her on...therefore breaking her heart more. But...it's like this: I need to get out there and figure out what's wrong with me, fix it, before I can ever be stable enough to have a fulfilling relationship with anyone right now...I have to do it. I'm hoping she can understand that...
I need help, I really do...and I need to get it, before I officially break down, and cause myself physical harm. I want to truly feel happy...at peace y'know? I mean, don't get me wrong...I was happy with Teri, but somewhere deep down, I was still hurting...and it took this holiday break to bring it to the surface. I honestly wish things hadn't gone down the way they had...but perhaps it was somewhat for the better, more of an enlightenment of sorts. A key to my future life of happiness...Who knows? Teri and I might get back together...there's always that possibility, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I put her through a world of pain by staying with her, rendering myself/herself unhappy because I'm suffering from depression...I just couldn't. I really hope I am doing the right thing...
I have come to the conclusion that I have a problem...like depression or something...I've had it before, I just thought that it would never surface like it has now. And with this new realization, I have made some decisions in my life that I hope will better me as a person. For one...I hate to say it, but I think it would it would be best for me if I break things off with Teri...The last thing I want to do is break her heart, and if I stay with her...1) the relationship will kinda go nowhere with the problems I am having, and 2) it would be like leading her on...therefore breaking her heart more. But...it's like this: I need to get out there and figure out what's wrong with me, fix it, before I can ever be stable enough to have a fulfilling relationship with anyone right now...I have to do it. I'm hoping she can understand that...
I need help, I really do...and I need to get it, before I officially break down, and cause myself physical harm. I want to truly feel happy...at peace y'know? I mean, don't get me wrong...I was happy with Teri, but somewhere deep down, I was still hurting...and it took this holiday break to bring it to the surface. I honestly wish things hadn't gone down the way they had...but perhaps it was somewhat for the better, more of an enlightenment of sorts. A key to my future life of happiness...Who knows? Teri and I might get back together...there's always that possibility, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I put her through a world of pain by staying with her, rendering myself/herself unhappy because I'm suffering from depression...I just couldn't. I really hope I am doing the right thing...