[Fanfic][KHR!][59, 27, Arco]Death-Time Meals // The Wonders of Yatsuhashi
happy birthday, 10th gen storm gokudera hayato!
...ouch, three months? I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DISAPPEARING ACT, SOB. I, er, have excuses?
1) My old laptop died and I needed a new one (which took forever to get, because of me needing to, you know, set aside money for university and my rent)
2) I was at the cottage for a large portion of the summer which means NO INTERNET even if I had a laptop
3) I moved.
4) I still do not yet have internet in my new apartment, because the company got confused and so the apartment below mine now has two internet connections and I do not. They are supposed to be correcting that tomorrow. We shall see if it happens.
5) The university itself tried to kick me out because of a technicality. I have argued my case!!!! and won, but I'm on academic probation for this coming year and between arguing my case!!!!! this summer and keeping my grades up during the terms, I'm not sure how much time I can devote to the interwebz now. :(
...oh, who am I kidding? It'll be my gaming the suffers, whut. (On a related note: WHO IS EXCITED FOR BIRTH BY SLEEP? AND ASSASSIN'S CREED BROTHERHOOD?! I am SO excited you don't even KNOW.)
To make it up to you, I bring FICCAGE! And, er, well... it's kind of September 9th. A big day, if you ask me. <3
[I apologize in advance about this fic. I'm writing, editing and posting everything on the timelimit of my new laptop's battery power, which... isn't that spectacular, sob. When I get the chance, I shall write a proper! Goku-centric! Piece of lulz and/or angst, but until then... I offer thee this humble fic.]
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Title: Death-Time Meals (Or: The Wonders of Yatsuhashi)
Series: Amano’s KHR!
Characters/Pairings: Gokudera, Tsuna, Reborn, Lal, Colonello, Skull, Fon, random assassins and bystanders; no pairings unless you decide to squint or take a bystander’s perspective :D
Warnings: Language (thank you, Gokudera), and writing, editing, and posting things on a laptop’s battery time limit.
Summary: The first time Tsuna tried Yatsuhashi was sitting beside his own coffin, lost in a world he and Gokudera had no knowledge of. He’s determined that the second time he eats some, he’ll do it right.
-
“Jyuudaime!” Gokudera greets at the door, holding out a plastic bag, “There’s a street festival at the jinja, and I saw this and thought you might like it!”
Tsuna smiles awkwardly at him, because it seems like every time Gokudera-kun comes over he’s bringing some new supposed novelty. He takes the bag gingerly, you never know if it might not be something alive in there, but it’s not alive, it’s-oh. Oh. “Um, Gokudera-kun... t-this is Yatsuhashi?”
“Yes, Jyuudaime! I figured you’d like to try some fresh Yatsuhashi instead of the kind that I ordered when... er....” Gokudera suddenly decides to impersonate The Scream, realizing when the last (first) time they ate Yatsuhashi was. “I-I’m sorry, Jyuudaime! I didn’t mean to remind you of that! I don’t deserve to live!”
Tsuna sighs, patting Gokudera’s shoulder gently. “I-It’s okay... a-at least now, if I think of Yatsuhashi, I’ll think of eating it with Gokudera-kun on a peaceful day instead of, er... that.” Coffins and forests and being hunted and shot at and shot and all but killed doesn’t have to be mentioned-it probably never will be forgotten, not really. “S-So, um, thank you? And, er, want to come in and help me eat it?”
He really should be used to Gokudera’s bipolar tendencies, Tsuna feels like crying, but the happy, almost sparkling face beaming up at him keeps him from doing anything besides stepping aside for Gokudera to enter the house and toe off his shoes.
“Jyuudaime! Where do you want to eat?” Gokudera beams, craning his neck around to see if there’s anyone in the front room or by the deck.
Of course there is (there always is), and Reborn-followed by more Arcobaleno than Gokudera has seen all together in a long time-parades into the hall, looking up at them imperiously.
“Oi, we heard something about Yatsuhashi,” Colonello states, “so give us some, kora.”
This is quite the dilemma: Gokudera bought the treat for Tsuna, not the Arcobaleno, but they’re the Arcobaleno, so does he really have a right to say no?
