(no subject)
Disclaimer: Alexander and Hephaistion do not belong to me but history. All of the other characters of my fic (Colin, Jared, aso.) unfortunately do not belong to me either. I do not claim to know any of them and this is a work of fiction only. (And I hope I won’t be sued for slander!)
Chapter 1
He had never acted in a scene as intense as this one. Not even the death of Cleitus had hurt him that much and it was real pain indeed. Colin had already noticed various times but he had not felt it so brutally before: He no longer could distance himself from his role. After he had literally stabbed Gary he had slept the night near the set to get out of his character again but this trick would not work a second time. Colin rubbed his eyes and sighed. He felt as if his every bone was weary or even broken. And then, his leg and arm still had not healed completely yet.
Jared took everything too easily, Colin thought and envied him secretly for not feeling all the chaos he always did while getting into character or, as people told him, became the person he was supposed to play. What a lucky lad this Jared was. He was so into his music thing by now that he nearly forgot to take his acting jobs seriously anymore. What a waste, Colin thought while he kneeled in front of the huge bed. He did like Jared’s voice though.
“Ready for breaking my heart again?” he asked his comrade and wondered how often they had to repeat this certain scene. “If I have to do it more than once... I go insane, I swear.”
“You’ll be great. And shut up! Or I’ll be in bed for the rest of the day.”
“Why don’t you just enjoy these breaks? You are in the most comfortable position! I am kneeling most of the time! And it’s your last scene too. You should be more wistful. Didn’t you like being Hephaistion?”
“Hm...” Jared smiled at him tenderly, his typical grin gone for the moment. “It’s easy for you to love your character. It’s the role of your life.”
Although Colin had guessed that Hephaistion’s death scene would be hard and time consuming, he was not prepared for the impact of it all. That damn Oliver Stone made him say his lines again and again until he believed he had really turned into Alexander. Well, if he had not at least the feeling seemed to be real. He felt like losing the love of his life and it was somehow quite easy because it was Jared lying there on the sheets. He was so beautiful, a look into his eyes honestly could make him forget who he was.
Colin had started trembling a few takes before and he knew that he would die if he could not have a cigarette pretty soon. The crew obviously noticed how shaken he was because that Italian guy whose name he was to forget all the time talked to Oliver who finally stood up and called it a day.
“F*ck!” Colin yelled and did not bother to stand up. He just remained on the stool next to that huge bed in which Jared was wrapped in cosy blankets. “I can’t bear this sh*t anymore.”
“You were great!” the Persian looking German playing Pharnaces shouted in his direction. He was called Erol and Colin had quickly become his friend, looking after his kids and borrowing his handycam once in a while. He looked like a supermodel, which he actually had been a few years before. Colin was so sick of all that beauty around him this evening. He was still in his Alexander-mode, unable to move away from the bed.
“We’ll continue tomorrow.” That was the only utterance he understood Oliver saying before drifting with his thoughts to the time and world Alexander had lived in. And Hephaistion was dying.
“Jesus Christ, I fear I’ll need psychological treatment after this!” He rubbed his left hand over his face and kept the other one wrapped around Jared’s hand. He did not notice the lads around him making jokes about the two of them still staying in their positions while everybody else started leaving. Only when someone shouted his name did he react in his typical Irish friendliness. “F*ck off or I make you!”
Jared had been unnaturally silent and did not even bother to open his eyes to make one of his own jokes. Colin looked up and frowned worriedly when he saw how pale he had gone.
“Are you alright?” He wanted to touch Jared’s front to see if it was hot but before he could touch him the eyes of his friend flew open and the terrific blue was locked to the ceiling.
“You alright?” Colin repeated his question in a tender tone and Jared started starring at him as if he had never seen him before. “Hey, what’s up?”
Jared took in a deep breath and a strange sound escaped his throat. He wanted to sit up but only managed to after a second try. His eyes were still fixed on Colin but then he looked around the bed but only to return his gaze to the young man before him.
“Have you fallen asleep, you bloody bastard?” Colin wanted to make a joke but he still did not feel like laughing himself. “I play my heart out and you sleep an angel’s sleep! Thank you very much for all that commitment!”
Jared still looked at him without making the tiniest sound but at least his face seemed to break from the shock and showed insecurity as well as confusion. Colin hated himself for thinking like that but he found that it made him a lot more sexual than his sunnyboy behaviour.
“Just a joke. I too could fall asleep any second if I’d let myself. Let’s lose our costumes or the others will leave without us.”
Jared closed his eyes and touched his head. When he returned Colin’s gaze again he looked much more confident again. A bit angry even. He finally said something but Colin could not understand a single word. And it was not because of this awful American accent he normally had. Jared was obviously making fun of him by talking nonsense nobody could possibly understand.
“Don’t get onto my nerves! I had a bloody f*cking day and I swear I’ll beat you to pieces if you make fun of me ever again.”
“Hey, Alexander! Hephaistion! What are you guys still doing there? Hurry up or we’ll leave without you. We’re all tired like hell.”
Jared looked into the direction the voice came from but then he opened his mouth a bit before touching Colin’s shoulder.
“Alexander?” he asked and shook his head before he repeated the name in his Greek form. “Alexandros?”
“Yeah, yeah. Megas Alexandros or how ever Hopkins calls me in the last line of the script.”
Jared leaned in closer, so close that Colin was too surprised to ask what the hell he was doing. The older one reached out to touch the scar on the other’s shoulder that was no longer any make-up but a real wound from crashing into a stone after being thrown off of one of the Buccis, how he lovingly called the stallions, ignoring their real names.
“That’s not in the script, you know.” He joked but let the other one run his hand through his hair too. “What exactly are you doing?”
