A different pitter-patter
I haven't written on LJ in forever. and this is a very bad entry to start back up on, but oh well.
Just now, about 2 or 3 minutes ago, my body did something i can't remember it ever doing. i was sitting in the comp chair, very calm and relaxed surfin on facebook. all of the sudden i couldn't see - the same kind of deal when i stand up too fast and don't breathe right at the same time. the slow blurring and closing in. at the same time, an episode of tachycardia occured (where my heart beats very hard and fast inexplicably). i wondered what was going on. i also concentrated on the feeling so i would be able to describe it. i felt incredibly leadened, and my toes and fingers felt very very tingly. i tried to breathe normally, because that makes my eyes work again. it didn't this time. i kinda wondered what was going on. i tried to say out loud "okay, is this going to shut off?" but i couldn't make my mouth or tongue work right. my head and chest hurt. it lasted about 20 or 30 seconds.
i'm not sure what to make of all this. the tingly, the heartbeat, and the vision loss have all happened before, but not concurrently. the headache and chest pain sometimes accompany either the tachycardia or the blurry sight. when things came back to normal there were tears down my cheeks i had not recollection of shedding. i'm only a little worried about all this, but i am worried. i haven't been to see a cardiologist in a while. i don't really feel like going, because i'm apprehensive about what would be perscribed or whatever. at the same time, i know anything i am told to do would be for the best.
maybe it's just exhaustion. it is 5am. anyway, i'm noting this event because i feel like my medical experiences and such should be documented. where to document all things Me? my lj, of course.
for those readers who actually see this and worry, don't. i'm not. i appreciate concern, but really, this is nothing, i think. just new is all. my heart has been doing funny things all night, like tachycardia mostly. and my eyes hurt. and i'm cold. so there are clearly a number of things that could have caused the coincidence of all the symptoms. i highly doubt i'm about to have a heart attack.
in other news, grace comes home wednesday. i can't wait to see here. we're still together, happier than ever with each other.
also, i find myself faced with a moral dilemma, the details of which i will not disclose on LJ. i only hope i do the right thing. i've vowed not to interfere, and if one of the involved parties wasn't invovled, said party would undoubtedly advise me not to meddle. in fact, in a very similar situation back in junior year, aforementioned party indeed advised me not to meddle and said that my meddling caused more drama than would have happened had i not tried to help. on the other hand, can i stand idly by and just let this happen? if it were me in that situation, i would wish someone warn me. whenever i find myself in situations like this, warning always is desired, for it helps immensely. and when i've intervened for others in similar situations, the results have on occaision been beneficial, sometimes incredibly beneficial. either way, it sucks. nothing i can do can make this situation good. only suck worse, or maybe more. and inaction is totally not my style.
i'm on winter break. life can't suck that much. and it's totally time for bed.
Fin.
Just now, about 2 or 3 minutes ago, my body did something i can't remember it ever doing. i was sitting in the comp chair, very calm and relaxed surfin on facebook. all of the sudden i couldn't see - the same kind of deal when i stand up too fast and don't breathe right at the same time. the slow blurring and closing in. at the same time, an episode of tachycardia occured (where my heart beats very hard and fast inexplicably). i wondered what was going on. i also concentrated on the feeling so i would be able to describe it. i felt incredibly leadened, and my toes and fingers felt very very tingly. i tried to breathe normally, because that makes my eyes work again. it didn't this time. i kinda wondered what was going on. i tried to say out loud "okay, is this going to shut off?" but i couldn't make my mouth or tongue work right. my head and chest hurt. it lasted about 20 or 30 seconds.
i'm not sure what to make of all this. the tingly, the heartbeat, and the vision loss have all happened before, but not concurrently. the headache and chest pain sometimes accompany either the tachycardia or the blurry sight. when things came back to normal there were tears down my cheeks i had not recollection of shedding. i'm only a little worried about all this, but i am worried. i haven't been to see a cardiologist in a while. i don't really feel like going, because i'm apprehensive about what would be perscribed or whatever. at the same time, i know anything i am told to do would be for the best.
maybe it's just exhaustion. it is 5am. anyway, i'm noting this event because i feel like my medical experiences and such should be documented. where to document all things Me? my lj, of course.
for those readers who actually see this and worry, don't. i'm not. i appreciate concern, but really, this is nothing, i think. just new is all. my heart has been doing funny things all night, like tachycardia mostly. and my eyes hurt. and i'm cold. so there are clearly a number of things that could have caused the coincidence of all the symptoms. i highly doubt i'm about to have a heart attack.
in other news, grace comes home wednesday. i can't wait to see here. we're still together, happier than ever with each other.
also, i find myself faced with a moral dilemma, the details of which i will not disclose on LJ. i only hope i do the right thing. i've vowed not to interfere, and if one of the involved parties wasn't invovled, said party would undoubtedly advise me not to meddle. in fact, in a very similar situation back in junior year, aforementioned party indeed advised me not to meddle and said that my meddling caused more drama than would have happened had i not tried to help. on the other hand, can i stand idly by and just let this happen? if it were me in that situation, i would wish someone warn me. whenever i find myself in situations like this, warning always is desired, for it helps immensely. and when i've intervened for others in similar situations, the results have on occaision been beneficial, sometimes incredibly beneficial. either way, it sucks. nothing i can do can make this situation good. only suck worse, or maybe more. and inaction is totally not my style.
i'm on winter break. life can't suck that much. and it's totally time for bed.
Fin.