one more song about moving along the highway....
sometimes this is just easier - 9 things for 9 people (when we first met)
1. you always acted like you were better than me, and although I pretended I hated you for that as we got older, I still always thought that you were. I always thought that even though the shit you went throught you would come out closer to the top than I would. Its not a dissapointment to find out you are just like every other highschooler that drinks and smokes....but somehow I still thought you had it better than me just like I did when I was ten and I went to your house simply to not be at mine. I guess its just unsettling to find out we really are the same. You will probably forget about me or probably already have. you may never realize how much you helped me but I dont think I can ever forget you.(3 years old)
2.I remeber that we use to fight all the time. we would right notes on postits and leave them around your house and your mom would make us talk it out. you have always been there even if you didnt know it. I thought our lives had moved in different directions but they have not. I know one day you will be doing what you love and maybe I will even see you on a stage somewhere. I hope you never lose whatever it is that makes you you. we both grew up quickly and I know that is why we are still able to be friends, because when it comes down to it we are still the eight year old girls who walked around the neighborhood and played dress up.(6 years old)
3.I have no idea why I cant just erase you from my mind the way I have will all the other boys who have behaved in the exact same way that you did. I thought you got me and that you understood me. I think you were just bored or horny while you waited for the girl that you really wanted to see. I cant blame you for that because I should have known all along. but for some reason I just want to believe that you are different, but I dont really think that you are. You moved on in a day and I tried to do the same thing but you keep poping up in my life, so please just go away.(17 years old)
4. I knew instantly that I wanted you in my life, just to make it a little bit lighter. within weeks of knowing you I suddenly just talked about the hard things and you listened. I feel like there is some sort of space between us, maybe its because you are smoking too much pot now, or maybe you just recycled me like a lot of other people. I have seen it happen to others so I shouldnt be too surprised. For some reason I thought we would always be in eachothers lives somehow. Maybe I am wrong I sure as hell hope so.(15 years old)
5. there is only one way to describe our relationship, and you said it perfectly outside pachas one afternoon. we are like two magnets. sometimes we are facing the right way and sometimes one or both of us flips to the wrong side, but we will always be drawn back together. I hope that is true. I have done things that you never should have forgiven me for but somehow you did. I dont know why you put up with my crap but I am so fucking glad that you do. I know we will always flip back to the right side.(3 years old)
6. you are the elephant in the room, in my house. You make me so uncomfortable and I dont know why. maybe its because I see you and know that you will turn out better than I did, or maybe I am scared to death that you wont, that secretly you are just like me. maybe its because I feel guilty for not being there for you when you need someone. I really want to change that but I have no idea how to. I hope one day, soon things will change but I am so scared that they wont. If anything ever were to happen to you I would blame myself.(4 years old)
7. I knew we would get along when I met you, we think the same things. we have the same mean judgemental thoughts and I know I dont have to censor what I say around you and that is why you are amazing. sometimes I worry about you but mostly I know that in whatever situation you may be in you are always willing to just say fuck it, I dont need this. I have faith in you and I am so glad that we understand one another.(16 years old)
8. I will always hate your girlfriend for the simple fact that she is your girlfriend. I love you but not in the way that most people assume. I dont want to be with you in that way. I just want to know that you will always be there at two in the morning when I am crying. I love you because you have never once judged me and you are always honest about how much I am screwing up. I know one day you wont be a part of my life anymore and I am choosing just not to think about that because you will always be holding a light up for me.(17 years old)
9. you are the reason I had to write these damn things. First I loved you and looked up to you before I could grasp the situation. I hated you because I thought you were to blame for everything, you were the only one I had to blame. sometimes its easier to hate the ones we love the most. All I ever wanted was to not turn out like you, to make you proud, to get your approvial and I never did. Now you want to give me that and I am not sure I will be able to live up to that standard and that scares me so bad.
1. you always acted like you were better than me, and although I pretended I hated you for that as we got older, I still always thought that you were. I always thought that even though the shit you went throught you would come out closer to the top than I would. Its not a dissapointment to find out you are just like every other highschooler that drinks and smokes....but somehow I still thought you had it better than me just like I did when I was ten and I went to your house simply to not be at mine. I guess its just unsettling to find out we really are the same. You will probably forget about me or probably already have. you may never realize how much you helped me but I dont think I can ever forget you.(3 years old)
2.I remeber that we use to fight all the time. we would right notes on postits and leave them around your house and your mom would make us talk it out. you have always been there even if you didnt know it. I thought our lives had moved in different directions but they have not. I know one day you will be doing what you love and maybe I will even see you on a stage somewhere. I hope you never lose whatever it is that makes you you. we both grew up quickly and I know that is why we are still able to be friends, because when it comes down to it we are still the eight year old girls who walked around the neighborhood and played dress up.(6 years old)
3.I have no idea why I cant just erase you from my mind the way I have will all the other boys who have behaved in the exact same way that you did. I thought you got me and that you understood me. I think you were just bored or horny while you waited for the girl that you really wanted to see. I cant blame you for that because I should have known all along. but for some reason I just want to believe that you are different, but I dont really think that you are. You moved on in a day and I tried to do the same thing but you keep poping up in my life, so please just go away.(17 years old)
4. I knew instantly that I wanted you in my life, just to make it a little bit lighter. within weeks of knowing you I suddenly just talked about the hard things and you listened. I feel like there is some sort of space between us, maybe its because you are smoking too much pot now, or maybe you just recycled me like a lot of other people. I have seen it happen to others so I shouldnt be too surprised. For some reason I thought we would always be in eachothers lives somehow. Maybe I am wrong I sure as hell hope so.(15 years old)
5. there is only one way to describe our relationship, and you said it perfectly outside pachas one afternoon. we are like two magnets. sometimes we are facing the right way and sometimes one or both of us flips to the wrong side, but we will always be drawn back together. I hope that is true. I have done things that you never should have forgiven me for but somehow you did. I dont know why you put up with my crap but I am so fucking glad that you do. I know we will always flip back to the right side.(3 years old)
6. you are the elephant in the room, in my house. You make me so uncomfortable and I dont know why. maybe its because I see you and know that you will turn out better than I did, or maybe I am scared to death that you wont, that secretly you are just like me. maybe its because I feel guilty for not being there for you when you need someone. I really want to change that but I have no idea how to. I hope one day, soon things will change but I am so scared that they wont. If anything ever were to happen to you I would blame myself.(4 years old)
7. I knew we would get along when I met you, we think the same things. we have the same mean judgemental thoughts and I know I dont have to censor what I say around you and that is why you are amazing. sometimes I worry about you but mostly I know that in whatever situation you may be in you are always willing to just say fuck it, I dont need this. I have faith in you and I am so glad that we understand one another.(16 years old)
8. I will always hate your girlfriend for the simple fact that she is your girlfriend. I love you but not in the way that most people assume. I dont want to be with you in that way. I just want to know that you will always be there at two in the morning when I am crying. I love you because you have never once judged me and you are always honest about how much I am screwing up. I know one day you wont be a part of my life anymore and I am choosing just not to think about that because you will always be holding a light up for me.(17 years old)
9. you are the reason I had to write these damn things. First I loved you and looked up to you before I could grasp the situation. I hated you because I thought you were to blame for everything, you were the only one I had to blame. sometimes its easier to hate the ones we love the most. All I ever wanted was to not turn out like you, to make you proud, to get your approvial and I never did. Now you want to give me that and I am not sure I will be able to live up to that standard and that scares me so bad.