Tsuna grumbles, leading everyone back into the front room (Reborn and Lal snatching rides on his shoulders, Fon taking to sitting on his head). “Geez, do you guys ever stop eating-or stealing my food?!” He yelps, watching as a tentacle sneaks into the room from around the corner and grabs the bag of Yatsuhashi. “Skull!”
Skull can be heard snickering from the next room over, and Tsuna and Gokudera are left standing, gaping, as the rest of the Arcobaleno proceed to take off after the missing food. The two Guardians are smart enough to not question the ensuing sounds of pain, explosions, and babies crying, deciding instead to mourn their lost food.
“Forgive me, Jyuudaime!” Gokudera mourns, “I have no more Yatsuhashi for you! I sincerely apologize for not being able to help you create new memories regarding Yatsuhashi!” He proceeds to bash his head off the floor, because that is how Right Hand Men are supposed to mourn and apologize.
“It’s alright, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna tells him. “I can... always go buy some Yatsuhashi later, I guess.” The likelihood of him having the time to find somewhere that sells it and the time to get there to buy it and then the likelihood of getting to actually eat it without it being stolen is, of course, practically nil, but it’s a thought. A nice thought, really, one that doesn’t involve explosions or assassins or even the Vongola.
Gokudera knows all of this (or, at least picks up on the “Reborn is probably going to steal all the food and leave none for Jyuudaime to eat”) and immediately cuts him off. “No, Jyuudaime! We must get you some to try immediately! I cannot let you suffer in your desire for Yatsuhashi if there is a way to obtain some!”
Already, Tsuna is sure that this Will Not End Well, but knows by now that if he doesn’t play along there is only a much, much greater chance of explosions. “Okay, Gokudera-kun, but where can we get some? You said you bought that at the fair, but Reborn said that there’s supposedly some new assassin squad around and trying to kill me, so I probably won’t be allowed to-“
“Jyuudaime doesn’t need to worry about assassins, because I’ll be with you! And if we leave right now, while the Arcobaleno are busy, er, eating, then we can get there before they notice that we’re gone!”
This, Tsuna definitely now knows, can only be a disaster. Only one thing for it: “Just let me change into a yukata and we can go then, okay?”
-
After as quick a change as they are able to manage (Gokudera-kun mentioning that he’d like to change, too, and Tsuna not wanting to have to swing around to Gokudera’s apartment as it’s just one more chance the Arcobaleno have to catch them and so lending him one of his father’s never-before-worn yukata that, while slightly big on Gokudera’s shorter frame, still fits better than any of Tsuna’s own clothes) they are down the street and walking as quickly as possible without being too obvious about running away from something.
“It really isn’t that easy to run in these things,” Gokudera grumbles, tugging on his obi, “How did the ancient Japanese fight in these things?”
“They wore hakama,” Tsuna absent-mindedly states, not paying attention to the fact that, as is want to happen once in a blue moon, he actually knows something that Gokudera doesn’t. “Ne, did it sound quiet to you when we left?”
“Eh? Ah, I think I saw Skull and his octopus being chased down the street by the others while we were changing.”
Tsuna can imagine the imagery-and the chaos it would undoubtedly cause. For the sake of his sanity, he chooses to push it to the back of his mind and continue on their way. “Um, about this festival... is it a big one?” One that we can get lost in and avoid being noticed, though he doesn’t say it aloud.
Gokudera looks thoughtful, guiding him around a corner that, presumably, leads to a shortcut. “It’s not as big as the summer festival with the fireworks, but it’s still fairly large. There’s lots of people there right now, too!” So we can get lost in the crowd, if not the booths.
“Good,” Tsuna breathes, and they not-run the rest of the way.
-
“Now where was that stall,” Gokudera frowns at the crowd, trying to see the signs above the heads of all the people. Tsuna gave up getting his bearings the moment they stepped into the crowd, allowing himself to be pushed and pulled along with Gokudera-kun to wherever the crowd saw fit to deposit them-in this instance, by a goldfish-catching game.
He’s not too sure where even the exit is, where his house is from here, even where the shrine is (it’s a smaller festival, but apparently double the number of attendees), which is all a big no-no in Reborn’s books. Even so, Tsuna decides to ignore safety measures for once and just enjoy the festival.
