We answer to a higher authority… like the hot dog.
In an interesting turn up for the books I am posting for a second time today. That's cos I've remembered that LJ is not so much for the updating of other people on your life as for splurging all your mentalness into written form, and thus helping you to sort through all the crap in your brain. Reading back that sentence makes me think 'mentalness' is totally the right word. I think I may have had a little word diahorrea in that last sentence!
Anyway, I'm not sure how it's happened, but I want a training contract real bad. I mean REAL BAD!!! I don't know how it's happened to me. When I got back from my travels in May, I had a 'devil may care' attitude towards it all. But now it's all I can think about and the obsession is really putting pressure on me. On the one hand it is great that I now have that hunger and urgency about it all, cos that shows a good attitude and my dedication and stuff. But at the same time, if this is how I am today, by the time Tuesday comes around I am gonna be a nervous wreck!
My mum says I should try not to obsess, but that's easy enough for her to say. This is my LIFE we're talking about. I'm not sure that I can handle all that rejection and then trying to find something else to do with my life. Right now I am on a path, but what the hell am I gonna do if I can't continue on this path?! I'm trying to go for positive mental attitude about it all, but there is that very real fear that I may not get a training contract!
But in an effort not to get overwhelmed and dramatic I have decided to focus on the little things. I tried to break in my smart shoes today. Unfortunately, they broke me instead. There was quite a large amount of pain and a fair bit of blood. It was unpleasant. Not too sure what I'm gonna do about that. I'm thinking the cunning plan of many plasters and flat shoes for the walk to and from the offices may do it.
I also found out where the office is. It's gonna be easy as pie to find, even with my total lack of sense of direction. I could seriously get lost in a paper bag. It's right by a tube station, so it should be impossible to miss.
I've been trying to figure out what I am gonna do with my hair. I'm thinking straightening. Just cos then I can do that the night before. If I want to leave it curly I'm gonna have to wash it in the morning. With straightening I can wash and straighten it the night before and then do some touch up work in the morning.
I also have to figure out what time train I am gonna take to London. And try on my suit to make sure it looks fine still. And decide how I am gonna do my makeup. Oh and learn the whole of 2 years of law degree. No worries huh?!
Anyway, I'm not sure how it's happened, but I want a training contract real bad. I mean REAL BAD!!! I don't know how it's happened to me. When I got back from my travels in May, I had a 'devil may care' attitude towards it all. But now it's all I can think about and the obsession is really putting pressure on me. On the one hand it is great that I now have that hunger and urgency about it all, cos that shows a good attitude and my dedication and stuff. But at the same time, if this is how I am today, by the time Tuesday comes around I am gonna be a nervous wreck!
My mum says I should try not to obsess, but that's easy enough for her to say. This is my LIFE we're talking about. I'm not sure that I can handle all that rejection and then trying to find something else to do with my life. Right now I am on a path, but what the hell am I gonna do if I can't continue on this path?! I'm trying to go for positive mental attitude about it all, but there is that very real fear that I may not get a training contract!
But in an effort not to get overwhelmed and dramatic I have decided to focus on the little things. I tried to break in my smart shoes today. Unfortunately, they broke me instead. There was quite a large amount of pain and a fair bit of blood. It was unpleasant. Not too sure what I'm gonna do about that. I'm thinking the cunning plan of many plasters and flat shoes for the walk to and from the offices may do it.
I also found out where the office is. It's gonna be easy as pie to find, even with my total lack of sense of direction. I could seriously get lost in a paper bag. It's right by a tube station, so it should be impossible to miss.
I've been trying to figure out what I am gonna do with my hair. I'm thinking straightening. Just cos then I can do that the night before. If I want to leave it curly I'm gonna have to wash it in the morning. With straightening I can wash and straighten it the night before and then do some touch up work in the morning.
I also have to figure out what time train I am gonna take to London. And try on my suit to make sure it looks fine still. And decide how I am gonna do my makeup. Oh and learn the whole of 2 years of law degree. No worries huh?!