[Fanfic][KHR!][33-centric] Because any piece EXTREME enough must have more than one title!
I actually had this completed on Tuesday, but (as always seems to be the case) I'm not satisfied with it. BUT I FIGURED I HAD TO GET SOMETHING UP FOR
ola_verde TO WISH HER EXTREME LUCK ON HER EXAM TOMORROW.
Ryohei and his EXTREME! skills
OR
Ten Requirements Sasagawa Ryohei Insists Upon for his Boxing Club
OR
Sasagawa Ryohei's Quest for Either Requirements or Members for the Namimori Boxing Club
(Because any piece EXTREME enough must have more than one title!)
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Characters/Pairings: Ryohei, Kyoko, Kurokawa Hana, Sawada Nana, Gokudera Hayato, random boxing club kohai; mentions of Tsuna, Reborn, Yamamoto, Haru; very, VERY vague hints of 5927 and 3327 (kind of. Sort of. If you read between the lines after tilting your head to the left, the lines upside down with a slight angle of 264 degrees and then rotate the lines counter-clockwise for five minutes while reading, clockwise for eighteen minutes while reading, and then throw the pages all over the room for the last two minutes of reading. Of course, by that point you'd probably have given up reading this in general and decided to go get a nice cup of tea. Or thrown a glass of brandy at a certain Shark's head. Whichever.)
Rating: K+ / T
Warnings: mentions of TYL (though nothing really spoilery), EXTREME SPAM OF EXTREME CAPSLOCK
Summary: Sasagawa Ryohei was a man on a mission. Now, if only he could remember what that mission actually was.
Being EXTREME. Living life to the fullest. Never holding back. Not... uh....
"I EXTREMELY FORGET THE REST OF THEM. BUT I AM SURE THEY WERE EXTREMELY EXTREME."
Some... other things, too.
"I EXTREMELY NEED TO MAKE THIS LIST. AGAIN. BUT if I make this EXTREME list about myself, I will EXTREMELY FORGET IT. I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE SO EXTREME THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT NOTICE THEIR EXTREMENESS."
And thus began a search.
...of sorts.
---
"THE STUDENTS IN THE BOXING CLUB MUST BE EXTREME IF I LET THEM IN. THERE SHOULD BE SOMEONE EXTREME ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS LIST ABOUT THERE."
(That the very reason he was attempting to make this list was to assess how good those in the boxing club were, as well as to set requirements for those wanting to enter the boxing club, was totally forgotten.)
"WHO IS EXTREME ENOUGH TO BE ON A LIST?!"
"........."
"I DON'T SEE ANY HANDS!"
"...sempai, are you alright?"
"YOU ARE EXTREMELY CARING. ARE YOU EXTREME IN OTHER WAYS TOO?"
"....er....."
"YOU ARE EXTREMELY HESITATING. THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT TYPE OF EXTREME! NEXT!"
(And that the members of the boxing club had no idea what was going on didn't help his quest much, either.)
---
"THAT KID IS VERY EXTREME TO TAKE ON HIS SEMPAI LIKE THAT. I LIKE HOW EXTREME HE IS."
"Ah, onii-chan, I think that Tsuna-kun wouldn't really want to--"
"YOU EXTREMELY KNOW HIM, KYOKO?!"
"He's my classmate, onii-chan--"
"YOU MUST HAVE AN EXTREME CLASS. I WILL COME VISIT YOU TOMORROW!"
"O-onii-chan, no one is really 'extreme' in-class."
"THAT IS NOT GOOD. EVEN THAT KID?"
"Even Tsuna-kun, yes."
"THEN HE IS NOT EXTREME ENOUGH."
(And so the quest for the Holy Grail a person EXTREME enough to be part of the boxing club continued.)
(...but wasn't it originally for someone to use as a reference of extreme-ness?)
---
"KYOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Onii-chan?"
"I HAVE DISCOVERED A VERY EXTREME PERSON."
"...oh? Um, who, onii-chan!"
"He is in your very extreme class! His name is Sawada!"
"Onii-chan, we've already had this conversation. Tsuna-kun probably--"
"HE IS SO EXTREME THAT NO ONE ELSE NOTICES HE IS EXTREME. WHICH MAKES THIS AN EXTREMELY GOOD TIME FOR ME AND THE BOXING CLUB!"
"Onii-chan?"