At which point some child attempting to catch a goldfish falls into the miniature pond behind him, splashing everyone nearby and somehow completely soaking not just himself but Tsuna as well.
“Jyuudaime!” Gokudera yelps, pulling Tsuna away from the game (where the boy is crying and the mother is profusely apologizing) and into the crowd, where they are promptly swept along towards a... drink stall? “Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?”
Tsuna shakes his head, trying to use his hands to simultaneously pull his wet yukata away from his body and wring it out, feeling water dripping down his neck and back and onto his feet. “I-I’m alright, Gokudera-kun, just a little, er, cold.”
“I should go back and explain to that kid exactly who he soaked, and-“
Gokudera and homicidal tendencies are not a good combination, not regarding innocent bystanders. “Gokudera-kun!” Tsuna yelps, dragging him towards the nearby stall. “I, er, could really use a warm drink right now?” And he tries to smile his widest, warmest, most pleading smile, hoping that it will be enough to distract Gokudera from ‘explaining’ anything.
He needn’t have worried: it works immediately, Gokudera practically bouncing the last few steps towards the stall and ordering the first warm drink on the menu he sees. “You like coffee, right, Jyuudaime?”
I really like tea or hot chocolate better, Tsuna wants to say, but even if Reborn hadn’t lectured him at length about appearance and how it is not acceptable for him to be seen drinking a hot chocolate of all things, Tsuna’s own man!pride (normally practically nonexistent) demands that he drink a less childish variety. “S-Sure, Gokudera-kun, a coffee sounds good.”
“Oi,” the man Gokudera is buying the coffee from notices Tsuna and frowns. “Hey, what happened? Do you need something to dry yourself off with?”
Tsuna smiles gratefully, feeling shivers creeping up on him and desperately wanting to get a change of clothes. “Er, yes, if that’s alright, sir?”
“Of course, of course,” the man tells him, and gestures for him to come ‘round the back. “I don’t really have much in your size, but I can lend you my wife’s yukata. She’s gone into Tokyo to see some family, and won’t be back for a couple days-she won’t miss it!”
And Tsuna’s man!pride, having just begun to reassert itself, takes a head dive. Tsuna contents himself with the fact that at least he’ll be warm. And dry. And hopeful not get a cold.
-
Now dressed in a pastel pink yukata with an equally pastel orange obi, Tsuna tries to avoid the glances that are aimed his way as he and Gokudera resume their hunt for some Yatsuhashi.
It doesn’t work, not when Gokudera notices he’s embarrassed and decides to alleviate that embarrassment by... complimenting him? “Really, Jyuudaime, you look great in those colours! They really suit you! You should wear them more often!”
Sob, Tsuna thinks, is Gokudera trying to help him by making him die of embarrassment so that he won’t have to suffer wearing this any longer?
Thankfully, Gokudera is distracted by the sign of the stall they’re just about to pass. “Look, Jyuudaime! Yatsuhashi!”
“Finally,” bemoans Tsuna, and follows Gokudera up to the stall’s vendor, from whom he buys two orders.
The vendor eyes them both, then grins. “Ah, I see! So you came back here because your lady-friend wanted to try some, huh? Hope you like it, ma’am!”
It takes a couple seconds for it to sink in that the vendor is talking to him, and Tsuna splutters while Gokudera, proud at having accomplished his mission!, drags Tsuna away to the first free place to sit he sees. “Jyuudaime! You finally get to try proper Yatsuhashi! Are you excited?”
“Very,” Tsuna replies, though he doesn’t sound excited. He’s still put off by the vendor’s assumption (and his man!pride, having begun to be hopeful of an attempt to take control, is instead writhing in the agony of being K’Oed).
Gokudera gestures grandly to a dirty bench, long stained with various spilled drinks and sauces and food, and tells Tsuna to, “Have a seat, Jyuudaime!” like he’s found his Tenth a throne.
Tsuna doesn’t bother complaining-he just wants the damn Yatsuhashi and to go home before anything else happens.
-
And, just when he’s about to take his first bite (“Gokudera-kun is right, this does look amazing!”) that ‘anything else’ decides to show up.
