Family Bussiness
I had a falling out with my father. I suspect it's the permanent kind. He and mom split up about 6 months ago, because she suspected he was having an affair. Four months ago he was swearing he didn't have another woman and that all he wanted was for them to work things out.
Turns out he was having an affair, since about a year or two. And that lately (this is a small town, after all) he's been going up and down with his lover.
Who is 29. I'm 21. My brother is 13. There's the same age difference beteween my bro and I and between me and that woman.
I knew about the girlfriend thing. I didn't much care either way and I was expecting it. He mentioned her a few times when we were talking and it didn't bother me.
My big ass family form my dad's side has a celebration every year on independence day, meaning tomorrow. Siblings and I were invited. And it turns out that yesterday he happened to mention that the woman, Carla, was going too. Meaning, he was actually introducing his girlfriend to my family when he and my mom haven't even divorced yet.
I told him I wasn't going. That I didn't feel confortable. Mostly because I didn't want to spend the day ducking out of her way or risking being rude to her. I have a bit of a tendency to make very biting comments when I'm angry. Later that night, I talked to my bro to tell him not to go. I told him why. He wanted to go anyway.
I was forced to tell my mum, because hell if I was going to let my baby bro in there. Theory and reality are very different things, and I didn't want him to see something he probaby wasn't ready to face. So mum, he and I had a chat, trying to convince him not to go. And then the shit hit the fan.
Baby bro already knew her. My dad had taken him to have lunch with her a few times. The asshole.
He took the love and admiration my baby bro had for him, the trust my mum had put him to let him see my brother and take him out whenever and wherever he wanted, and used it to brainwash my bother into accepting this little oportunistic bitch as his girlfriend. He hid it from us while he tried to sweetalk us all into accepting her as some sweet, tender woman, who just happens to be 17 year younger than he is and his... secretary? Higenist? Whatever they call the woman that hands stuff to the dentist while he is working.
Now, I'm 21. I can take it. I can give as good as I get. But fuck it if I'll let him keep my boy into forming his own oppinion on things. Fuck it all to heel if I let him force bro into situations he's not ready to face, just because he can. Fuck if I'll let dad manipulate him.
We argued over the phone (he called me for some other reason) I asked him how he could have done this and that, and his anser to everything was "so?". I sent him to hell and hung up. He kept harassing me by phone, mom stepped in, then by cell phone...
Final conversation was along the lines of
dad: I'm standing right outside your house. Come on over.
self: No. I don't want to have anyhting to do with you.
dad: I have a right to explain to you!
self: You have only as many rights as I give you!!!
dad: IF YOU THINK I'M JUST GONNA TAKE YOUR SHIT, YOU GODDAM!!!
self (singsong): Ok, right, bye!
I asked a friend to walk me over to my grandparents, I wished them a happy independence day (my dad was there. We didn't talk to each other, but I was nervous. If there hadn't been so many people and my friend hadn't been there, I wouldn't have put it past him to hld me down while he explained. he's a very strong man) and then went back to friend' s place and to my own (friend and I are practically neighbors).
I won't have anything to do with him. I won't have him hurt my boy. He's not the man I though he was, not at all, because he has been behaving pretty low lately, but this is just too much. I can't cut him out of my life, as he is my father. But there'll be no more daddy, or icecream or hand-in-hand walks in the park. Not when I feel that he's allways buttering me up for something. I'll keep working with him, thouh I'll raise the fees (I don't feel sorry anymore) because I need to buy meds and it's good money, and he he wants to keep giving me money, he can send me a monthly check.
And that's it. He got a new lover because his wife wouldn't appaud his antics. he can get new kids too, as far as I'm concerned, because he just went and trampled over the love and trust we had on him. Again. So this is it.
There. I just nedded to get it out of my chest. You don't have to read it, it was just... therapeutic.