Chemo Update
I'm going to cheat again and put my e-mail update on my LJ. I'll put it behind a cut so those of you who don't want to read anything about God can skip it.
I'm going to watch the last of the LOTR trilogy today and that makes me sad. I have enjoyed it so much!
Guess what??? I bought the CUTEST strawberry blonde wig off eBay today and you will never believe how much i paid for it??? $20. Yes, $20. I could not believe it! I am sooooooooo excited! That is just unheard of!
Mornin' friends and family,
Praise God I have finished the first chemo drug! I had my last dose of Taxol yesterday and it is completed. I have to admit though that this milestone was shattered yesterday afternoon and the devil almost had a field day with me. I went by to see Mom and Dad and Dr. Waples had told me yesterday that I was halfway through. Well, when Mom got to figuring up (she's the math whiz and I am SOOOOO not) if I have 4 treatments of Adriamyacin and 4 treatments of Cytoxin then that is 8 more treatments which is 16 more weeks which is 4 MONTHS! I was floored. Dr. Waples had told me the treatment would take about 4 months and I should finish about the end of August without complications. Then he said halfway yesterday and I started April 24th so that would mean the end of August too. So I guess he was just trying to make it sound better, but I also asked him about the other 2 drugs being 4 treatments each so something doesn't add up. I can't be halfway through and have 4 months left. Anyway............it's neither here nor there. I have to do the treatments, but I cannot tell you the devastation I felt and I cried all the way home from Mom's. I've asked all along for them to just be really up front and honest with me and the time table just doesn't add up and I've been up this morning on my knees praying because I have got to let this go and just move on.
I just need you all to pray. If I have 4 more months of this, that is going to be very detrimental at work. We have a new doctor starting August the 1st and our clinic will be open 40 hours a week. Without even being concerned about my finances (I can't even allow myself to go there), it will be a nightmare for my other nurse for my hours to be cut like they are for 4 more months.
And also be praying because my next treatment on July 5th will be when I begin the Adriamyacin (Red Devil) which is the worst of the drugs. Pray that my body will just tolerate it well and I won't be sick. Pray that I can continue to work like I need too.
Now.............that's enough of the fear and worry part.
My treatment went well yeaterday. They only stuck me 3 times yesterday and Shannon reminded me that the chemo scars your veins and ruins them so the sticks in the same areas they have been using may be from the chemo. The first 2 sticks blew and left nice bruises, but she tried the 3rd one in a totally different area and it slid right in. I cannot say enough about the nurses and staff at CCI. They have the best spirits and attitudes and they are so funny when they can't get the IV. I am the same way when I can't get one, but it's funny to be on the other side of them being upset about it. Thank GOD again that the sticks don't phase me or bother me. And thank God for phenomenal nurses!
I met a new man across from me who was doing his first treatment and he was so sweet. I was able to encourage him about the staff and the treatments. I just forgot to ask him his name! His little wife was sweet too. They were all excited about the snack cart! HA HA HA
Another praise is that I am not as tired today as I was after treatment last week. I am sluggish and have a pretty good headache, but otherwise I feel fairly decent. Mind you I am sitting at my desk in my pajamas drinking coffeee so I haven't done much to get tired yet.
God has also used this time to minister to me through this song that I am singing at church Sunday. It is a song that has been my testimony and since my cancer diagnosis has REALLY been my testimony. Remember the phrase I always use, "When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart"? Well, that is a Babbie Mason song and I am singing it Sunday. I've had some trouble with the melody on the verses and I realized last night that it's because God wants me to hear HIS message in the song over and over and over. Every time I sing the song, I am hit again with the message to it. Then I just laughed at how awesome God is and HOW AWESOME He uses little things like that and we don't even realize He is doing it. Pray though that I can nail the melody and that I won't cry while I am singing the song. It's a pretty powerful message in my life. Those of you who are out of town and won't be at church, let me know if you want the lyrics to it and I'll send them to you.