"HE WAS AT THE EXTREME CENTRE OF ALL THOSE EXTREME EXPLOSIONS THE LAST COUPLE DAYS, AND HE EXTREMELY SAVED ANOTHER GUY'S LIFE BY JUMPING OFF A ROOF."
"Onii-chan--"
"THAT WAS SO EXTREME THAT NO ONE ELSE BELIEVED IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I MUST HAVE THIS EXTREME PERSON FOR THE BOXING CLUB!"
"Onii-chan, I think that Tsuna-kun is happy not, um... being obviously extreme. Maybe you should let him join the boxing club by himself?"
"..."
"...onii-chan?"
"THAT IS AN EXTREMELY GOOD IDEA, KYOKO! I WILL MAKE THE BOXING CLUB SO EXTREME THAT IF HE IS REALLY EXTREME HE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO JOIN IT!"
"Good luck, onii-chan!"
(And once again, the original purpose behind finding someone 'extreme' was forgotten. But by this point, that was sort of to be expected.)
---
"KYOKOOOOOO! HAS SAWADA EXTREMELY SAID ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT JOINING THE BOXING CLUB?!"
"Um, no, onii-chan. I think after you challenged him to the boxing match a couple weeks ago he wanted some time to think about it?"
"THAT IS AN EXTREMELY GOOD IDEA. BUT I AM SURE HE IS DOING EXTREME THINGS IN THE MEANWHILE."
"Well, probably, onii-chan. It is very lively over at Tsuna-kun's house."
"THEN I NEED TO EXTREMELY GO VISIT."
"Onii-chan, maybe you should--"
"WHEN ARE YOU GOING OVER THERE NEXT?"
"Well, I'm not sure--"
"THEN I WILL HAVE TO EXTREMELY FIND IT FOR MYSELF!
"Onii-chan--!"
(Although this took much long than otherwise planned, since Ryohei could never quite remember which parts of the city he had wandered through the day before, or the day before that, or the day before that....)
---
"THIS HOUSE IS EXTREMELY ORDINARY. AND SO THIS IS ONE. AND THIS ONE. AND THIS ONE. ...I THINK THIS IS A NOT-EXTREME NEIGHBOURHOOD."
"Oh my! Are you looking for another neighbourhood?"
"I AM EXTREMELY LOOKING FOR ANYWHERE EXTREME PEOPLE ARE."
"Really? Where have you looked so far?"
"I HAVE LOOKED... well... I HAVE LOOKED IN AN EXTREMELY LARGE AREA."
"And you haven't found anyone yet? Oh, that's sad. Maybe you would have better luck finding extreme people by actually talking to people?"
"EVERY TIME I EXTREMELY TRY TO TALK TO PEOPLE THEY EXTREMELY RUN AWAY. IT IS EASIER TO LOOK FOR EXTREME PEOPLE JUST BY LOOKING, MA'AM."
"Oh. Well, I'm sure you're tired from all your looking."
"AN EXTREME MAN NEVER GETS TIRED!"
"Oh, you sounded just like my husband there! He's always going on about what a real man should be like.... Ooooh, I miss papan so much."
"IS HE EXTREMELY FAR AWAY?"
"He might be! Papan doesn't let me know where he is because he likes to be romantic and mysterious~! And our son, Tsu-kun, doesn't even know papan is still alive because that just adds to the mystery!"
"HE SOUNDS LIKE AN EXTREME PERSON. IS YOUR SON AS EXTREME?"
"Well... he doesn't really do well in school, and he used to always go through never caring about anything (even when I told him to try and face the world saying, "It's great to be alive!"), but he's gotten a lot better now! He has no many friends and there's so many people in the house now. There's really nothing better than having a lot of people around to care for!"
"YOU ARE AN EXTREME MOTHER. YOU SHOULD BE A ROLEMODEL FOR ALL MOTHERS!"
"Oh, you think so? Thank you! For that, you can come back to the house and join us for dinner, if you'd like! Tsu-kun is out with Reborn-chan training tonight, so you won't be able to meet them, but the others are all around!"
"YOU ARE EXTREMELY KIND. THANK YOU MA'AM!"
"Oh, just call me maman."
"I AM EXTREMELY SASAGAWA RYOHEI, MAMAN."
"That really is an extreme name! I bet my Tsu-kun could learn so much from you."
"I'M SURE THAT WITH SUCH EXTREME PARENTS, HE IS ALREADY EXTREMELY EXTREME."
