It's consuming me
More and more now-a-days, or should i say in a quicker manner than it has done in the past, this disorder is consuming my life. My dog doesn't get a run in the mornings anymore because I take too many laxatives to leave the house, my evenings are spent glued to live journal or trawling through fashion blogs when I should be doing assignments, sewing and finishing my collection. Of course it doesn't help when technology gives it all to me..
My IPhone has it all.. An app for lj, my fav fashion mags, bmi calculator, style.com, myfitnesspal for weight recording and calorie intake control. Everything is right at my finger tips. It's all so convenient and comforting. Of COURSE it's hard to recover. I find that my Ana tendencies have recently been stronger than ever, and my need to be perfect is my number one priority.
Despite my somewhat negative mood, i've actually had a pretty good day. I didn't have work this evening and had to eat a curry that I made for dinner. My partner would not understand if i skipped dinner. My mood has come from my inability to purge. You see our house is like a shoe box with the toilet in the middle of the house. I can't even run water because it's a separate toilet and not in the bathroom. So obviously every noise can be heard. He's started running his fingers over the contours of my bones with a look of despair in his eyes. He can't understand what's happening, he doesn't know what to say.
I'm rambling, I know. I just had to get that out. I hope you're all having/have had a good day :) x
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.