How do YOU ?
1)get to school? I have a jetpack.
2)like school? Which school?
3)get along with your siblings? I shot them all.
4)take your coffee? with spinach. Lots of spinach.
5)hope people will think of you when you're gone? that i was a great leader of the generation X Maffia.
6)spell Maffia? M-A-F-F-I-A
7)know if that's the correct spelling? I don't....see how much i care.
8)wake up so early in the morning? well, it's tough, but i've found the best way is to guarantee that a car bomb goes off right next to my bedroom window just after my radioactive hamster breaks down the door and fires his assault rifle. (WARNING:this procedure may lead to the signing of a petition by your neighbors to have both you and your family thrown out of the Homeowners Association, and should be performed with extreme caution. Insulating the car with shaggy 60's style carpet prior to the explosion to absorb sound is suggested.)
9)celebrate Christmas? my uncle Fredrico and his 76 12th cousins (twice removed) drop by and we eat a five course meal, which commences with parched lamb. Afterwards, we all sit down for a nice old-fashioned game of strip poker, and my dog participates in the festivities by urinating in the cranberry sauce. (this is usually the part where my 3-year-old sister-in-law and myself slice off our right limbs-but only the ones that grow back.) We then proceed to go out for martinis (two olives, dirty). We return at the wee hours of the morning and the blessing of the uphonium (given by ex-Reverend John Elton) takes place (the ceremony ends by the placing of a tiara on stove just east of the right front burner (if you know what i mean).
10) Celebrate Thanksgiving? See Volume Two of the Chronicles of Ancient Rituals of Bedouin Tribes (particularly chapters 11 and 18, both of which focus primarily on the usage of femurs as light sabers).
2)like school? Which school?
3)get along with your siblings? I shot them all.
4)take your coffee? with spinach. Lots of spinach.
5)hope people will think of you when you're gone? that i was a great leader of the generation X Maffia.
6)spell Maffia? M-A-F-F-I-A
7)know if that's the correct spelling? I don't....see how much i care.
8)wake up so early in the morning? well, it's tough, but i've found the best way is to guarantee that a car bomb goes off right next to my bedroom window just after my radioactive hamster breaks down the door and fires his assault rifle. (WARNING:this procedure may lead to the signing of a petition by your neighbors to have both you and your family thrown out of the Homeowners Association, and should be performed with extreme caution. Insulating the car with shaggy 60's style carpet prior to the explosion to absorb sound is suggested.)
9)celebrate Christmas? my uncle Fredrico and his 76 12th cousins (twice removed) drop by and we eat a five course meal, which commences with parched lamb. Afterwards, we all sit down for a nice old-fashioned game of strip poker, and my dog participates in the festivities by urinating in the cranberry sauce. (this is usually the part where my 3-year-old sister-in-law and myself slice off our right limbs-but only the ones that grow back.) We then proceed to go out for martinis (two olives, dirty). We return at the wee hours of the morning and the blessing of the uphonium (given by ex-Reverend John Elton) takes place (the ceremony ends by the placing of a tiara on stove just east of the right front burner (if you know what i mean).
10) Celebrate Thanksgiving? See Volume Two of the Chronicles of Ancient Rituals of Bedouin Tribes (particularly chapters 11 and 18, both of which focus primarily on the usage of femurs as light sabers).