Two Subjects Close to my Heart
For years I’ve been saying to anyone that would listen that they need to make toothpaste in some flavour that’s not mint. It seems insane that I can get a toothbrush with more gizmos than a Porsche, but there’s only one flavour toothpaste out there. I’ve been amusing myself for the past couple of years by buying the children’s stuff that comes with sparkles in it. Anyway, I though the other day that finally someone had listened to be because there was lemon-mint flavoured stuff in my supermarket. Which would be brilliant if not for the fact it tastes DISGUSTING. It's like cleaning your mouth with lemon dishwashing liquid. I know toothpaste is essentially a cleaning product, but it certainly shouldn’t taste like one. So back to the sparkly kind I think. But really, is chocolate flavoured toothpaste really so hard to invent?
In non-toothpaste related news, I did that shipper meme that’s been floating around Doctor Who fandom.
One True Pairing Ship: Four/Sarah. Because they’re two people so perfect for each other but in a relationship that would never work long term (human long term not Time Lord long term), and I love that. They’ve got the same curiosity, love of adventure and nose for trouble with those strong contrasting and complementing personalities and characteristics. They’re best friends and each other’s better half. But he’s Four, the loner and constant traveller who cannot bare to in one place for long, and she’s Sarah, who defines herself by her job and who loves to travel but needs to have her home on Earth. From The Terror of the Zygons to The Hand of Fear they’re in an unplanned and unspoken compromise - she sometimes stops everything for a while and travels for a while and other times he waits for her on Earth. And she thinks the compromise is working, but he knows it’s not and he can’t ask her to choose between him and her home, because Sarah won’t just give up everything she is for him, and he knows it. And even if she did, she’s human, she ages. So he never asks her too choose, instead he just never returns. And for thirty years she doesn’t know why.
Canon Ship: Barbara/Ganatus (from The Daleks) A school teacher in her mid 30s from 1963 but is just so 1950s hooking up with a hot and barely dressed leather pants wearing alien? In the second serial of a kids show, back when it actually was aimed at kids? It was so left field (now if that can happen, it gives some hope for Sarah/Alan). And she kisses him. You go girl!
'If This Happens I'll Stab My Eyes Out with a Fork' Ship: Martha/Owen. I think nearly everyone has put this down. Maybe also Martha/Ten, because if after the crappy way he treats her, and her getting over him, if he then falls in romantic love with her and starts messing with her emotions and undoing her break from him, then Donna better be there to kick him in the balls and tell him he doesn’t deserve her, because otherwise I’m going to have to find some way to crawl into my TV set and do it.
'You Are One Sick Bastard' Ship: Jack/The Doctor’s Hand. Because it’s a hand. I know there’s just the one joke in there, but that joke never gets old (and I am apparently 8 years old).
'I Dabble A Little' Ship: Ten/Donna. I’m not sure what I want from this pairing. I adore Ten and Donna together, and think they have wonderful chemistry, and I think Ten developing a well written crush on her would adorably cute (he’s totally in awe of her by the end of The Runaway Bride, so he’s already half way there), plus the pairing lends itself so well to crack. But on the other hand I’m so sick of the New Who writing Doctor/Companion relationships, in particular The Crush That Devoured Martha, that I yearn for a more old school relationship of best friends travelling through time and space bickering all the time just because it’s really hard to screw that up, and if I want to ship it, I can always read in the subtext.
'It's Like A Car Crash' Ship: Ten/Simm!Master. We’re talking about car crash here in the good sense aren’t we? Because that is the way to describe their relationship, and it’s brilliant to watch.
'Tickles My Fancy But Not Quite Sold Yet' Ship: Barbara/Ian. I know it’s pretty much canon, and they are cute together, but I just don’t know…It’s just not got that Babs/Ganatus level of awesome.
'Makes No Canon Sense But Why the Hell Not' Ship: Barbara/Nine. I was writing them interacting the other day and realised she just epitomises everything Nine seems to admire and encourage, after all, it’s Babs, she will just roll up her sleeves, go out and save the day by all by herself without any prompting. It’d so work.
'Everyone Else Loves It But I Just Don't Feel It' Ship: Four/Romana (please don’t stone me flisters). It’s so popular that I feel like I’m missing some sort of vital connection in my brain. I feel Eight/Romana, but I’ve watched City of Death and The Leisure Hive and I love Four and really like Romana, but I just don’t see the chemistry. Maybe I just need to watch me some Romana I serials.
