Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. fic: Loyalties (2/5)
Her breath was coming in rough gasps, and her moans were almost embarrassingly loud. She’d never been happier the walls to the bunks were soundproof.
“Mack,” she managed to say, tightening her fingers in his curls as he redoubled his efforts, burying his face between her thighs and doing things with his tongue that were probably illegal or should be. “Oh… God.”
She could feel him chuckle soundlessly, his breath hitting against her sensitive skin, at her revealing how much he affected her. Damn him. She tightened her legs around his shoulders and dug her fingers in, pulling him closer, forcing him to do something useful with that mouth for once.
He had shown up in her bunk rather unexpectedly as she was getting ready for bed. It was the first time she had ever seen him outside the lab, and several days since he had blinked out of sight after Ward entered. But before she could even begin to formulate a question, she had noticed the intensity of his stare and the fact that she was almost completely naked.
Then he had moved, pulling her to him with arms that were entirely too corporeal, covering her mouth with his own and stealing her breath. She couldn’t bring herself to care that he was most likely some kind of symptom of a yet undiagnosed mental illness. They had been building up to this for far too long.
Without warning, he brought his fingers up, rubbing small circles against her clit, varying the pressure, mixing it up with his tongue and his lips. He pressed into her ever so slightly and Jemma felt like she burst into little particles, bits of energy just drifting away. Mack pulled away, mouthing her skin as he worked his way back up to her, kissing her again and lining himself up, not giving her anytime to recover before he entered her and -
Jemma woke up with a gasp.
Her bunk was empty, quiet, so dark she couldn’t see anything. She was on her stomach, one arm awkwardly underneath her and the hand between her legs. She was throbbing with desire, her body on fire and the tips of her fingers damp with her arousal.
Her fantasy life was getting entirely out of control. It was even invading her dreams now. This was simply unacceptable. She had to get a grip on herself. No pun intended.
Jemma knew all this. She reminded herself of it again, even as she almost mindlessly rocked down, rotating her hips slightly to apply just the right amount of pressure in just the right spot. She closed her eyes and licked her lips.
And then she rolled over, reaching out for the drawer of her bedside table and quickly finding what she was looking for, even in the darkness. Clicking on the device, she lowered her hand back down. She took a calming breath and tried to picture no one in particular.
***
When he did show up again and not just in her imagination (well…whatever), Jemma tried very hard not to blush. Or stare at his fingers as he messed around with the project Donnie was currently working on.
She cleared her throat and finished walking into the lab. He glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled somewhat shyly.
Jemma had no time for shyness. Donnie would be down there shortly, and Mack never stuck around when Donnie was in the lab.
“What was that all about?”
“What?”
“With Ward?”
“Who?”
“Come on.”
He sighed. Then he tapped the setting on the machine up one notch - Jemma didn’t say anything, deciding to choose her battles.
“Ward? That’s his name?”
“Yeah.”
Mack faced her fully, sticking his hands in his pockets as he shrugged. He took one step closer. “I don’t know. I just felt…I don’t know. There was something about him.”
“You were afraid.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know why.”
“Did he do something?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Was it just his - ”
“Simmons! I don’t remember! I don’t remember anything!” he shouted. “I don’t know anything.”
She bit her lip, looking down and feeling bizarrely guilty. “I’m sorry, I - ”
“No, don’t.” He sighed again, louder. “It’s like it’s right there. It’s on the tip of my tongue and if I could just figure out, just find the right words, this would all make sense, and I would remember everything and I would be…me again.”
“Mack,” she nearly whispered, her voice giving out.
For the first time, she began to believe he was real.
***
Jemma hugged her arms to her stomach and tried to remember the symptoms of shock. Her science was failing though - sign enough that she was barely holding it together. Whatever the symptoms were, she was sure she could tick each box off. She sniffed loudly, refusing to cry and definitely refusing to look over at the corner of the lab where Donnie usually worked.
“Oh God,” Jemma whispered, bringing one hand to her mouth to stifle her sob.
She had just enough wits about her to sense Mack’s presence moments before he spoke.
“You’re - are you bleeding?”
He was behind her, but Jemma didn’t turn. She didn’t ever want to talk to him again. “Go away.”
“Simmons? Jemma, what happened?”
He walked around and crouched in front of her. Some small part of her wished that he could touch her, could pull her into his arms and hug her as she cried, warm her up and make her feel safe again for the first time in ages.
But of all the things he had somehow been able to manipulate, he had never been able to make contact with her. Had never even tried, except in her dreams.
He’d certainly managed to touch Donnie’s work though. She steeled herself and silenced any longing for comfort.
“This is your fault,” she accused. “What did you do? What did you do?”
Mack looked back at her, confused, worried, seemingly innocent. “I don’t...tell me what happened.”
“Donnie!” she shouted, straightening as the anger filled her. “His machine. Your constant sabotage. It - it couldn’t be contained. People died, Mack.”
He shook his head. “No. No, Jemma, that’s not right. What I did to it - it should never have…”
“Maybe you’re not the genius you think you are,” she spat out, beginning to pace back and forth. “But thank goodness your precious, perfect S.H.I.E.L.D. was there to take him out.”
