I'm not normally this open. But I've never had to deal with a situation like this before.
He just burst into tears. "I'm so sorry for being such a shit boyfriend, we never talk anymore, I miss you. I'm going to change babe, I'm going to try more, stop being so lazy, stop snapping at you. You don't deserve how I treat you. We can be good together I know we can."
Over the past few months I have constantly felt that I am stupid and nothing I say has worth, that I'm not good enough for him. That I should just be a mute. Stay quiet to avoid arguments. I've put myself down, blamed myself and resented him because at times I hate myself so much.
He kissed me this morning. On my lips. I can't remember the last time we kissed, let alone had sex. And he wonders why my confidence has diminished.
Even after this emotional apology from him, I still feel numb. I couldn't even shed a tear - I used to cry at anything to do with our relationship. I don't believe that he can change that much, at least not while he is still smoking weed so much. He's lazy.
Yes I smoke it too. Yes I need to stop. We both work full-time, and I take pills so I can function - I'm not saying that's a good thing. He just doesn't function. He wakes up in the morning swearing because he's so foggy from the night before. This is everyday. Let me tell you it's hard to turn it around and have a good day when your partner wakes you every morning yelling obscenities and stomping around. It's pathetic. Yet another reason why my resentment is growing.
We need to sit down and have a proper talk. I wish he was at home right now
Over the past few months I have constantly felt that I am stupid and nothing I say has worth, that I'm not good enough for him. That I should just be a mute. Stay quiet to avoid arguments. I've put myself down, blamed myself and resented him because at times I hate myself so much.
He kissed me this morning. On my lips. I can't remember the last time we kissed, let alone had sex. And he wonders why my confidence has diminished.
Even after this emotional apology from him, I still feel numb. I couldn't even shed a tear - I used to cry at anything to do with our relationship. I don't believe that he can change that much, at least not while he is still smoking weed so much. He's lazy.
Yes I smoke it too. Yes I need to stop. We both work full-time, and I take pills so I can function - I'm not saying that's a good thing. He just doesn't function. He wakes up in the morning swearing because he's so foggy from the night before. This is everyday. Let me tell you it's hard to turn it around and have a good day when your partner wakes you every morning yelling obscenities and stomping around. It's pathetic. Yet another reason why my resentment is growing.
We need to sit down and have a proper talk. I wish he was at home right now