Also just a little side note. I have this knot on the back of my neck. I think it is a fatty cyst. It has been there for quite a while, but when Sherry (my partner at work) noticed it the other day and I got to feeling of it, I think it is getting bigger. Pray about that! I don't have time for anything else to go wrong right now!
Pray for Daddy too. He's just not perking up and doing better and he told Mom this morning that he thinks he's given up. He's depressed and we don't know how to help him. It's pulling Mom down too and they just really, really need your prayers.
I also want to ask for prayer for a mentor and friend of mine, Ken Prater. Many of you already know this, but for the 20 or so who don't, he is having surgery Monday for colon cancer and I have had more trouble dealing with his diagnosis than I think I did my own. Ken is one of the most special people I have ever known and I keep asking God how many people I love are going to have to walk this journey. My Father just reminds me that He is in control and He won't give us more than we can bear.(1 Corinthians 10:13) I have to trust that.
My tastes are beginning to change from the chemo too. My Diet Mountain Dew has been tasting very metallic this week and that is just UGLY! HA HA HA People keep asking me what I need and I crack jokes about Starbuck's Gift cards because my little iced Starbucks is the one thing that REALLY still tastes good. Thank God the Propel is still going down OK. My "Propel Princess" has kept Propel at my house for me the whole time and I haven't had to worry about it the first time. SO many of you have been the hands and feet of Jesus during this and I just can't thank you enough for helping take care of me. I pray that God pours His blessings out tenfold on you and your families.
I think I have rambled on long enough! Keep praying and thank you so much for reading and letting me know that you want updates. Sometimes I think why in the world would people read all this mumbo jumbo and just when I think I will quit doing the lengthy updates someone will tell me how much they enjoy them.
I want to leave you with this prayer. My best friend gave it to me right after I was diagnosed and it has been hanging on my computer screen ever since. I read it and pray it every day. I pray it over each of you today:
"May today be all that you need it to be. May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight and conquer all of your fears. May God manifest himself today in ways that you have never experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith enters a new height for you. I pray that your territory is enlarged and I pray that you step into your destiny within the ministry. I pray for peace, health, happiness and true and undying love for God."
Hebrews 4:16,
Susan
I'm going to watch the last of the LOTR trilogy today and that makes me sad. I have enjoyed it so much!
Guess what??? I bought the CUTEST strawberry blonde wig off eBay today and you will never believe how much i paid for it??? $20. Yes, $20. I could not believe it! I am sooooooooo excited! That is just unheard of!
Mornin' friends and family,
Praise God I have finished the first chemo drug! I had my last dose of Taxol yesterday and it is completed. I have to admit though that this milestone was shattered yesterday afternoon and the devil almost had a field day with me. I went by to see Mom and Dad and Dr. Waples had told me yesterday that I was halfway through. Well, when Mom got to figuring up (she's the math whiz and I am SOOOOO not) if I have 4 treatments of Adriamyacin and 4 treatments of Cytoxin then that is 8 more treatments which is 16 more weeks which is 4 MONTHS! I was floored. Dr. Waples had told me the treatment would take about 4 months and I should finish about the end of August without complications. Then he said halfway yesterday and I started April 24th so that would mean the end of August too. So I guess he was just trying to make it sound better, but I also asked him about the other 2 drugs being 4 treatments each so something doesn't add up. I can't be halfway through and have 4 months left. Anyway............it's neither here nor there. I have to do the treatments, but I cannot tell you the devastation I felt and I cried all the way home from Mom's. I've asked all along for them to just be really up front and honest with me and the time table just doesn't add up and I've been up this morning on my knees praying because I have got to let this go and just move on.
I just need you all to pray. If I have 4 more months of this, that is going to be very detrimental at work. We have a new doctor starting August the 1st and our clinic will be open 40 hours a week. Without even being concerned about my finances (I can't even allow myself to go there), it will be a nightmare for my other nurse for my hours to be cut like they are for 4 more months.
And also be praying because my next treatment on July 5th will be when I begin the Adriamyacin (Red Devil) which is the worst of the drugs. Pray that my body will just tolerate it well and I won't be sick. Pray that I can continue to work like I need too.