Jemma lost her strength again, sliding down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Her hands were shaking.
“They almost shot me,” she whispered.
After several moments of silence, Mack spoke again, sitting next to her now. Jemma wasn’t sure if he had walked or teleported and she didn’t care. She was happy he was so close, but just as angry at it too.
“Jemma,” he began firmly. “I did not sabotage Donnie’s machine. Well, I did, but not like that. What I did to it should have prevented it from ever starting. If it misfired, it’s because he figured out how to get around my changes. He wanted it to break.”
“Why on earth would he have wanted that?” she asked, not yet willing to believe but not able to extinguish the small spark of hope that Mack wasn't to blame, that he was still the only ultimately good part of her life.
“I don’t know. Was he acting oddly?”
Donnie? He always acted oddly, in her opinion. But had anything been different? She searched her mind. “Maybe. I don’t know, maybe. Ward was talking to him last, trying to calm him down, repeating some kind of mantra.”
Mack nodded. “A trigger or cue, probably.”
“What?”
“Listen to me,” he said, turning to face her more fully. “From what I could tell of his work and from what I overheard him say when he was in here by himself…Donnie wasn’t a loyal Hydra agent. He was brainwashed, and he was fighting it. He would have done anything to escape.”
Jemma couldn’t answer. She simply gaped at him.
He shrugged. “I know it sounds crazy. But Hydra wants the best and brightest. Obviously - they recruited you, after all. And if they can’t get willing participants, they’ll do whatever it takes. S.H.I.E.L.D. can be trigger-happy, but they’re not in the brainwashing business, at least.”
“I…I don’t know what to think.”
Mack sighed and changed the subject. “Are you alright? Were you hurt?”
“No. No, I’m fine. It’s not my - it’s Donnie’s blood.”
“OK,” he replied, before taking a relieved breath. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Jemma exhaled. She was quiet for a long moment before suggesting “Who knows? Maybe we’d get to spend eternity together haunting this lab.”
“Ghosts don’t make a whole lot of scientific sense,” he finally said out loud, and she realized she wasn’t the only one wondering what exactly he was and how he got there.
A beat or two passed as they stared at each other.
“Says the ghost,” she finally replied.
***
Jemma looked over her shoulder, trying to be subtle.
“Stay calm, Simmons,” she whispered to herself. “You’re just a normal person, wasting time on the internet at a café.”
She had waited until they were back home for a few days. She didn’t want to use a Hydra computer, obviously, and she didn’t want anyone to catch her, not even Mack. Because she had started to think, if he were more than just her imagination, he had to be tied to the plane somehow. He was probably on the S.H.I.E.L.D. team that Ward had taken the plane from. And that meant his information could be in the millions upon millions of files that had been released to the public.
Jemma was so glad she was still a lowly lab tech at a mid-level research company when that had happened. She didn’t need all her personal details shared with the world at large. Call her old-fashioned. And when Hydra had come knocking only a week or two later, they had already set up a new firewall. Just one part of the opportunity that had seemed too good to be true at the time.
Unfortunately, other people still believed in internet privacy too, it seemed. Nothing was showing up in her searches. Of course, all she had to work with was “Mack,” which might not have even been his real name. Jemma searched for Coulson next and got nothing on him either, except for a small blurb that he had died before the whole mess in New York. If it weren’t for Garrett and Ward knowing otherwise, Jemma might have even believed the story.
So. Nothing on Coulson or any members of his team. Someone had done a very, very good job of deleting anything about them. S.H.I.E.L.D. must still have some skilled people on their side.
***
“Anyone have anything else?”
“Um, yeah. I might have something.”
The rest of the team turned to look at Skye but she was focused on Mack. Not taking her eyes off him, she pressed a few buttons on her tablet, and a picture of a young woman in a café projected onto the large screen. Skye tilted her head questioningly.
“Know her?”
“Never seen her before in my life.”
Coulson leaned forward and clasped his hands. “What’s this about, Skye?”
“Got a ping on my alerts. Someone searched for S.H.I.E.L.D., your name and Mack’s a couple days ago from this café. I hacked into their video security system and found her - signed into the right computer at the right time.”
“Have you run facial recognition?” May asked.
“Yep.” Skye pressed a couple more buttons, and a driver’s license image appeared on the screen. “Jemma Simmons, Ph.D.-squared. Super smart, apparently, because she got them both by the time she was 17. Hails from merry olde England and has lived on this side of the pond for a couple years. Up until recently, she worked for a biochem company.”
“Until recently?”
Skye glanced up at Hunter’s question before continuing. “She quit her job and pretty much dropped off the face of the planet. Nine days after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell.”
Mack shook his head. “I still don’t understand where I come into this.”
Coulson stood. “I don’t either. So, I think we better ask her.”
“According to her utility records, she doesn’t spend a whole lot of time at her apartment.”
“Better grab her while we can then.”
With that, Coulson walked away. The others looked at each other for a beat, before standing and immediately starting to plan as they walked out.
To Be Continued