(And that was how Ryohei unknowingly ingratiated himself to Sawada Nana while screaming his lungs out and dripping buckets of sweat. But Nana had never particularly cared about such minor things.)
---
"KYOKOOOOOOOOO."
"Onii-chan?"
"Ah, the loud one is here."
"KUROKAWA IS HERE TOO? THAT IS EXTREMELY GOOD TIMING."
"Why, onii-chan?"
"I HAVE EXTREMELY FOUND OUT WHERE SAWADA LIVES, AND HE IS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN I THOUGHT."
"But you saw where Tsuna-kun lives at the New Years fes--"
"How is Sawada, of all people, extreme?"
"BECAUSE HE EXTREMELY RUNS THROUGH THE STREET."
"So do you, idi--"
"WHILE NAKED AND ON FIRE. THAT IS BEYOND EXTREME."
"........"
"Well, we knew about the 'naked' thing beforehand, but... on fire?"
"HE IS JUST THAT EXTREME."
"It might have been Lambo-kun or Gokudera-kun setting off fireworks again, onii-chan. They do that a lot around Tsuna-kun."
"I know about the one with attitude, but... 'Lambo-kun'?"
"Un! He's a little boy who is staying with Tsuna-kun! The one who wears the cowprint with the big black hair!"
"The little cow brat?! HE'S NOT CUTE AT ALL."
"I EXTREMELY DO NOT CARE ABOUT CUTENESS, KUROKAWA. SAWADA IS EXTREME ENOUGH FOR MY BOXING CLUB. I'M GOING TO GO TO SAWADA'S EXTREME HOUSE NOW AND SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW ELSE HE IS EXTREME."
"Okay, onii-chan! Have fun!"
"JA!"
"...Kyoko, is your brother going to stalk Sawada?"
"I don't think he's stalking Tsuna-kun, Hana-chan."
(Oh, but he was. He really, really was.)
---
"SAWADA HAS EXTREME UNDERWEAR!"
"O-onii-chan?"
"...I don't want to know how you figured that out, idiot."
"YOU NEED TO LEARN TO APPRECIATE A MAN'S EXTREME UNDERWEAR, KUROKAWA."
(Considering what it sounded like, Ryohei really did deserve the black eye.)
---
"KYOKO. I EXTREMELY JUST HEARD! IS SAWADA ALRIGHT?"
"He's going to be just fine, onii-chan, but--"
"THEN HE IS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN I THOUGHT. ONLY EXTREMELY EXTREME PEOPLE COULD SURVIVE HAVING A MOUNTAIN FALL ON THEM."
(In Ryohei's defense, at least he hadn't heard Gokudera's version of Reborn's Training Mission in the mountain with Dino Cavallone and Enzio and gone off about mountain gods smiting people instead.)
---
"KYOKO! IS YOUR FRIEND EXTREMELY ALRIGHT?"
"Um... which friend, onii-chan?"
"THE ONE WHO WAS WITH SAWADA WHEN HE WAS EXTREMELY RUN OVER BY THE TRUCK."
"Tsuna-kun was run over by--?!"
"I EXTREMELY JUST SAW HIM AND HE IS ALRIGHT."
"Onii-chan--!"
"I EXTREMELY DOUBT EVEN GOD COULD KEEP HIM FROM BEING EXTREME!"
(Actually, Ryohei very much would have liked to see God attempting to keep peolple from "being extreme". After all, there's no challenge more difficult than facing off against God, right? ...except maybe bears.)
---
"SAWADA IS THE MOST EXTREME PERSON I KNOW."
"OF COURSE, LAWNHEAD, JYUUDAIME IS THE GREATEST BOSS IN THE HISTORY OF VONGOLA."
"SAWADA IS RELATED TO MONGOLIA?"*
"VONGOLA, YOU DUMBASS, VON-GO-LA. And yes, he's going to be the Tenth Head of the Family. The best Head, since Primo."
"THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER EXTREME PEOPLE IN MONGOLIA?"
"IT'S VONGOLA, LAWNHEAD! HOW MANY TIMES DO I--"
"CAN ALL OF THEM EXTREMELY FLY?"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"YOU SAW SAWADA AND THE GUNDAM LAST NIGHT AT THE CLOUDY FIGHT!"
"IT WAS THE CLOUD BATTLE OF THE RING CONFLICT, YOU--"
"WELL?"
"WELL WHAT?"
"CAN THEY FLY?"
