Goodbye to you
I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too
These last few weeks of holding on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say, goodbye to you
So I met with the Dr today to discuss Chantix, and despite my cheating and almost 10 lb weight gain she feels that it is working. So I think it is over. It really is time to say goodbye.
You have always been there for me and have always given just as much as I wanted. You never cheated, of course it was essentially an open relationship - it's just that I never wanted for more no matter how many others you poisoned.
I am really going to miss you. Those nights with just the two of us, together in the quiet. You were there when I laughed, when I cried, when I was psycho over a boy or excited about a new job. You always offered comfort and succor. I could depend on you. Dinking beer with friends in a pub will never be the same. You were something to share. I haven't figured out yet how I am going to go on without you. What will I do to get away from my desk? How will a take a break from any chores without your comfort? There is nothing else as comforting to run to to celebrate or mourn or argue or laugh. I will never again talk intensely with someone I love or hate about how important we are to each other while smoking a cigarette.
Outside of blood relatives, you are the longest relationship in my life. You gained me automatic entre to the club of your other lovers. With you I could be the rebel or the cool chic or the arty one - just by acknowledging my relationship with you. I don't know how many friendships grew from that. You created immediate common ground, a sense of intimacy. You saw me through puberty, teenage hood, young adulthood and I guess now middle(?) age but it is time to say goodbye, I don't want to die with you on my lips. I am tired of the demands - the late night runs to the convenience store, always having to build time into my schedule to pick you up, the stuffy sinuses the tight chest, the tired skin. And quite frankly my dear, you cost too much. Giving you up now would allow me to buy a TV or pay for Convergence. I spend more on you in any given month than I do on food. These last few weeks of cutting you out of my life has really shown me what a pain you are. We have to end the secret trysting. It is truly over. You aren't good for me, you aren't good to my pets. My family and a bunch of my friends don't like you or the way you treat me. And I know deep down they are right. I don't feel good with you because you aren't good for me.
I will remember you fondly - we did have good times. You were a part of my identity, my picture of myself but despite all of that it is time for a change. I need a new picture of me, one that doesn't include you. I can still be the rebel, the cool chic, the arty one. I don't need you to define me. I have a lot to offer beyond my love for you. And is it even love between us or just dependancy? Because here at the end I realize how completly one sided our relationship has been. You cost me money, time and possibly years off my life. You make my house, my hair and my clothes smell. You demand and yet return just a fleeting sense of well being - short lived until the need for you kicks in again and again and again. You provide no long lasting goodness. You have nothing to offer me anymore.
This is it. The relationship between us is over.
Meaux
These last few weeks of holding on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say, goodbye to you
So I met with the Dr today to discuss Chantix, and despite my cheating and almost 10 lb weight gain she feels that it is working. So I think it is over. It really is time to say goodbye.
You have always been there for me and have always given just as much as I wanted. You never cheated, of course it was essentially an open relationship - it's just that I never wanted for more no matter how many others you poisoned.
I am really going to miss you. Those nights with just the two of us, together in the quiet. You were there when I laughed, when I cried, when I was psycho over a boy or excited about a new job. You always offered comfort and succor. I could depend on you. Dinking beer with friends in a pub will never be the same. You were something to share. I haven't figured out yet how I am going to go on without you. What will I do to get away from my desk? How will a take a break from any chores without your comfort? There is nothing else as comforting to run to to celebrate or mourn or argue or laugh. I will never again talk intensely with someone I love or hate about how important we are to each other while smoking a cigarette.
Outside of blood relatives, you are the longest relationship in my life. You gained me automatic entre to the club of your other lovers. With you I could be the rebel or the cool chic or the arty one - just by acknowledging my relationship with you. I don't know how many friendships grew from that. You created immediate common ground, a sense of intimacy. You saw me through puberty, teenage hood, young adulthood and I guess now middle(?) age but it is time to say goodbye, I don't want to die with you on my lips. I am tired of the demands - the late night runs to the convenience store, always having to build time into my schedule to pick you up, the stuffy sinuses the tight chest, the tired skin. And quite frankly my dear, you cost too much. Giving you up now would allow me to buy a TV or pay for Convergence. I spend more on you in any given month than I do on food. These last few weeks of cutting you out of my life has really shown me what a pain you are. We have to end the secret trysting. It is truly over. You aren't good for me, you aren't good to my pets. My family and a bunch of my friends don't like you or the way you treat me. And I know deep down they are right. I don't feel good with you because you aren't good for me.
I will remember you fondly - we did have good times. You were a part of my identity, my picture of myself but despite all of that it is time for a change. I need a new picture of me, one that doesn't include you. I can still be the rebel, the cool chic, the arty one. I don't need you to define me. I have a lot to offer beyond my love for you. And is it even love between us or just dependancy? Because here at the end I realize how completly one sided our relationship has been. You cost me money, time and possibly years off my life. You make my house, my hair and my clothes smell. You demand and yet return just a fleeting sense of well being - short lived until the need for you kicks in again and again and again. You provide no long lasting goodness. You have nothing to offer me anymore.
This is it. The relationship between us is over.
Meaux