Today I just wandered into traffic.
So, I'm kind of oblivious sometimes, people. I swear, sometimes I just have NO CLUE what is going on.
My fic for spn_j2_bigbang has received some really strong responses, positive and negative. And in both cases, I'm kind of blown away. When I set out to write it, I had just developed a big crush on a 300+ lb kid on TV who, in my opinion, happened to look a little like Jensen Ackles (see icon.) I thought he was adorable, and I wanted to slash him with this cute, southern-drawl-y trainer who reminded me of a pint-sized version of Jared Padalecki. That was pretty much all.
Then balefully and I bonded over the fic idea, and we injected a lot of ourselves into the characters (both Jared and Jensen) and the story became (for me) less about Jensen needing to lose weight, and more about Jensen believing he is worthy of love. Which (again, for me) had more to do with him accepting his sexuality and feeling confident in himself than with how much he weighed.
In either case, it was never my intent to make anyone hate themselves, or hate me, or hate anyone at all. It was never my intent to express either a preference or a distaste for people of any age, size, gender, race, etc, nor to imply that in order to find love or get laid, Jensen had to lose a ton of weight. Nor was it my intent, frankly, to motivate people to hit the gym, or change their diet, or to look up an old friend and give them a call. It wasn't meant to be a realistic portrayal of what it's like to be a real person in either fictional!Jensen or fictional!Jared's situations, or what it's like to lose weight that rapidly or on that scale.
Really, it was just meant to entertain a few people. Maybe tell a cute love story. Find out for myself whether or not people in fandom would still like to read slashfic about a guy who didn't have rock-hard abs or a tight ass.
And I think the fic did what I had intended it to do, but it also, apparently, made some people feel bad. Mostly people I don't really know, which sucks, but also a few people who I like and respect, and that sucks too. I'm sorry - whoever you are. Please don't feel any obligation to read the fic, or to like it, or anything. Just know it was not my intention to make anyone feel anything other than happy, and maybe a bit horny.
Equally, while I'm so happy that many people found the story motivating, and commented that they were heading out for a jog, or off to the gym after reading - I wonder if I should warn for the fact that you should check with your health care provider before starting or significantly modifying either your diet or fitness routine? And tell you that it's entirely possible that you are beautiful and healthy just the way you are? I just wanted you guys to like the porn. I have no idea whether you should be running or eating more fruit or less carbs or doing pilates.
I am just not that smart, you guys!
In related news, several people have told me that my summary is not a good description of what happens in the fic. (People who liked the fic and people who didn't like the fic both had that reaction.) So, if you've read my fic (loved or hated) and you think I should add warnings or be more specific in the fic summary, please comment and let me know! I'm not adverse to warning for things or writing a more thorough summary - I'm just not very good at this, apparently. :-)
If you haven't read my fic, then just ignore all of this and continue along in your merry existence!
ETA: I have added self-esteem and weight-related issues as a warning to my fic and a disclaimer letting people know that being healthy and happy is more important than what you weigh. Hopefully that helps!
My fic for spn_j2_bigbang has received some really strong responses, positive and negative. And in both cases, I'm kind of blown away. When I set out to write it, I had just developed a big crush on a 300+ lb kid on TV who, in my opinion, happened to look a little like Jensen Ackles (see icon.) I thought he was adorable, and I wanted to slash him with this cute, southern-drawl-y trainer who reminded me of a pint-sized version of Jared Padalecki. That was pretty much all.
Then balefully and I bonded over the fic idea, and we injected a lot of ourselves into the characters (both Jared and Jensen) and the story became (for me) less about Jensen needing to lose weight, and more about Jensen believing he is worthy of love. Which (again, for me) had more to do with him accepting his sexuality and feeling confident in himself than with how much he weighed.
In either case, it was never my intent to make anyone hate themselves, or hate me, or hate anyone at all. It was never my intent to express either a preference or a distaste for people of any age, size, gender, race, etc, nor to imply that in order to find love or get laid, Jensen had to lose a ton of weight. Nor was it my intent, frankly, to motivate people to hit the gym, or change their diet, or to look up an old friend and give them a call. It wasn't meant to be a realistic portrayal of what it's like to be a real person in either fictional!Jensen or fictional!Jared's situations, or what it's like to lose weight that rapidly or on that scale.
Really, it was just meant to entertain a few people. Maybe tell a cute love story. Find out for myself whether or not people in fandom would still like to read slashfic about a guy who didn't have rock-hard abs or a tight ass.
And I think the fic did what I had intended it to do, but it also, apparently, made some people feel bad. Mostly people I don't really know, which sucks, but also a few people who I like and respect, and that sucks too. I'm sorry - whoever you are. Please don't feel any obligation to read the fic, or to like it, or anything. Just know it was not my intention to make anyone feel anything other than happy, and maybe a bit horny.
Equally, while I'm so happy that many people found the story motivating, and commented that they were heading out for a jog, or off to the gym after reading - I wonder if I should warn for the fact that you should check with your health care provider before starting or significantly modifying either your diet or fitness routine? And tell you that it's entirely possible that you are beautiful and healthy just the way you are? I just wanted you guys to like the porn. I have no idea whether you should be running or eating more fruit or less carbs or doing pilates.
I am just not that smart, you guys!
In related news, several people have told me that my summary is not a good description of what happens in the fic. (People who liked the fic and people who didn't like the fic both had that reaction.) So, if you've read my fic (loved or hated) and you think I should add warnings or be more specific in the fic summary, please comment and let me know! I'm not adverse to warning for things or writing a more thorough summary - I'm just not very good at this, apparently. :-)
If you haven't read my fic, then just ignore all of this and continue along in your merry existence!
ETA: I have added self-esteem and weight-related issues as a warning to my fic and a disclaimer letting people know that being healthy and happy is more important than what you weigh. Hopefully that helps!