"...I thin Primo might have been able to, but I'm not sure about Secondo through to Nono. And even if Nono could fly, he's getting on in age--it probably wouldn't be safe for him anymore."
"THEN SAWADA IS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN HIS ANCESTORS, OCTOPUS-HEAD!"
"OF COURSE HE IS, IDIOT!"
(The Sun and Storm? Agreeing with each other? Never.)
(At least never in conversation between the two has come up the topic of a certain Sky's underwear. Or his daily schedule. Or his habits. Or his clothing. Or his shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Or--)
---
"KYOKO. I HAVE EXTREMELY DECIDED SOMETHING."
"Ah, onii-chan, hold still! I'm not done bandaging your arm--"
"THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE EXTREME FIGHTS BACK IN THE FUTURE, KYOKO."
"Even so, it could still get infected--"
"AN EXTREME MAN HAS TO WITHSTAND LOTS OF PAIN."
"Men, extreme men, mafia men or Vongola men or not, still need to stop bleeding, so please hold still onii-chan?"
"ALRIGHT, KYOKO."
"Now, what have you decided?"
"I EXTREMELY DECIDED SOMETHING?"
"Onii-chan, you just said you did!"
"I DID? AH! I FORGOT! BUT I THINK I EXTREMELY WROTE IT DOWN! ...HERE! IT SAYS... OH! RIGHT!"
"Well, onii-chan?"
"I EXTREMELY DECIDED THAT THE BOXING CLUB IS EXTREME."
"Onii-chan--"
"BUT THAT SAWADA'S CLUB OF EXTREME PEOPLE IS EVEN MORE EXTREME!"
"Oh, onii-chan--"
"AND I AM GOING TO STICK WITH THIS GROUP OF EXTREME MONGOLIANS!"
"...okay! And Haru-chan and I will support all of you!"
"THAT IS EXTREMELY AWESOME, KYOKO! AND THAT WAY WE CAN BE EXTREMELY MYSTERIOUS TOO!"
(And so the quest for the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything else for someone extreme enough to join the boxing club came to an end. On the other hand, the quest for a kangaroo that was EXTREME enough to box with until Ryohei could get Kangaryu back had only just begun.)
---
*The 'Mongolia' gag is totally ripped off from
vicious_lullaby , and I give her full credit. (See: [ this piece] and [ this one].)
ola_verde TO WISH HER EXTREME LUCK ON HER EXAM TOMORROW.
Ryohei and his EXTREME! skills
OR
Ten Requirements Sasagawa Ryohei Insists Upon for his Boxing Club
OR
Sasagawa Ryohei's Quest for Either Requirements or Members for the Namimori Boxing Club
(Because any piece EXTREME enough must have more than one title!)
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Characters/Pairings: Ryohei, Kyoko, Kurokawa Hana, Sawada Nana, Gokudera Hayato, random boxing club kohai; mentions of Tsuna, Reborn, Yamamoto, Haru; very, VERY vague hints of 5927 and 3327 (kind of. Sort of. If you read between the lines after tilting your head to the left, the lines upside down with a slight angle of 264 degrees and then rotate the lines counter-clockwise for five minutes while reading, clockwise for eighteen minutes while reading, and then throw the pages all over the room for the last two minutes of reading. Of course, by that point you'd probably have given up reading this in general and decided to go get a nice cup of tea. Or thrown a glass of brandy at a certain Shark's head. Whichever.)
Rating: K+ / T
Warnings: mentions of TYL (though nothing really spoilery), EXTREME SPAM OF EXTREME CAPSLOCK
Summary: Sasagawa Ryohei was a man on a mission. Now, if only he could remember what that mission actually was.
Being EXTREME. Living life to the fullest. Never holding back. Not... uh....
"I EXTREMELY FORGET THE REST OF THEM. BUT I AM SURE THEY WERE EXTREMELY EXTREME."
Some... other things, too.
"I EXTREMELY NEED TO MAKE THIS LIST. AGAIN. BUT if I make this EXTREME list about myself, I will EXTREMELY FORGET IT. I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE SO EXTREME THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT NOTICE THEIR EXTREMENESS."
And thus began a search.
...of sorts.
---
"THE STUDENTS IN THE BOXING CLUB MUST BE EXTREME IF I LET THEM IN. THERE SHOULD BE SOMEONE EXTREME ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS LIST ABOUT THERE."
