Relationships are for connecting to others...
I had a conversation earlier this week about relationsips with a friend of mine. How I seem to get into them for the attention/ the adoration.
I asked her, seriously, with no trace of sarcasm..."Why else would I be in a relationship?"
Her reply, "To connect with people emotionally!"
I shit you not, I was floored by the idea.
Is that what normal people do? Emotionally mature people? That is the goal isn't it? That you find soemone with whom you really connect. Get to know them. Bond with them.
Seriously, that is such a foreign idea to me.
I want to bond with my friends. My girlfriends are my lovers. For Robbin, For Karen (even though we haven't talked in over a year). For Janel, even though I stood her up. For Melinda (who I don't even know where she is.) For my business partner,Treah. For them I would do anything. ANYTHING. I would give them a kidney, a lobe of my liver, be a surrogate, kick anyone's ass. One call from them and I'd be there as fast as the Rebel could carry me.
I want to know more about my friends. Trade stories. Find out what motivates them, who they want to be. Anyone who hrts my friends, hurts me and will be dealt with accordingly.
I may think my friends are fucked up or wierd, but I accept them and I hope they accept me. There is no length I wuldn't go for them.
On the other hand, ya throw sex into the equation and it gets all fucked up for me.
I have very little motivation to learn anything about my romantic partners. My romantic partners exist to please me. To adore and worship me. Because, evidently, it's all about me.
How fucked up is that?
I think it's a defensive posture though. Lovers come and go. Friends are a fixture.
My mother's been married 6 times, but she's had the same 3 friends for 15 years or so. (She's finally alienated them with her alcoholism, but that's another story.)
It just seems to me that people get together and breakup, but the friens bond is more lasting and stronger.
Why "connect" with someone when it's more likely than not that you will only be spending a year or two with them?
That's my (ill)logic anyways.
Yeah, I'm fucked up....but aren't we all. At least I admit it.
I asked her, seriously, with no trace of sarcasm..."Why else would I be in a relationship?"
Her reply, "To connect with people emotionally!"
I shit you not, I was floored by the idea.
Is that what normal people do? Emotionally mature people? That is the goal isn't it? That you find soemone with whom you really connect. Get to know them. Bond with them.
Seriously, that is such a foreign idea to me.
I want to bond with my friends. My girlfriends are my lovers. For Robbin, For Karen (even though we haven't talked in over a year). For Janel, even though I stood her up. For Melinda (who I don't even know where she is.) For my business partner,Treah. For them I would do anything. ANYTHING. I would give them a kidney, a lobe of my liver, be a surrogate, kick anyone's ass. One call from them and I'd be there as fast as the Rebel could carry me.
I want to know more about my friends. Trade stories. Find out what motivates them, who they want to be. Anyone who hrts my friends, hurts me and will be dealt with accordingly.
I may think my friends are fucked up or wierd, but I accept them and I hope they accept me. There is no length I wuldn't go for them.
On the other hand, ya throw sex into the equation and it gets all fucked up for me.
I have very little motivation to learn anything about my romantic partners. My romantic partners exist to please me. To adore and worship me. Because, evidently, it's all about me.
How fucked up is that?
I think it's a defensive posture though. Lovers come and go. Friends are a fixture.
My mother's been married 6 times, but she's had the same 3 friends for 15 years or so. (She's finally alienated them with her alcoholism, but that's another story.)
It just seems to me that people get together and breakup, but the friens bond is more lasting and stronger.
Why "connect" with someone when it's more likely than not that you will only be spending a year or two with them?
That's my (ill)logic anyways.
Yeah, I'm fucked up....but aren't we all. At least I admit it.