Now.............that's enough of the fear and worry part.
My treatment went well yeaterday. They only stuck me 3 times yesterday and Shannon reminded me that the chemo scars your veins and ruins them so the sticks in the same areas they have been using may be from the chemo. The first 2 sticks blew and left nice bruises, but she tried the 3rd one in a totally different area and it slid right in. I cannot say enough about the nurses and staff at CCI. They have the best spirits and attitudes and they are so funny when they can't get the IV. I am the same way when I can't get one, but it's funny to be on the other side of them being upset about it. Thank GOD again that the sticks don't phase me or bother me. And thank God for phenomenal nurses!
I met a new man across from me who was doing his first treatment and he was so sweet. I was able to encourage him about the staff and the treatments. I just forgot to ask him his name! His little wife was sweet too. They were all excited about the snack cart! HA HA HA
Another praise is that I am not as tired today as I was after treatment last week. I am sluggish and have a pretty good headache, but otherwise I feel fairly decent. Mind you I am sitting at my desk in my pajamas drinking coffeee so I haven't done much to get tired yet.
God has also used this time to minister to me through this song that I am singing at church Sunday. It is a song that has been my testimony and since my cancer diagnosis has REALLY been my testimony. Remember the phrase I always use, "When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart"? Well, that is a Babbie Mason song and I am singing it Sunday. I've had some trouble with the melody on the verses and I realized last night that it's because God wants me to hear HIS message in the song over and over and over. Every time I sing the song, I am hit again with the message to it. Then I just laughed at how awesome God is and HOW AWESOME He uses little things like that and we don't even realize He is doing it. Pray though that I can nail the melody and that I won't cry while I am singing the song. It's a pretty powerful message in my life. Those of you who are out of town and won't be at church, let me know if you want the lyrics to it and I'll send them to you.
Also just a little side note. I have this knot on the back of my neck. I think it is a fatty cyst. It has been there for quite a while, but when Sherry (my partner at work) noticed it the other day and I got to feeling of it, I think it is getting bigger. Pray about that! I don't have time for anything else to go wrong right now!
Pray for Daddy too. He's just not perking up and doing better and he told Mom this morning that he thinks he's given up. He's depressed and we don't know how to help him. It's pulling Mom down too and they just really, really need your prayers.
I also want to ask for prayer for a mentor and friend of mine, Ken Prater. Many of you already know this, but for the 20 or so who don't, he is having surgery Monday for colon cancer and I have had more trouble dealing with his diagnosis than I think I did my own. Ken is one of the most special people I have ever known and I keep asking God how many people I love are going to have to walk this journey. My Father just reminds me that He is in control and He won't give us more than we can bear.(1 Corinthians 10:13) I have to trust that.
My tastes are beginning to change from the chemo too. My Diet Mountain Dew has been tasting very metallic this week and that is just UGLY! HA HA HA People keep asking me what I need and I crack jokes about Starbuck's Gift cards because my little iced Starbucks is the one thing that REALLY still tastes good. Thank God the Propel is still going down OK. My "Propel Princess" has kept Propel at my house for me the whole time and I haven't had to worry about it the first time. SO many of you have been the hands and feet of Jesus during this and I just can't thank you enough for helping take care of me. I pray that God pours His blessings out tenfold on you and your families.
I think I have rambled on long enough! Keep praying and thank you so much for reading and letting me know that you want updates. Sometimes I think why in the world would people read all this mumbo jumbo and just when I think I will quit doing the lengthy updates someone will tell me how much they enjoy them.
I want to leave you with this prayer. My best friend gave it to me right after I was diagnosed and it has been hanging on my computer screen ever since. I read it and pray it every day. I pray it over each of you today:
"May today be all that you need it to be. May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight and conquer all of your fears. May God manifest himself today in ways that you have never experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith enters a new height for you. I pray that your territory is enlarged and I pray that you step into your destiny within the ministry. I pray for peace, health, happiness and true and undying love for God."
Hebrews 4:16,
Susan