(no subject)
I'm starting to get tired of my art class. Drawing and painting... yeah, that's fun and all, but not all the time. I'm beginning to think animation isn't the greatest major to be in right now. I want to focus more on Japanese because I have to put so little effort into studying and keeping up with things, but does that just mean I'm too lazy to take the artist's path? I'm not sure which path I should take.
I feel if I discontinue my animation major thing, my brother will feel like I'm not doing what I want in life. But what I want is for things to be easy in my life. If I had to cross a lake that was filled with my life, I would run on top of the water in one go, instead of swimming across or spending the time finding a boat.
I know life isn't easy, but that's what I want. Stress is annoying and generally bad for me. I can't tell if I'm being whiny or not about taking the easiest path by switching my major to Japanese.
Or maybe being an artist isn't my thing. I don't have the concentration to finish a single drawing. If I do, it turns to shit. The only real motivation was this little rivalry I created in my mind with Jade or Shirley. Matt and Chantelle were my aspirations. But now my rivals are at a point that I can't reach them. I don't feel like I have gotten any better from all these years. Cool, my stuff looks a little bit better, but that's only because my brain developed better skills in holding a pencil and observing things. Just common eye and dexterity developments that everyone gets as they grow up. Everything is still drawn in the same position. The face is a little to the left. Same hair. Same smudged and erased lines of where the eyes/mouth/nose should go. Feh.
I kind of hate it when people say my drawings are a unique in a way that I scribble and sketch out things so that there are multiple lines in one spot and a few in others. I only do that because I'm too fucking lazy to draw clean lines. Laziness shouldn't be praised. Feh. FEEEEEH.
So that brings it back to this - changing my major to Japanese is the cause of me being too lazy to draw/paint/photoshop and keeping my major at animation would be the path of hard-work, blood, sweat, and tears.
But in the end, who would I be praised by if I got my degree in animation? It's not like the pay is so great that people will respect me. Hearing, "Oh, your major was animation?" makes me think they're saying, "You went to a shitty art school to learn animation? I guess that's cool."
I feel as if I'm doing this in order to get more praise from my brother. I think he thinks that I really like art. Hell, I just like anime and manga. Art is a side interest.
Feh. Maybe I'm just complaining about this now because I have an art project due later today. It's also four-fucking-ten-a.m.
I hate procrastination.
I feel if I discontinue my animation major thing, my brother will feel like I'm not doing what I want in life. But what I want is for things to be easy in my life. If I had to cross a lake that was filled with my life, I would run on top of the water in one go, instead of swimming across or spending the time finding a boat.
I know life isn't easy, but that's what I want. Stress is annoying and generally bad for me. I can't tell if I'm being whiny or not about taking the easiest path by switching my major to Japanese.
Or maybe being an artist isn't my thing. I don't have the concentration to finish a single drawing. If I do, it turns to shit. The only real motivation was this little rivalry I created in my mind with Jade or Shirley. Matt and Chantelle were my aspirations. But now my rivals are at a point that I can't reach them. I don't feel like I have gotten any better from all these years. Cool, my stuff looks a little bit better, but that's only because my brain developed better skills in holding a pencil and observing things. Just common eye and dexterity developments that everyone gets as they grow up. Everything is still drawn in the same position. The face is a little to the left. Same hair. Same smudged and erased lines of where the eyes/mouth/nose should go. Feh.
I kind of hate it when people say my drawings are a unique in a way that I scribble and sketch out things so that there are multiple lines in one spot and a few in others. I only do that because I'm too fucking lazy to draw clean lines. Laziness shouldn't be praised. Feh. FEEEEEH.
So that brings it back to this - changing my major to Japanese is the cause of me being too lazy to draw/paint/photoshop and keeping my major at animation would be the path of hard-work, blood, sweat, and tears.
But in the end, who would I be praised by if I got my degree in animation? It's not like the pay is so great that people will respect me. Hearing, "Oh, your major was animation?" makes me think they're saying, "You went to a shitty art school to learn animation? I guess that's cool."
I feel as if I'm doing this in order to get more praise from my brother. I think he thinks that I really like art. Hell, I just like anime and manga. Art is a side interest.
Feh. Maybe I'm just complaining about this now because I have an art project due later today. It's also four-fucking-ten-a.m.
I hate procrastination.