Nilmandra posted this on her 40th birthday in 2005:
Thank you to all who have sent me good wishes on my birthday today. My friends and family in real life have had great fun in proclaiming me officially Over The Hill, as this is the big 40. The age doesn't bother me, though, and I will proudly claim each birthday that comes along. I wouldn't go back in time, most certainly, and what lies ahead is the next adventure.
We are the Atani, destined to live only for a short while on this Earth and then pass beyond the circles of the world to things that are beyond our imagination, a Gift to us, one that goes along with the 'strange powers' we have been given. Yet accepting that Gift at its properly appointed time is important, too. I may be only 40, but Death has nearly come on too many occasions for me to not realize that Life is also a Gift to be cherished, not hoarded but spent fully. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 says to Choose Life. Choosing Life means more than just choosing to remain breathing, it means choosing to embrace life and live it fully. For some that may mean conquering Everest; for others of us it means accepting any limitations placed on us but living fully within them. One of my favorite bible verses is from Paul's letter to the Phillipians: 'To live is Christ and to die is gain.' This is what Tolkien was saying in allegory - Death is a gift. I will accept it as Freedom from dashed hopes, unfulfilled dreams and a body that seemed to be nearing 90 when I knew I had only been here for a little more than 30 years, and move into the firmaments of heaven, beyond the circles of this world, where we, unlike the elves, do have some idea of what awaits.
We can look on life and play the 'I wish I had... or I hoped I might..' game, but the past cannot be changed. So I'm 40. I'm looking forward to a new decade, a new chapter in life, and one that I intend to embrace and live.
Wish I could pass out some chocolate cake out to everyone of you. I think Dot might be making more.
This is the amazing Nilmandra that I knew. It's the woman that made me so happy to see LJ updates, and made me admire her outlook, despite the war she fought with her physical decline. Don't know what else to say. Thank you for posting this.
Thank you to all who have sent me good wishes on my birthday today. My friends and family in real life have had great fun in proclaiming me officially Over The Hill, as this is the big 40. The age doesn't bother me, though, and I will proudly claim each birthday that comes along. I wouldn't go back in time, most certainly, and what lies ahead is the next adventure.
We are the Atani, destined to live only for a short while on this Earth and then pass beyond the circles of the world to things that are beyond our imagination, a Gift to us, one that goes along with the 'strange powers' we have been given. Yet accepting that Gift at its properly appointed time is important, too. I may be only 40, but Death has nearly come on too many occasions for me to not realize that Life is also a Gift to be cherished, not hoarded but spent fully. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 says to Choose Life. Choosing Life means more than just choosing to remain breathing, it means choosing to embrace life and live it fully. For some that may mean conquering Everest; for others of us it means accepting any limitations placed on us but living fully within them. One of my favorite bible verses is from Paul's letter to the Phillipians: 'To live is Christ and to die is gain.' This is what Tolkien was saying in allegory - Death is a gift. I will accept it as Freedom from dashed hopes, unfulfilled dreams and a body that seemed to be nearing 90 when I knew I had only been here for a little more than 30 years, and move into the firmaments of heaven, beyond the circles of this world, where we, unlike the elves, do have some idea of what awaits.
We can look on life and play the 'I wish I had... or I hoped I might..' game, but the past cannot be changed. So I'm 40. I'm looking forward to a new decade, a new chapter in life, and one that I intend to embrace and live.
Wish I could pass out some chocolate cake out to everyone of you. I think Dot might be making more.
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