(That the very reason he was attempting to make this list was to assess how good those in the boxing club were, as well as to set requirements for those wanting to enter the boxing club, was totally forgotten.)
"WHO IS EXTREME ENOUGH TO BE ON A LIST?!"
"........."
"I DON'T SEE ANY HANDS!"
"...sempai, are you alright?"
"YOU ARE EXTREMELY CARING. ARE YOU EXTREME IN OTHER WAYS TOO?"
"....er....."
"YOU ARE EXTREMELY HESITATING. THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT TYPE OF EXTREME! NEXT!"
(And that the members of the boxing club had no idea what was going on didn't help his quest much, either.)
---
"THAT KID IS VERY EXTREME TO TAKE ON HIS SEMPAI LIKE THAT. I LIKE HOW EXTREME HE IS."
"Ah, onii-chan, I think that Tsuna-kun wouldn't really want to--"
"YOU EXTREMELY KNOW HIM, KYOKO?!"
"He's my classmate, onii-chan--"
"YOU MUST HAVE AN EXTREME CLASS. I WILL COME VISIT YOU TOMORROW!"
"O-onii-chan, no one is really 'extreme' in-class."
"THAT IS NOT GOOD. EVEN THAT KID?"
"Even Tsuna-kun, yes."
"THEN HE IS NOT EXTREME ENOUGH."
(And so the quest for the Holy Grail a person EXTREME enough to be part of the boxing club continued.)
(...but wasn't it originally for someone to use as a reference of extreme-ness?)
---
"KYOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Onii-chan?"
"I HAVE DISCOVERED A VERY EXTREME PERSON."
"...oh? Um, who, onii-chan!"
"He is in your very extreme class! His name is Sawada!"
"Onii-chan, we've already had this conversation. Tsuna-kun probably--"
"HE IS SO EXTREME THAT NO ONE ELSE NOTICES HE IS EXTREME. WHICH MAKES THIS AN EXTREMELY GOOD TIME FOR ME AND THE BOXING CLUB!"
"Onii-chan?"
"HE WAS AT THE EXTREME CENTRE OF ALL THOSE EXTREME EXPLOSIONS THE LAST COUPLE DAYS, AND HE EXTREMELY SAVED ANOTHER GUY'S LIFE BY JUMPING OFF A ROOF."
"Onii-chan--"
"THAT WAS SO EXTREME THAT NO ONE ELSE BELIEVED IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I MUST HAVE THIS EXTREME PERSON FOR THE BOXING CLUB!"
"Onii-chan, I think that Tsuna-kun is happy not, um... being obviously extreme. Maybe you should let him join the boxing club by himself?"
"..."
"...onii-chan?"
"THAT IS AN EXTREMELY GOOD IDEA, KYOKO! I WILL MAKE THE BOXING CLUB SO EXTREME THAT IF HE IS REALLY EXTREME HE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO JOIN IT!"
"Good luck, onii-chan!"
(And once again, the original purpose behind finding someone 'extreme' was forgotten. But by this point, that was sort of to be expected.)
---
"KYOKOOOOOO! HAS SAWADA EXTREMELY SAID ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT JOINING THE BOXING CLUB?!"
"Um, no, onii-chan. I think after you challenged him to the boxing match a couple weeks ago he wanted some time to think about it?"
"THAT IS AN EXTREMELY GOOD IDEA. BUT I AM SURE HE IS DOING EXTREME THINGS IN THE MEANWHILE."
"Well, probably, onii-chan. It is very lively over at Tsuna-kun's house."
"THEN I NEED TO EXTREMELY GO VISIT."
"Onii-chan, maybe you should--"
"WHEN ARE YOU GOING OVER THERE NEXT?"
"Well, I'm not sure--"
"THEN I WILL HAVE TO EXTREMELY FIND IT FOR MYSELF!
"Onii-chan--!"
(Although this took much long than otherwise planned, since Ryohei could never quite remember which parts of the city he had wandered through the day before, or the day before that, or the day before that....)
---
"THIS HOUSE IS EXTREMELY ORDINARY. AND SO THIS IS ONE. AND THIS ONE. AND THIS ONE. ...I THINK THIS IS A NOT-EXTREME NEIGHBOURHOOD."
"Oh my! Are you looking for another neighbourhood?"
"I AM EXTREMELY LOOKING FOR ANYWHERE EXTREME PEOPLE ARE."
"Really? Where have you looked so far?"