'When All is Said and Done' Ship: TARDIS/Everything that moves and a few things that don’t. Come on, all that psychic connection stuff? And the constantly "breaking down" and requiring "fixing"? The running to the end of the universe to get away from the bloke she had a fling with in Cardiff? Boom Town was porn, y’all.
In non-toothpaste related news, I did that shipper meme that’s been floating around Doctor Who fandom.
One True Pairing Ship: Four/Sarah. Because they’re two people so perfect for each other but in a relationship that would never work long term (human long term not Time Lord long term), and I love that. They’ve got the same curiosity, love of adventure and nose for trouble with those strong contrasting and complementing personalities and characteristics. They’re best friends and each other’s better half. But he’s Four, the loner and constant traveller who cannot bare to in one place for long, and she’s Sarah, who defines herself by her job and who loves to travel but needs to have her home on Earth. From The Terror of the Zygons to The Hand of Fear they’re in an unplanned and unspoken compromise - she sometimes stops everything for a while and travels for a while and other times he waits for her on Earth. And she thinks the compromise is working, but he knows it’s not and he can’t ask her to choose between him and her home, because Sarah won’t just give up everything she is for him, and he knows it. And even if she did, she’s human, she ages. So he never asks her too choose, instead he just never returns. And for thirty years she doesn’t know why.
Canon Ship: Barbara/Ganatus (from The Daleks) A school teacher in her mid 30s from 1963 but is just so 1950s hooking up with a hot and barely dressed leather pants wearing alien? In the second serial of a kids show, back when it actually was aimed at kids? It was so left field (now if that can happen, it gives some hope for Sarah/Alan). And she kisses him. You go girl!
'If This Happens I'll Stab My Eyes Out with a Fork' Ship: Martha/Owen. I think nearly everyone has put this down. Maybe also Martha/Ten, because if after the crappy way he treats her, and her getting over him, if he then falls in romantic love with her and starts messing with her emotions and undoing her break from him, then Donna better be there to kick him in the balls and tell him he doesn’t deserve her, because otherwise I’m going to have to find some way to crawl into my TV set and do it.
'You Are One Sick Bastard' Ship: Jack/The Doctor’s Hand. Because it’s a hand. I know there’s just the one joke in there, but that joke never gets old (and I am apparently 8 years old).
'I Dabble A Little' Ship: Ten/Donna. I’m not sure what I want from this pairing. I adore Ten and Donna together, and think they have wonderful chemistry, and I think Ten developing a well written crush on her would adorably cute (he’s totally in awe of her by the end of The Runaway Bride, so he’s already half way there), plus the pairing lends itself so well to crack. But on the other hand I’m so sick of the New Who writing Doctor/Companion relationships, in particular The Crush That Devoured Martha, that I yearn for a more old school relationship of best friends travelling through time and space bickering all the time just because it’s really hard to screw that up, and if I want to ship it, I can always read in the subtext.
'It's Like A Car Crash' Ship: Ten/Simm!Master. We’re talking about car crash here in the good sense aren’t we? Because that is the way to describe their relationship, and it’s brilliant to watch.
'Tickles My Fancy But Not Quite Sold Yet' Ship: Barbara/Ian. I know it’s pretty much canon, and they are cute together, but I just don’t know…It’s just not got that Babs/Ganatus level of awesome.
'Makes No Canon Sense But Why the Hell Not' Ship: Barbara/Nine. I was writing them interacting the other day and realised she just epitomises everything Nine seems to admire and encourage, after all, it’s Babs, she will just roll up her sleeves, go out and save the day by all by herself without any prompting. It’d so work.
'Everyone Else Loves It But I Just Don't Feel It' Ship: Four/Romana (please don’t stone me flisters). It’s so popular that I feel like I’m missing some sort of vital connection in my brain. I feel Eight/Romana, but I’ve watched City of Death and The Leisure Hive and I love Four and really like Romana, but I just don’t see the chemistry. Maybe I just need to watch me some Romana I serials.
'When All is Said and Done' Ship: TARDIS/Everything that moves and a few things that don’t. Come on, all that psychic connection stuff? And the constantly "breaking down" and requiring "fixing"? The running to the end of the universe to get away from the bloke she had a fling with in Cardiff? Boom Town was porn, y’all.