Specifically, it takes the form of about twenty masked men and women, all of them armed to the teeth with pistols, rifles, hand grenades, and one even toting a missile launcher. “Everybody onto the ground! Face down! Hand over all your money, valuables, and trinkets... and the Vongola Decimo!”
Of course, and Tsuna finds himself completely unsurprised by this turn of events. Of course this would happen to him.
Putting the Yatsuhashi onto the bench carefully (Gokudera grabbing Tsuna’s share and hiding it underneath the bench instead), he falls forward and pulls out the little change he has on his person, pulling Gokudera down with him. “Please, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna admonishes, “please don’t start anything?”
“But Jyuudaime,” Gokudera grumbles, hands sliding away from where he’d probably hidden some explosives as he watches his boss, “they’re threatening you. I can’t let them get away with that!”
Tsuna briefly ponders the likelihood of ever teaching Gokudera subtlety, and decides that it is so far a lost cause that not even Reborn’s information gatherers could find it. “But they don’t realize that they’re threatening me, they think I’m just another person here. If we don’t draw attention to ourselves, they won’t notice us. And a couple yen lost is better than the amount of damage we’d have to deal with if a fight breaks out, right?”
Gokudera grumbles his assent, pulling out what money he has left as well, and both place it on the ground in front of them, lowering themselves to the dirt. Tsuna decides to be grateful that Gokudera’s complaints about “Jyuudaime lying in the dirt like a commoner!” aren’t so loud that anyone else can hear them.
One of the assassins wanders by, stooping to collect their money. He-at least, it sounds like a he-snorts at what he finds. “Bah! Pocket change? Come on, you have to have a little more than that on you!”
“We don’t have any more money,” Tsuna tells him before Gokudera can leap up and scream something else.
“Of course you don’t,” the man (?) sneers, reaching down and pulling Tsuna up by his hair. “And you’re certainly not hiding it underneath that robe, are you missy?”
“I’m not!” Tsuna spazzes: there is running around in one’s boxers, and then there is running around in one’s boxers when apparently everyone thinks you are a girl. “Really!”
“Then you’ll just have to give me something else, won’t you?” The man-Tsuna hopes it’s a man, or this is going to be doubly awkward (or maybe not as awkward?)-leans in for a kiss.
“Don’t you fucking dare!”
The subsequent explosion was very much to be expected, Tsuna reflects as he lies on his side, once again on the ground, and it’s probably just luck that he was able to dodge most of the blast. (What he wasn’t able to dodge he at least managed to avoid keeping from destroying the borrowed yukata, he applauds himself.)
Silence reigns for a moment as everyone slowly comes to terms with what happened. “Hey,” one of the other assassins frowns, “who the fuck did that?”
And then, from the Yatsuhashi stall owner, apparently on the ground not too far from them: “You go, boy! Defend your girlfriend!”
Gokudera, on his feet and dynamite in his hands, rounds on the stall owner. “Jyuudaime isn’t my girlfriend!” He blushes and roars back, and casually tosses some dynamite over his shoulder and roughly towards the assassins.
“Jyuudaime?” One of the assassins who has so far avoided Gokudera’s rage notes, frowning and trying to translate the word, “Doesn’t that mean-“
“Get back here, kora!”
“N-n-never! It is mine!”
Skull-and-octopus end up launching themselves over a couple stalls, knocking down most of the assassins in the process. Tsuna notes with some disbelief that even while running from four other Arcobaleno, Skull still has the time-and the gall-to sit on his familiar’s head and eat the kidnapped Yatsuhashi.
Colonello and Lal continue to give chase through the crowd, knocking over most of the other assassins left and right, but Reborn and Fon stop to note the odd occurrence of everyone seemingly having a simultaneous nap on the ground, scanning the populace almost lazily. Then:
“Baka-Tsuna, I told you to not go outside without an escort. You never know who you’ll run into.”
“WHAT?! You never told me that!”
Fon takes a deep breath, nodding to Gokudera (who, though still annoyed with Fon for, well, everything, nods back), and says, “Whether or not Reborn said that, logic dictates that based on what we know, staying inside until an escort can be obtained is the best course of action.”
“I did say that, even if you weren’t listening,” Reborn glowers, and drop-kicks Tsuna in the head as punishment.
