Disoriented
Scattered excitement in a nucleus of fear, permeated only by revelations of loneliness. I wonder how many other people in my class feel like this. I don't like moving. I could have happily lived in Chico for the rest of my life. Familiarity is so incredibly comforting and good friends are so incredibly necessary but so difficult to find. It really surprises me that I know so many people who are accustomed to moving. I can't imagine ever getting used to it. The only thing that is familiar to me is, well, me. The way I feel things and experience things is still the same and I guess this gives me at least a small amount of the grounding that I need. But I need to find a hammer to put a few more stakes in the ground.
My first week of orientation ended on Friday and I start class in approximately 9 hours. Medical school is actually the main source of the fear I'm feeling. Right now there are so many unknowns that I simply feel overwhelmed with worrying about absolutely nothing. Yet I'm glad to be where I am and I'm thankful that I get to worry about nothing at the moment. Next week I know for certain that reality will prove all the more worrying but fortunately correspondingly time consuming.
Believe it or not Medical School orientation is incredibly boring. It involves a lot of waiting with relatively few lectures about how much the next four years of our lives is going to both suck and be the best years of our lives. Thankfully the free food did much to relieve the tension of waiting around. I met a great deal of my classmates and we each asked each other’s name a minimum of three times but not exceeding six. The first introduction was so frequently followed by the phrase, "I'm sorry but I'm terrible with names.", that we all stopped saying it and simply assumed it. Getting our ID badges also helped. Now I have access to the inner sanctums of the school, including but not limited to the locker room in Gray Hall. I wish I could take pictures of all of these glorious places where my ID badge grants me access but I can't afford a digital camera, as I'm already nearly 18,000 in debt.
My classmates were much friendlier than I had anticipated. I've been trying to go to a lot of student functions to meet everyone. It's been difficult as becoming social in large groups is not something I particularly enjoy but something that is necessary. At a small dinner hosted by some of the MS-2s (2nd year medical students) there were only six of us and I definitely had fun conversing with my classmates. One of them has resorted to calling me "Chico" which is one of the few nicknames I actually like. And with that there's nothing for me to do but go to bed and wait for school to begin.
My first week of orientation ended on Friday and I start class in approximately 9 hours. Medical school is actually the main source of the fear I'm feeling. Right now there are so many unknowns that I simply feel overwhelmed with worrying about absolutely nothing. Yet I'm glad to be where I am and I'm thankful that I get to worry about nothing at the moment. Next week I know for certain that reality will prove all the more worrying but fortunately correspondingly time consuming.
Believe it or not Medical School orientation is incredibly boring. It involves a lot of waiting with relatively few lectures about how much the next four years of our lives is going to both suck and be the best years of our lives. Thankfully the free food did much to relieve the tension of waiting around. I met a great deal of my classmates and we each asked each other’s name a minimum of three times but not exceeding six. The first introduction was so frequently followed by the phrase, "I'm sorry but I'm terrible with names.", that we all stopped saying it and simply assumed it. Getting our ID badges also helped. Now I have access to the inner sanctums of the school, including but not limited to the locker room in Gray Hall. I wish I could take pictures of all of these glorious places where my ID badge grants me access but I can't afford a digital camera, as I'm already nearly 18,000 in debt.
My classmates were much friendlier than I had anticipated. I've been trying to go to a lot of student functions to meet everyone. It's been difficult as becoming social in large groups is not something I particularly enjoy but something that is necessary. At a small dinner hosted by some of the MS-2s (2nd year medical students) there were only six of us and I definitely had fun conversing with my classmates. One of them has resorted to calling me "Chico" which is one of the few nicknames I actually like. And with that there's nothing for me to do but go to bed and wait for school to begin.