"I HAVE LOOKED... well... I HAVE LOOKED IN AN EXTREMELY LARGE AREA."
"And you haven't found anyone yet? Oh, that's sad. Maybe you would have better luck finding extreme people by actually talking to people?"
"EVERY TIME I EXTREMELY TRY TO TALK TO PEOPLE THEY EXTREMELY RUN AWAY. IT IS EASIER TO LOOK FOR EXTREME PEOPLE JUST BY LOOKING, MA'AM."
"Oh. Well, I'm sure you're tired from all your looking."
"AN EXTREME MAN NEVER GETS TIRED!"
"Oh, you sounded just like my husband there! He's always going on about what a real man should be like.... Ooooh, I miss papan so much."
"IS HE EXTREMELY FAR AWAY?"
"He might be! Papan doesn't let me know where he is because he likes to be romantic and mysterious~! And our son, Tsu-kun, doesn't even know papan is still alive because that just adds to the mystery!"
"HE SOUNDS LIKE AN EXTREME PERSON. IS YOUR SON AS EXTREME?"
"Well... he doesn't really do well in school, and he used to always go through never caring about anything (even when I told him to try and face the world saying, "It's great to be alive!"), but he's gotten a lot better now! He has no many friends and there's so many people in the house now. There's really nothing better than having a lot of people around to care for!"
"YOU ARE AN EXTREME MOTHER. YOU SHOULD BE A ROLEMODEL FOR ALL MOTHERS!"
"Oh, you think so? Thank you! For that, you can come back to the house and join us for dinner, if you'd like! Tsu-kun is out with Reborn-chan training tonight, so you won't be able to meet them, but the others are all around!"
"YOU ARE EXTREMELY KIND. THANK YOU MA'AM!"
"Oh, just call me maman."
"I AM EXTREMELY SASAGAWA RYOHEI, MAMAN."
"That really is an extreme name! I bet my Tsu-kun could learn so much from you."
"I'M SURE THAT WITH SUCH EXTREME PARENTS, HE IS ALREADY EXTREMELY EXTREME."
(And that was how Ryohei unknowingly ingratiated himself to Sawada Nana while screaming his lungs out and dripping buckets of sweat. But Nana had never particularly cared about such minor things.)
---
"KYOKOOOOOOOOO."
"Onii-chan?"
"Ah, the loud one is here."
"KUROKAWA IS HERE TOO? THAT IS EXTREMELY GOOD TIMING."
"Why, onii-chan?"
"I HAVE EXTREMELY FOUND OUT WHERE SAWADA LIVES, AND HE IS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN I THOUGHT."
"But you saw where Tsuna-kun lives at the New Years fes--"
"How is Sawada, of all people, extreme?"
"BECAUSE HE EXTREMELY RUNS THROUGH THE STREET."
"So do you, idi--"
"WHILE NAKED AND ON FIRE. THAT IS BEYOND EXTREME."
"........"
"Well, we knew about the 'naked' thing beforehand, but... on fire?"
"HE IS JUST THAT EXTREME."
"It might have been Lambo-kun or Gokudera-kun setting off fireworks again, onii-chan. They do that a lot around Tsuna-kun."
"I know about the one with attitude, but... 'Lambo-kun'?"
"Un! He's a little boy who is staying with Tsuna-kun! The one who wears the cowprint with the big black hair!"
"The little cow brat?! HE'S NOT CUTE AT ALL."
"I EXTREMELY DO NOT CARE ABOUT CUTENESS, KUROKAWA. SAWADA IS EXTREME ENOUGH FOR MY BOXING CLUB. I'M GOING TO GO TO SAWADA'S EXTREME HOUSE NOW AND SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT HOW ELSE HE IS EXTREME."
"Okay, onii-chan! Have fun!"
"JA!"
"...Kyoko, is your brother going to stalk Sawada?"
"I don't think he's stalking Tsuna-kun, Hana-chan."
(Oh, but he was. He really, really was.)
---
"SAWADA HAS EXTREME UNDERWEAR!"
"O-onii-chan?"
"...I don't want to know how you figured that out, idiot."
"YOU NEED TO LEARN TO APPRECIATE A MAN'S EXTREME UNDERWEAR, KUROKAWA."
(Considering what it sounded like, Ryohei really did deserve the black eye.)
---
"KYOKO. I EXTREMELY JUST HEARD! IS SAWADA ALRIGHT?"
