Now I'm gone, you're tossing and turning in your sleep
Having some trouble sleeping... not bee related, just other stuff. Somebody commented on a Cleo vid on youtube, and it always kills me to click on it to respond. I have to stop it before it starts playing, but I get tearful and start crying anyway. A lot of cat related stuff still does that.... which is why its crazy when people suggest we get a kitten. It'll be a long time before I can handle that, I think. Sometimes I'm fine, and other times just a stray cat or picture or a kitten at Petsmart will send me into tears. But the vids on youtube are the worst. I took them in part so I could see her again as I remember her, but it's too painful... I wonder when I'll be able to watch them and be ok. Still, I try and respond to the comments because sometimes they're questions about her GIF-tube which I think more people should be told about for their own sick and elderly cats.
The other thing that's keeping me up is this; an open letter to the GLBT community from Barak Obama I got it into my head to write him, which certainly isn't helping my emotional state, but I know myself. If I don't get it out of my head then I'm not going to sleep at all. Here's my letter so far, I may revise it more before sending but I think this is enough to let my brain stop rambling on about it for tonight.
Dear Senator Obama,
First, I’d like to acknowledge that you really do have a lot of wonderful things to say. I agree with you on many fronts and am what I suppose you could call a tentative supporter. Why tentative? Well, honestly, because I’m gay. I’ve heard you speak on numerous topics, and you approach everything with an eloquence and maturity I don’t feel like I’ve seen in a politician… well, possibly ever. Your focus on education and standing up for people is wonderful and so badly needed. Unfortunately your open letter to GLBT people and it falls very sadly short. Even though I already knew your position on marriage I was disappointed anew.
This doesn’t surprise me, I honestly don’t expect to see true legal GLBT equality in my lifetime from any candidate. You’ve built your platform on hope, which I think is beautiful. I’d like to have hope. I really would. When it comes to talking to GLBT people, however, all there ever seems to be is spin and double speak.
You referred to us as second class citizens, and that this shouldn’t be. That’s very true, we are and we shouldn’t be. But how does a “separate but equal” policy make us less second class citizens? I’ve never in my life heard a single satisfying explanation for this. If it’s due to religion, why can heterosexual atheists get married? If it’s about reproducing, why can infertile heterosexuals get married? What possible reason is there, given the supposed separation of church and state, for calling our marriages “civil unions” other than to pacify the people who feel we should be put in our place? How is that equality in any sense of the word?
I believe that language is very important. It influences and transforms our culture, and also tells us a lot about who we are as a culture. Watch and listen to how casually GLBT people are used as insults and punch lines. So casually, that a lot of people are startled when we point out to them that we find it offensive. We’re a joke, and it’s considered perfectly acceptable in America today. It’s dehumanizing. Language is often used to dehumanize. To make us feel more separate and unwelcome in the rest of society. Terms like “civil union” and “domestic partners” are no exception. Unless applied to homosexual and heterosexual people alike, it’s just another - although more subtle- way to put us in our place as second class citizens.
Perhaps all legal marriages should be deemed civil unions. That, I think, would be a far better step forward than placing GLBTs in a “special” category.
You said “But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples - whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage.” The sad situation is that the vast majority of states aren’t actually trying to pursue any of those. I have, however, seen many states actively trying to prevent any of those from ever happening and ensuring that if other states did it would not be recognized should the couple need to move. Should we then just let certain states legislate bigotry on their own?
Please don’t misunderstand; I would be incredibly grateful to enjoy the same rights with my other half of 8 years as any other married couple. The legal rights alone are indeed better than nothing. The vast majority of us will in fact settle for ‘better than nothing’ civil unions at this point. I just want you to understand that’s what civil unions really are. Better than nothing. They are real change and a good thing but they are not equality. You’re a very intelligent and educated man, so I believe that on some level you already know this.
I understand that you cannot support full equality for GLBT people and still get elected. That’s the sad fact of the matter and the state of this country right now. I know that. Deep down I hope that the whole civil union thing is just a ploy to get in and that at heart you really do care about GLBT equality and intend to make change. For the first time ever, I’m actually hoping a politician is telling half truths!
My true purpose in writing this letter is in the hopes of keeping you honest, however. It’s insulting to say you support civil unions as a gay appropriate alternative then say you want to lift us out of our second class citizen status. That doesn’t add up, and I don’t know a single GLBT person who doesn’t think so. I believe you when you say you want to make things better for us, I do believe you to be sincere in that. Don’t talk to us like we don’t know what separate but equal means, like we don’t know how things really are, like we’re ignorant.
Say you want to help, that you sympathize with us, that you want to change laws, yes, but don’t promise us equality with one hand and dismiss us with the other. We’re so used to that kind of treatment that it doesn’t slip by us anymore, though we often tolerate it for our own sanity. Just, please, give us some credit. We know the score, and we understand that you can’t win if you fully supported us. But don’t patronize us and pretend to fully support GLBT equality. It hurts all the more coming from an otherwise sensible and inspiring candidate like yourself.
