A bit more on privilege, and the wimpiness of liberal men
Privilege is invisible to those who have it, it's often been said. Not only is this true, it's worth repeating from time to time... because one's privileges tend to turn invisible again the second you quit paying attention to them.
I come across the question now and then of whether a man can truly be a feminist... and my answer is "Yes, but it ain't easy. You can't ever stop working at it and decide you're 'there'. Complacency is your enemy."
This has come up recently because I've been following the controversy surrounding Alas, A Blog and its main moderator, Barry Deutsch (aka Ampersand). While some people would consider his comittment to feminism to be beyond question, I have serious doubts. Largely because of his moderation practices. Note that I didn't say policies; I think on paper they're fine... my complaint is that he's enforced the policies in such a way that anti-feminists and MRA's (Men's Rights Activists) have too much of a free rein, and feminists who are aggravated by this are the ones who are told to "tone it down."
This came to a head for me yesterday, when (I think as a last-ditch effort) it was proposed that some threads be set aside for radical feminist discussion only. And Ampersand had this response. What really tore it for me was this part:
4) I was beat up a lot as a kid. I’m not saying that to garner sympathy, but to try and make you understand that I can’t deal with bullies. And although you can’t see it, some of your radfem friends are bullies, imo.
To that I say, bullshit! This isn't junior high, it's a blog, frequented by adults. What does Ampersand have to be afraid of? Nothing. And he's perfectly capable of dealing with bullies, as I've seen numerous times. It's a completely bogus excuse, and I think it's contemptible.
Which leads me to some less than complimentary thoughts about liberal men in general. I hate to say this, as I count myself one of them, and it's said far too often that liberals are weak and spineless. But too often it's true. Far too many men are "progressive" for the wrong reasons. They like to identify with the “underdog” groups (these being, in our society, pretty much everyone who isn’t white, male, heterosexual* and Christian) because they were underdogs at some point… maybe they were nerds in school, or are physically unattractive, or financial success has eluded them. But when push comes to shove, they’re still part of a privileged class, and can count on it to protect them. They are unlikely to be targets of sexual violence, or be denied jobs because of their race. They can’t be stung deeply by a few bigoted words the way that… well, everyone who isn’t like them can be.
*I left out that word in my first draft. Interesting, eh?
So don’t whine, guys. Be men. Hell, be adults. You know who you are. Right?
OK, I’m done. A happy and peaceful New Year to all!
I come across the question now and then of whether a man can truly be a feminist... and my answer is "Yes, but it ain't easy. You can't ever stop working at it and decide you're 'there'. Complacency is your enemy."
This has come up recently because I've been following the controversy surrounding Alas, A Blog and its main moderator, Barry Deutsch (aka Ampersand). While some people would consider his comittment to feminism to be beyond question, I have serious doubts. Largely because of his moderation practices. Note that I didn't say policies; I think on paper they're fine... my complaint is that he's enforced the policies in such a way that anti-feminists and MRA's (Men's Rights Activists) have too much of a free rein, and feminists who are aggravated by this are the ones who are told to "tone it down."
This came to a head for me yesterday, when (I think as a last-ditch effort) it was proposed that some threads be set aside for radical feminist discussion only. And Ampersand had this response. What really tore it for me was this part:
4) I was beat up a lot as a kid. I’m not saying that to garner sympathy, but to try and make you understand that I can’t deal with bullies. And although you can’t see it, some of your radfem friends are bullies, imo.
To that I say, bullshit! This isn't junior high, it's a blog, frequented by adults. What does Ampersand have to be afraid of? Nothing. And he's perfectly capable of dealing with bullies, as I've seen numerous times. It's a completely bogus excuse, and I think it's contemptible.
Which leads me to some less than complimentary thoughts about liberal men in general. I hate to say this, as I count myself one of them, and it's said far too often that liberals are weak and spineless. But too often it's true. Far too many men are "progressive" for the wrong reasons. They like to identify with the “underdog” groups (these being, in our society, pretty much everyone who isn’t white, male, heterosexual* and Christian) because they were underdogs at some point… maybe they were nerds in school, or are physically unattractive, or financial success has eluded them. But when push comes to shove, they’re still part of a privileged class, and can count on it to protect them. They are unlikely to be targets of sexual violence, or be denied jobs because of their race. They can’t be stung deeply by a few bigoted words the way that… well, everyone who isn’t like them can be.
*I left out that word in my first draft. Interesting, eh?
So don’t whine, guys. Be men. Hell, be adults. You know who you are. Right?
OK, I’m done. A happy and peaceful New Year to all!