Jared only looked at him with eyes so full of confusion that it would have been a lie not to call it sweet. Colin shook his head over such a stupid thought. He was a womaniser after all.
“Come on, Hephaistion. We gotta go.” He decided to take the lead and grapped Jared’s arm to pull him out of bed. “No time to change anymore if we want to catch up with the others.”
The two hurried to one of the doors but when Colin looked outside he could not see anybody anymore. They obviously had missed the cars by a minute or two.
“Sh*t! They are gone! Are you satisfied now?”
They were not completely alone though. Three guys and the lady behind the counter looked at them as if they were aliens from outer-space. Most likely it was the costumes and the wig that Colin was still wearing and which did not seem to bother him at all because he was about to leave the studio without taking it off. But then they had experienced the star sleeping on the set in full costume too and they had stopped wondering about him a long time ago.
“Do you want me to call a taxi for you, Mr. Farrell?” a crewmember asked who was whipping dirt from one of the expensive carpets.
“Only if this thingy there isn’t a magic carpet, sir.”
“Unfortunately, no. Shall I give them a call?”
“Yes, please.” Colin grinned and looked back at Jared, his hand still in his own. “And now all people call me rude! Am I not a gentleman?”
Jared only looked at him with his lips pressed into a thin line and Colin turned away with a bit frustration building up.
“Alright, so you too think that I am a barbarian, as the old Makedons would say, right? But I am not. Otherwise I’d take that carpet beater and... Forget it.” He finally let go of Jared’s hand then and waited for that guy to gesture them that they could go outside.
Jared followed Colin into the rainy night but stayed behind a few good steps. As soon as the Irishman left the building and took a breath of the chilly air he felt much more at ease. He was not Alexander the Great and he was not left behind in a world where he had lost his most important being. Life was still great and he was a star only acting the most fascinating person in history. He was such a lucky bastard.
“Now this is fine British weather, isn’t it?” He had already forgotten his anger a few minutes later when he waved to show the taxi driver that he was interested in taking a ride. He was not quite prepared for Jared to throw his arms around him all of a sudden. When he looked at him, he noticed that the other one was shaking and his face was literally pale as chalk. “What’s wrong? Did you think we don’t have yellow caps in Great Britain or what? Hey, Jared? What’s wrong?”
Colin looked to the taxi-driver who opened a door for them and turned back to Jared.
“What are you waiting for? Wanna have a written invitation from the guy or what?”
Jared’s eyes found his and they just stared at each other for a while which made not only Colin sigh impatiently.
“Do you need any help, sir?”
“No, just a minute.” Colin waved to the old man to wait in the taxi so he would not have to get soaking wet as he himself already was. The producers would kill him for ruining the expensive clothes he was wearing. The wig was nice though as it kept him warm. “Will you tell me what’s wrong or do I have to leave you freezing to death right here? You know, I won’t carry you over, so you’ll better decide to start going.”
Jared started talking a few words but it was only a whisper and Colin could not understand them acoustically. The dark-haired man’s look still showed fear, panic even, and the Irish actor worried he could have fallen seriously ill. Or maybe he had made his first experiences with one of the little sins which Colin had tried in his early youth to have his mind a little bit diddly.
“Do you want to walk or go by car?” the taxi-driver shouted out of his vehicle, not wanting to leave it again as it was pouring cats and dogs by now.
“Just give us another minute, okay?” Colin answered and tried to loose Jared’s grip. “Bloody heaven, what’s wrong with you today?”
“Common guys, I don’t have all day!”
“Just let the counter run!” The Irish yelled back to the car and his accent became thicker. “I’ll better take you to the doctor, Jared. You look horrible.”
He wanted to take hold of his friend but Jared fought of his hands when he noticed that Colin wanted to lead him to the taxi.
The taxi driver started yelling at them already and as he obviously did not recognise one of the two stars, he was less polite than before. Colin shouted back and they started a verbal fight during which the driver revealed himself to be a Welshman. This went on for one and a half minute or so but sometime during their loud conversation Jared let go of Colin and ran towards the car screaming as if he wanted to kill the poor lad inside. The young Irish had to quickly chase him and hold him back as he feared that Jared would do something rash otherwise.
“What are you thinking? No bad publicity like that! Calm down!”
Jared was shouting in that foreign tongue again and the driver, obviously as afraid as angry, made a last remark before throwing the door shut and starting the engine. When he passed them he made a few offensive gestures and did not drive off without a good share of loud honking. When Jared heard the sound and was hit by the strong lights, he tore himself from Colin’s grip and started running back to the studio. The young actor was too surprised to follow his friend instantly but it was not hard to find him anyway.
Jared was sitting behind the door of Hephaistion’s room and had locked it with the help of the stool Colin was supposed to sit on when they acted the death scene.
“Jared, let me in! Come on! What’s wrong with you?”
There was no answer but he could make out the other’s silhouette in the dark.
“Are you alright? Don’t you feel well?”
Jared was silent but he wrapped his arms around his knees, Colin could see it through the trellis. The good-looking Irish sighed loudly and sat down against the other side of the wooden door. He could not possibly leave when Jared was acting like that. He might hurt himself in his state. Maybe he was not ill but stuck in his role as he himself had been after the killing of Cleitos. It was best if he stayed and made sure that Jared was okay. And if he thought that Jared needed to see a doctor urgently later on, he could break open that door easily. He would be killed by the crew for it but he did not care at the moment.
“Try to calm down again. I’ll stay with you, okay? You’re Jared Leto, not Hephaistion. We can leave whenever you feel fit enough. And leave the other personality inside the studio when we do.” Somehow he knew that he would not get to sleep in his cosy bed tonight. “I’ll wait right here, alright?”