"He's going to be just fine, onii-chan, but--"
"THEN HE IS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN I THOUGHT. ONLY EXTREMELY EXTREME PEOPLE COULD SURVIVE HAVING A MOUNTAIN FALL ON THEM."
(In Ryohei's defense, at least he hadn't heard Gokudera's version of Reborn's Training Mission in the mountain with Dino Cavallone and Enzio and gone off about mountain gods smiting people instead.)
---
"KYOKO! IS YOUR FRIEND EXTREMELY ALRIGHT?"
"Um... which friend, onii-chan?"
"THE ONE WHO WAS WITH SAWADA WHEN HE WAS EXTREMELY RUN OVER BY THE TRUCK."
"Tsuna-kun was run over by--?!"
"I EXTREMELY JUST SAW HIM AND HE IS ALRIGHT."
"Onii-chan--!"
"I EXTREMELY DOUBT EVEN GOD COULD KEEP HIM FROM BEING EXTREME!"
(Actually, Ryohei very much would have liked to see God attempting to keep peolple from "being extreme". After all, there's no challenge more difficult than facing off against God, right? ...except maybe bears.)
---
"SAWADA IS THE MOST EXTREME PERSON I KNOW."
"OF COURSE, LAWNHEAD, JYUUDAIME IS THE GREATEST BOSS IN THE HISTORY OF VONGOLA."
"SAWADA IS RELATED TO MONGOLIA?"*
"VONGOLA, YOU DUMBASS, VON-GO-LA. And yes, he's going to be the Tenth Head of the Family. The best Head, since Primo."
"THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER EXTREME PEOPLE IN MONGOLIA?"
"IT'S VONGOLA, LAWNHEAD! HOW MANY TIMES DO I--"
"CAN ALL OF THEM EXTREMELY FLY?"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"YOU SAW SAWADA AND THE GUNDAM LAST NIGHT AT THE CLOUDY FIGHT!"
"IT WAS THE CLOUD BATTLE OF THE RING CONFLICT, YOU--"
"WELL?"
"WELL WHAT?"
"CAN THEY FLY?"
"...I thin Primo might have been able to, but I'm not sure about Secondo through to Nono. And even if Nono could fly, he's getting on in age--it probably wouldn't be safe for him anymore."
"THEN SAWADA IS EVEN MORE EXTREME THAN HIS ANCESTORS, OCTOPUS-HEAD!"
"OF COURSE HE IS, IDIOT!"
(The Sun and Storm? Agreeing with each other? Never.)
(At least never in conversation between the two has come up the topic of a certain Sky's underwear. Or his daily schedule. Or his habits. Or his clothing. Or his shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Or--)
---
"KYOKO. I HAVE EXTREMELY DECIDED SOMETHING."
"Ah, onii-chan, hold still! I'm not done bandaging your arm--"
"THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE EXTREME FIGHTS BACK IN THE FUTURE, KYOKO."
"Even so, it could still get infected--"
"AN EXTREME MAN HAS TO WITHSTAND LOTS OF PAIN."
"Men, extreme men, mafia men or Vongola men or not, still need to stop bleeding, so please hold still onii-chan?"
"ALRIGHT, KYOKO."
"Now, what have you decided?"
"I EXTREMELY DECIDED SOMETHING?"
"Onii-chan, you just said you did!"
"I DID? AH! I FORGOT! BUT I THINK I EXTREMELY WROTE IT DOWN! ...HERE! IT SAYS... OH! RIGHT!"
"Well, onii-chan?"
"I EXTREMELY DECIDED THAT THE BOXING CLUB IS EXTREME."
"Onii-chan--"
"BUT THAT SAWADA'S CLUB OF EXTREME PEOPLE IS EVEN MORE EXTREME!"
"Oh, onii-chan--"
"AND I AM GOING TO STICK WITH THIS GROUP OF EXTREME MONGOLIANS!"
"...okay! And Haru-chan and I will support all of you!"
"THAT IS EXTREMELY AWESOME, KYOKO! AND THAT WAY WE CAN BE EXTREMELY MYSTERIOUS TOO!"
(And so the quest for the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything else for someone extreme enough to join the boxing club came to an end. On the other hand, the quest for a kangaroo that was EXTREME enough to box with until Ryohei could get Kangaryu back had only just begun.)
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*The 'Mongolia' gag is totally ripped off from
vicious_lullaby , and I give her full credit. (See: [ this piece] and [ this one].)