And what did I say?

[mechani_doll]

Tomorrow I won't mean it, I believe?
I don't.
Now I hate him, or think I do. There's just something awfully familiar about this cycle.
Could it be the same one that I always end up going through?
DING FUCKING DING DING!
What the hell am I doing? Why am I even bothering? Tell me this again, because I forget.
I know that there was obviously some kind of half arsed reason I got back on this fucking horse..but it's gone away now.
I don't have a job and I don't want to do anything except play my music.
I don't have any desire to do anything with my life.
I don't have anyone special near me to make things seem okay. She's in Tasmania.
I can't make anyone like me, I tried and it all just went to crud.
I can't make my stupid brain be normal and I can't make myself ignore this shit like I always try.
What can I do, you ask?
I can fail and do it so well.
I can pretend that I'm happy for everyone who has what they want; when I'm so insanely jealous that I don't talk to most of them anymore.
I can sit here and whinge.
I can also be really miserable.

Fuck you.