(no subject)
Package arrived today, covered in bootprints, giants cracks running through the neck. Took two weeks to arrive instead of two days, and will now probably take three weeks to send back and another four weeks for the replacement to arrive.
I am going to fuck you until you die, UPS. I am going to fuck you with my two foot long fanged penis until I come bile and acid inside your lying mouth, UPS. I am going down to the UPS offices and talk to the clerk calmly, and fill out the appropriate paperwork, and once it's finished I am going to calmly take a steaming, bloody shit right on the floor and stab myself in the neck with a pen, screaming 'LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME UPS! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING ME'
I am going to fuck you until you die, UPS. I am going to fuck you with my two foot long fanged penis until I come bile and acid inside your lying mouth, UPS. I am going down to the UPS offices and talk to the clerk calmly, and fill out the appropriate paperwork, and once it's finished I am going to calmly take a steaming, bloody shit right on the floor and stab myself in the neck with a pen, screaming 'LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME UPS! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING ME'