Thank you for your time,
Sheree Rehema
Sorry for such a somber note to go out on. I'll try and post a nice moment of zen or something before midnight GMT tomorrow.
The other thing that's keeping me up is this; an open letter to the GLBT community from Barak Obama I got it into my head to write him, which certainly isn't helping my emotional state, but I know myself. If I don't get it out of my head then I'm not going to sleep at all. Here's my letter so far, I may revise it more before sending but I think this is enough to let my brain stop rambling on about it for tonight.
Dear Senator Obama,
First, I’d like to acknowledge that you really do have a lot of wonderful things to say. I agree with you on many fronts and am what I suppose you could call a tentative supporter. Why tentative? Well, honestly, because I’m gay. I’ve heard you speak on numerous topics, and you approach everything with an eloquence and maturity I don’t feel like I’ve seen in a politician… well, possibly ever. Your focus on education and standing up for people is wonderful and so badly needed. Unfortunately your open letter to GLBT people and it falls very sadly short. Even though I already knew your position on marriage I was disappointed anew.
This doesn’t surprise me, I honestly don’t expect to see true legal GLBT equality in my lifetime from any candidate. You’ve built your platform on hope, which I think is beautiful. I’d like to have hope. I really would. When it comes to talking to GLBT people, however, all there ever seems to be is spin and double speak.
You referred to us as second class citizens, and that this shouldn’t be. That’s very true, we are and we shouldn’t be. But how does a “separate but equal” policy make us less second class citizens? I’ve never in my life heard a single satisfying explanation for this. If it’s due to religion, why can heterosexual atheists get married? If it’s about reproducing, why can infertile heterosexuals get married? What possible reason is there, given the supposed separation of church and state, for calling our marriages “civil unions” other than to pacify the people who feel we should be put in our place? How is that equality in any sense of the word?
I believe that language is very important. It influences and transforms our culture, and also tells us a lot about who we are as a culture. Watch and listen to how casually GLBT people are used as insults and punch lines. So casually, that a lot of people are startled when we point out to them that we find it offensive. We’re a joke, and it’s considered perfectly acceptable in America today. It’s dehumanizing. Language is often used to dehumanize. To make us feel more separate and unwelcome in the rest of society. Terms like “civil union” and “domestic partners” are no exception. Unless applied to homosexual and heterosexual people alike, it’s just another - although more subtle- way to put us in our place as second class citizens.
Perhaps all legal marriages should be deemed civil unions. That, I think, would be a far better step forward than placing GLBTs in a “special” category.
You said “But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples - whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage.” The sad situation is that the vast majority of states aren’t actually trying to pursue any of those. I have, however, seen many states actively trying to prevent any of those from ever happening and ensuring that if other states did it would not be recognized should the couple need to move. Should we then just let certain states legislate bigotry on their own?
Please don’t misunderstand; I would be incredibly grateful to enjoy the same rights with my other half of 8 years as any other married couple. The legal rights alone are indeed better than nothing. The vast majority of us will in fact settle for ‘better than nothing’ civil unions at this point. I just want you to understand that’s what civil unions really are. Better than nothing. They are real change and a good thing but they are not equality. You’re a very intelligent and educated man, so I believe that on some level you already know this.
I understand that you cannot support full equality for GLBT people and still get elected. That’s the sad fact of the matter and the state of this country right now. I know that. Deep down I hope that the whole civil union thing is just a ploy to get in and that at heart you really do care about GLBT equality and intend to make change. For the first time ever, I’m actually hoping a politician is telling half truths!
My true purpose in writing this letter is in the hopes of keeping you honest, however. It’s insulting to say you support civil unions as a gay appropriate alternative then say you want to lift us out of our second class citizen status. That doesn’t add up, and I don’t know a single GLBT person who doesn’t think so. I believe you when you say you want to make things better for us, I do believe you to be sincere in that. Don’t talk to us like we don’t know what separate but equal means, like we don’t know how things really are, like we’re ignorant.
Say you want to help, that you sympathize with us, that you want to change laws, yes, but don’t promise us equality with one hand and dismiss us with the other. We’re so used to that kind of treatment that it doesn’t slip by us anymore, though we often tolerate it for our own sanity. Just, please, give us some credit. We know the score, and we understand that you can’t win if you fully supported us. But don’t patronize us and pretend to fully support GLBT equality. It hurts all the more coming from an otherwise sensible and inspiring candidate like yourself.
Thank you for your time,
Sheree Rehema
Sorry for such a somber note to go out on. I'll try and post a nice moment of zen or something before midnight GMT tomorrow.