“J-Jyuudaime!”
“Oh well,” Fon laments. “What did you come out here for, anyway?”
“More Yatsuhashi,” Gokudera admits, gesturing to the containers hidden under the bench. “Jyuudaime really wanted to try some.”
“Hn,” Reborn hns, and walks over to grab one of the two containers. “It does smell good.”
“Good quality,” Fon agrees, grabbing the second box and looking around at everyone still on the ground. “May I give my compliments to the cook?”
“Thank you,” says the vendor, sitting up now. “It’s a special family recipe.”
“It is delicious,” Fon assures him around a mouthful.
One of the assassins staggers up, stumbling on his feet. “O-oi, I know you.”
“No you don’t,” Reborn corrects, grabbing the Leon Ten Ton Hammer and knocking the assassin out again.
With all the assassins down and out, Tsuna-and the rest of the crowd-start standing up, cautiously, and recollecting their possessions from the downed assailants. The bystanders do make a point of staying away from the group around Tsuna, though.
“No more leisure time for a month,” Reborn tells Tsuna, “Besides, you’re behind on the paperwork that Kyuudaime has been sending you.”
“I’m seventeen,” Tsuna groans, “I’m not supposed to do paperwork besides homework yet!”
“Too bad,” Reborn refutes, and uses the Ten Ton Hammer on Tsuna this time. “Gokudera, good job protecting him.”
“Thank you, Reborn-san!” Gokudera is beaming again, and Tsuna swears he’ll never again give into that happy-go-lucky face.
Seeing the two Arcobaleno munching what they had suffered so much for (and his man!pride demanding this much at least), Tsuna turns to the vendor who has just re-entered his stall. “Um, sir, I don’t suppose we could buy any more Yatsuhashi off of you, could we?”
The man looks apologetic and shrugs. “Sorry, ma’am, but I sold the two of you the last ones before. You’ll have to wait until next year if you want some.”
Tsuna whimpers, holding his head. “Seriously?!”
“You won’t be able to get it then,” Fon comments thoughtfully. “I’m pretty sure Kyuudaime wants you in Italy by the end of your next school year.”
“It’s okay, Jyuudaime!” Gokudera cheers, “I can order you some!”
“The last time you did that I ended up in a coffin,” Tsuna cries, and tries to ignore the near-instantaneous screaming apologies that follow.
-
Ten years into a future that they no longer had to worry about, and the Decimo and his Right Hand are lounging in an office in Italy.
“You know, this really does smell good,” the Decimo compliments, rolling his shoulders to work out the tenseness he still feels even after recovering from muscle atrophy. “I can’t believe it took this long for me to get to try Yatsuhashi properly.”
“Well, apparently there was that one time,” the Right Hand states, gesturing vaguely east and the frown on his face an obvious indication of what he was thinking of.
Decimo frowns as well. “Eating Yatsuhashi in or beside a coffin does not a proper meal make. I said when we were younger that I wanted to eat it with you on a nice relaxing day, didn’t I?”
The Right Hand looks at him carefully. “You just finished a meeting with twenty other Dons, all of them reaming you out and threatening sanctions against us because you didn’t really tell anyone-“ And another glare here, “-about the dead-not-dead thing. Not that I’m not happy that you can handle that-not that I’ve ever thought you couldn’t!-but... even for me, that wasn’t really... relaxing, Tenth.”
“Maybe not, but it’s not like every other time we’ve tried to eat Yatsuhashi,” Decimo smiles, leaning in to grab his first piece.
“No?”
“Mm,” Decimo nods, “No one has tried to kill us toda-“
Alas, Decimo would later mourn while being bandaged up by the Vongola’s top doctors and medical professionals, all of the specially-ordered Yatsuhashi had been incinerated in the explosion. And as much as he had wanted to finally taste some, and as much as he wanted to go and order some more, there were other things to deal with, first.
“Damnit, you bastards! You know what you just did? You fucking blew up fucking Yatsuhashi, do you know how hard it is to order some proper fucking Yatsuhashi from Japan and get it delivered here while it’s still edible?! Tenth wanted to eat the fucking Yatsuhashi, so what are you going to fucking do about it, you...!”
...very loud other things to deal with, in fact.